# Hi, I'm A Dumbass And My Dog Is Dead... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 10, 2004, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-a-dumbass-and-my-dog-is-dead/249631 "2004-06-10T13:23:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-a-dumbass-and-my-dog-is-dead/249631/1 "2004-06-10T13:23:02Z")
**…or, The Cast Of _Friends_ Pointed Out That My Mom Is A Filthy Liar** So a bunch of us are watching _Friends_ recently, and this scene comes on: > [@](#): > > :: discussing things people say to “soften the blow” :: > Chandler: Yeah, it’s like when you’re a kid, and your parents put your dog to sleep, and they tell you it went off to live on some farm. > Ross: That’s funny, that, no, because, uh, our parents actually did, uh, send our dog off to live on a farm. > Monica: Uh, Ross. > Ross: What? Wh- hello? The Millners’ farm in Connecticut? The Millners, they had this unbelievable farm, they had horses, and, and rabbits that he could chase and it was- it w- …Oh my God, Chi Chi! Ok, ha ha. I turn to my friends and say “Heh…funny stuff. Ya know, my folks really did send our dog off to live on a farm.” _:: dubious looks from friends ::_ “Nonono, really…some friends of theirs had this ranch out near Heightstown. They gave Dobro to them.” _“Ummm… **Hal** …”_ “Ok, ha ha, yeah, I get it, it’s just like the show, very funny. Except my dog _really did_ go live there.” _“Ok, if you say so.”_ :dubious: “Thank you…Be right back. I gotta call my mom.” * * * One phone call to mom later, it turns out that I’m a complete and utter moron. Note to parents: if you’re going to lie to your kids (and I fully understand that you will sometimes need to do so), do them a favor: At some point, come clean with them. Tell them what really happened. They’re going to find out at some point, and I say it’s better that you level with them. As opposed to, oh, I dunno, _having a fricking sitcom tell them, in front of all their friends, 20 fricking years later?!_ :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-a-dumbass-and-my-dog-is-dead/249631/2 "2004-06-10T13:26:07Z")
Hmmm…rereading the thread title, it seems that someone could easily some in here thinking I recently did something stupid, resulting in my dog getting killed. Sorry if that’s the impression you got. That dog has been dead a loooong time (just not nearly as long as I had originally thought :smack: ). ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-a-dumbass-and-my-dog-is-dead/249631/3 "2004-06-10T13:32:00Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > Hmmm…rereading the thread title, it seems that someone could easily some in here thinking I recently did something stupid, resulting in my dog getting killed. Sorry if that’s the impression you got. That dog has been dead a loooong time (just not nearly as long as I had originally thought :smack: ). Don’t worry, Hal. I saw the word ‘dumbass’ in the thread title and automatically assumed it was going to be a funny story about some other moron. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-a-dumbass-and-my-dog-is-dead/249631/4 "2004-06-10T13:34:49Z")
That’s **Dumass** , not Dumbass. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-a-dumbass-and-my-dog-is-dead/249631/5 "2004-06-10T13:34:55Z")
Heh…no, the “dumbass” in question is _this_ moron. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-a-dumbass-and-my-dog-is-dead/249631/6 "2004-06-10T13:39:41Z")
My mom still insists that our dog simply ran away and never returned. He had run off several times but he always came back. Oh this was 1972 when Tinker ran away. But I know the truth. And I knew back in '72. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-a-dumbass-and-my-dog-is-dead/249631/7 "2004-06-10T13:41:15Z")
You’re not an idiot, just a victim of a well-meaning parent. This is the reason why I’m not a big fan of “fibbing” to kids. When I was young, my parents took an unexpected litter of puppies (we lived on a farm) to the local animal shelter for adoption. A stupid high-school-age shelter employee made the crack, “You’re just in time! We don’t kill them until tomorrow!” I don’t think I was ever the same again. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-a-dumbass-and-my-dog-is-dead/249631/8 "2004-06-10T14:37:15Z")
My old dog was sent to live on a farm, too. Uh-oh. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-a-dumbass-and-my-dog-is-dead/249631/9 "2004-06-10T14:48:31Z")
I once spent about two weeks combing the neighborhood for a missing cat until Mom broke down and confessed she had run it over with the car. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-a-dumbass-and-my-dog-is-dead/249631/10 "2004-06-10T14:55:34Z")
My brother’s rabbit escaped from it’s cage and went to live in the pine plantation. I don’t know if he still calls out hello to the rabbit when he drives by the plantation, but I think he still doesn’t know that the rabbit never actually lived there… ---
**Author:** ![Calliope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Calliope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calliope)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-a-dumbass-and-my-dog-is-dead/249631/11 "2004-06-10T14:58:14Z")
My dog not only went to live on a farm, it was the vet’s own personal farm! Or so my mom told me… ---
**Author:** ![Papermache\_Prince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f05b48/32.png) [@Papermache\_Prince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Papermache_Prince)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-a-dumbass-and-my-dog-is-dead/249631/12 "2004-06-10T15:00:36Z")
Gee, Mom said Dad went to live on a farm 15 years ago. I wonder . . . . ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-a-dumbass-and-my-dog-is-dead/249631/13 "2004-06-10T15:02:52Z")
My family really did have a dog that was given to a friend out in the country – they were moving to a big city, and this was a dog that needed a lot of room to run and stuff. She’d have been miserable. The last I heard she was living a blissful doggie life. Really. We have pictures. I was never lied to like this. It may be well-meaning, but I wouldn’t do it. Pets die. It’s awful, but it’s the truth. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-a-dumbass-and-my-dog-is-dead/249631/14 "2004-06-10T15:05:44Z")
I thought that Momsix was lying to me one time when she said that my cat’s girlfriend and all the kittens were going to go live on a farm (cat’s girlfriend was a stray) and then the farmer came to get them, so I thought he was the cat-killer. She got put in a box in the trunk and taken away with all the kittens. About a month later, she showed up again. She got adopted by a neighbor and the neighbor had her spayed and she was my cat’s girlfriend till he died. Then a couple of years ago, she died. Weird. When Dadsix’s hunting dog got arthritis so bad that he couldn’t walk anymore, Momsix was very blunt and said ‘Dadsix is going to shoot Spotty.’ At the time it gave me nightmares (I was around three), but now I appreciate the honesty if not the bluntness. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-a-dumbass-and-my-dog-is-dead/249631/15 "2004-06-10T15:08:22Z")
> [@whiterabbit](#): > > My family really did have a dog that was given to a friend out in the country – they were moving to a big city, and this was a dog that needed a lot of room to run and stuff. . . . but they _told_ you she’d been hit by a car. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-a-dumbass-and-my-dog-is-dead/249631/16 "2004-06-10T15:13:46Z")
> [@Ruby](#): > > When I was young, my parents took an unexpected litter of puppies (we lived on a farm) See!! The Farm exists. Ruby’s parents own it. The farm where all doggies go to! ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-a-dumbass-and-my-dog-is-dead/249631/17 "2004-06-10T15:16:39Z")
So _that’s_ why we had so many “strays”. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-a-dumbass-and-my-dog-is-dead/249631/18 "2004-06-10T15:26:07Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > . . . but they _told_ you she’d been hit by a car. 😃 Considering that I was 21 or 22 at the time, I hardly think so. Good one, though. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-a-dumbass-and-my-dog-is-dead/249631/19 "2004-06-10T15:32:53Z")
I need to call my parents tonight. I’ll get back to you tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-a-dumbass-and-my-dog-is-dead/249631/20 "2004-06-10T16:02:29Z")
When I was a kid of about 9 or 10, I bought a [cayman](http://www.websters-online-dictionary.org/definition/english/ca/cayman.html) from the TG&Y store. I kept it in a big bowl and fed it raw hamburger. My mom told me it “got out and ran off” one day. It’s only recently that I figured out that she let it loose in the bayou behind our house. She passed away several years ago, so I can’t confirm this, but there is no way it could have gotten all the way out the door through the whole house! She probably did the little guy a favor, though. Kids will believe anything. ☹ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-a-dumbass-and-my-dog-is-dead/249631.md?page=2)