# "HI--I'M ON THE TRAIN. NOTHIN' WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 5, 2003, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-on-the-train-nothin-what-are-you-doing/179902 "2003-06-05T19:03:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-on-the-train-nothin-what-are-you-doing/179902/21 "2003-06-05T20:50:37Z")
Yes - she was sniffing and sucking - I had forgot that bit, oddly enough… ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-on-the-train-nothin-what-are-you-doing/179902/22 "2003-06-05T21:48:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JuanitaTech \* > \*\* Where’s my complementary limo for being me? \*\* Why is it no ones ever sent me yet One perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it’s alway just my luck to get One perfect rose. I’m just posting that because I think “Where’s my complementary limo for being me?” is a great line, and I figured Eve wouldn’t mind a little Dorothy Parker :). ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-on-the-train-nothin-what-are-you-doing/179902/23 "2003-06-05T23:11:15Z")
I miss the days before cell phones, when you could just pity the poor souls who sat on the bus talking loudly to someone who wasn’t there, rather than despise them. ---
**Author:** ![MaddyStrut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MaddyStrut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaddyStrut)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-on-the-train-nothin-what-are-you-doing/179902/24 "2003-06-05T23:19:47Z")
Ah yes, cell phones on trains. Almost enough to make me violent. The worst offenders on the New York to Baltimore route are those that sit in the Quiet Car (the one with signs saying no cell phone use) and proceed to yak away for the entire trip on conference calls, etc. I’m sorry, but unless you are the only doctor in the world who knows how to treat the current life-threatening malady of some powerful world leader, you’re just not that important. Find another car or wait till the damn trip is over. ---
**Author:** ![viking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@viking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/viking)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-on-the-train-nothin-what-are-you-doing/179902/25 "2003-06-05T23:20:05Z")
The best half-convesation I’ve ever heard, on the bus, leaving campus: \ Hello? Yeah, I’m on the bus… Uh-huh, you’re in class, and you’re bored? Why don’t you leave class, then? Well, I’m on the bus, but it hasn’t left yet. I could get off and meet you… No? OK, then. bye. [10 minutes later] \ Hello? Uh-huh, you’ve now left class? Right, but the bus left 10 minutes ago, so I’m not on campus anymore… Uh-huh. OK, bye… ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-on-the-train-nothin-what-are-you-doing/179902/26 "2003-06-05T23:20:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by D\_Odds \* > \*\ ***World Eater** , I do that every day (J train). I don’t know how anyone can have a phone conversation on that train, over the constant din of subway preachers, philosophers and performers. But people try and do hold their conversations. I think 9/10ths of the train pulls out their phones once it exits the tunnel onto the bridge. \*\* Well, okay, maybe this is why they have to scream. But really, what is wrong with someone having a conversation in a normal tone of voice, on a cell phone? Why is it worse than if they have a conversation with their seatmate? Why is it bad if it’s in a restaurant? Sure it’s rude if you’re on your phone and you’re sitting with a bunch of friends, but it’s rude to your friends–not to total strangers. Again, not if you’re yelling. I love cell phones because I talk to myself ALL the time–and with gestures and facial expressions and everything. Now, people simply assume that I’m on a cellphone (I hope). I think that’s better. Maybe not. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-on-the-train-nothin-what-are-you-doing/179902/27 "2003-06-05T23:45:12Z")
The headphones thing drives me crazy. The point of headphones is so _other people aren’t forced to listen to your shitty music_. I was actually in class last semester when this girl walked in wearing headphones that were so loud I actually jumped when she walked in. The professor stopped lecturing and everyone turned and stared at her as she walked to the far end of the room and the front of the class with her headphones blaring. Yes, some people really are _that_ oblivious. :rolleyes: I was at the movies last weekend and some asshat in front of me whipped out his cell phone _right after the movie started_ and had the following conversation… _Yeah, I’m in the middle…I dunno, get me some popcorn…oh, and a soda…no, I don’t know what kind…yeah…aight, hurry up dude!!_ Please note this conversation although short, was SHOUTED AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS! I was two seconds away from ripping that damn phone out of his hands and throwing it. :mad: **Eve** , I just wanted to say that you’re my new hero. Calling that guy at home was _classic_. ---
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2003, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-on-the-train-nothin-what-are-you-doing/179902/28 "2003-06-06T00:12:50Z")
I’ve always been tempted to tell these people, “You know, you should upgrade to a better phone so you don’t have to scream. Or do you have a bad service provider?” When someone’s subjecting the car to their phone’s ringer (whether by not answering it or by playing with the tunes) I have been known to yell “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ANSWER IT OR SHUT IT OFF.” ---
**Author:** ![Syzygy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Syzygy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syzygy)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2003, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-on-the-train-nothin-what-are-you-doing/179902/29 "2003-06-06T00:55:28Z")
And it’s not as though you have to yell at all. I remember sitting in a friend’s car, listening to his car stereo at an inappropriately loud level, and my friend, sitting next to me, felt his phone ring, answered it, and had a conversation, all without my noticing. He didn’t even turn down the radio. The noise-cancelling tech in these newer handsets is so advanced that you barely have to speak at all. In addition, it seems my handset compresses the incoming signal, so yelling or whispering, it’s all the same volume. So…the yelling…it does nothing! ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2003, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-on-the-train-nothin-what-are-you-doing/179902/30 "2003-06-06T01:08:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Neurotik \* > \*\* > > Suddenly this guy a few rows back starts yelling at the top of his lungs, “HEY, TO THE RIGHT! I’M THE MASSIVE TOOL ON THE CELL PHONE! YEAH! IN THE BLEACHERS! I’M THE ASSHOLE THAT WON’T SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP! MAYBE IF I WAVE MY HANDS LIKE THE GIANT TOOL I AM, YOU’LL SEE ME!” > > \*\* ROFL! I was just complaining about this same exact thing in my LJ. My favorite baseball memory was when a few seats down from us (day game) there was a with his buddies who had obviously skipped out of work for the day, and the guy in question was dressed in what I call “business dandy” attire. _Tres_ fashonible pinky/coral severely pressed shirt, pricey slacks pressed and pleated just so, little flippy cell phone that he answered approximately 50 times in the first inning alone. Finally some guy like 4 rows behind him said “Geez, buddy. Either watch the game or go back to work!” The phone guy sniffed “well at least I HAVE a job” or something weak like that. The heckler said “what, you think because I don’t wear a little “outfit” I don’t have a job?” The whole section roared with laughter at him. He shut up for a couple innings and then I guess decided he’d had enough of us common folk and left. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2003, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-on-the-train-nothin-what-are-you-doing/179902/31 "2003-06-06T01:26:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*Several times I’ve had people four or five seats away yelling into their phones, “CAN YOU HEAR ME? _CAN YOU HEAR ME?_” to which I will shout, “YES! PIPE DOWN!!” > > I’ve been applauded. \*\* I’m not surprised, you’re awesome for doing that!!! ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2003, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-on-the-train-nothin-what-are-you-doing/179902/32 "2003-06-06T01:26:45Z")
"The worst offenders on the New York to Baltimore route are those that sit in the Quiet Car . . . " They do this on the \*Quiet Car? \*Please tell me they’re not allowed to get away with this–doesn’t anyone approach them, explain the meaning of the word “quiet,” and offer to toss them off the train?! If not, why the hell _not?_ And, **Cicada2003** , as I said in my OP, no one objects to people having conversations in a normal tone of voice. This is about the all-too-prevalent _screamers._ ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-on-the-train-nothin-what-are-you-doing/179902/33 "2003-06-06T01:35:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Neurotik \* > **Suddenly this guy a few rows back starts yelling at the top of his lungs, "HEY, TO THE RIGHT! I’M THE MASSIVE TOOL ON THE CELL PHONE! YEAH! IN THE BLEACHERS! I’M THE ASSHOLE THAT WON’T SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP! MAYBE IF I WAVE MY HANDS LIKE THE GIANT TOOL I AM, YOU’LL SEE ME!"** Man, that’s beautiful. Unfortunately, it is something I’ll never see at Pac Bell Park. I think more cell-phone calls are taken than cups of beer drunk (drank? drinkened?). “I’m at the game!” “I’m at the game!” Ugh. So am I, and I actually give a shit about that fact, now shut up! Then again, a couple of good whaps with the otherwise-evil TunderStix could be all I need. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2003, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-on-the-train-nothin-what-are-you-doing/179902/34 "2003-06-06T01:53:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*"The worst offenders on the New York to Baltimore route are those that sit in the Quiet Car . . . " > > They do this on the \*Quiet Car? _Please tell me they’re not allowed to get away with this–doesn’t anyone approach them, explain the meaning of the word “quiet,” and offer to toss them off the train?! If not, why the hell not?_ \*\* Oh, they do throw them off. Right out the window. The route from Baltimore to New York is littered with corpses and broken cell phones. 😉 Okay, I’m kidding. But on the Baltimore-DC route they are quite strict, I hear. > [@](#): > > \*\*Dragonblink said: > I’ve always been tempted to tell these people, “You know, you should upgrade to a better phone so you don’t have to scream. Or do you have a bad service provider?” \*\*That’s what I don’t get. My cell phone is a basic freebie Nokia, and I use Verizon, the basic $25-a-month plan. I _never_ have to yell, and I hardly ever have put the antenna up. What kind of cheesy service provider do all the screamers have? Are they the ones buying cell phones and the pay-as-you-go plans at the 7-11? ---
**Author:** ![MaddyStrut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MaddyStrut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaddyStrut)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2003, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-on-the-train-nothin-what-are-you-doing/179902/35 "2003-06-06T02:14:23Z")
Yes \*\* Eve\*\*, they do it on the Quiet Car. And, alas, I was too much of a non confrontational coward to do anything about it–as was everyone else in that car (though **BiblioCat’s** graphic was amusing). To be fair, I’ve only traveled on that train during commuter hours and the conversations were work-related. But, c’mon, it’s the Quiet Car! Obviously a normal volume conversation isn’t an annoyance (well, maybe on the Quiet Car), it’s those that are _screaming_ into the phones that are annoying and those that are talking in places/at times when one shouldn’t be (e.g. in a movie theater, in class, etc.) ---
**Author:** ![Delly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85f322/32.png) [@Delly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delly)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2003, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-on-the-train-nothin-what-are-you-doing/179902/36 "2003-06-06T03:34:17Z")
I always mutter something like shut up as I walk past, yes I know its sorta rude, but so is screaming down a phone… A guy I used to go to college wih one time,call him Brian(cos thats his name), was at the cinema when a group of about 14/15 year olds were sat behind him and half way through a phone went off, the guy answered it and about 15 minutes later, Brian turns around and asks him to shut the hell up, the guy just takes the piss outta Brian, so Brian punched him on the nose. Cinema cheered! End Result? little smart ass got kicked out of the movie and Brian watched in peace:) ---
**Author:** ![Sivalensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Sivalensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sivalensis)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2003, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-on-the-train-nothin-what-are-you-doing/179902/37 "2003-06-06T03:45:55Z")
It seems like this is a wholly American phenomenon. I see it all the time here at home (I have no problems whatsoever hearing on my cell phone, or being heard). When I was in Europe (western, as in France and I think England, though I’m not sure), if someone got a call on their cell phone, they’d talk in a nice quiet, normal voice which you could barely hear because they turned away to be more private. Do they just have been service over there or are we just hugely loud and uncaring over here?(well yes as a matter of fact…) ---
**Author:** ![Morrigoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/858c86/32.png) [@Morrigoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morrigoon)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2003, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-on-the-train-nothin-what-are-you-doing/179902/38 "2003-06-06T04:32:25Z")
I was in one of those stadium-seating movie theatres once (I think we were watching _Twister_), and in the middle of one of the tensest quiet parts of the film, some guy’s cell phone rings in one of the back rows, and he answers it and starts talking. I turned around and said loudly **“Tell them you’re BUSY!”** There was a pause, then a brief muffled giggle from the rest of the audience, but at least he finally walked out of the theater (still talking on his cell) I got the idea from an article I read where someone in the orchestra section answered their cell phone during a play - one of the actors stopped his dialogue, turned to the culprit, said that, and went back into his lines. ---
**Author:** ![Pammipoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/87869e/32.png) [@Pammipoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pammipoo)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2003, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-on-the-train-nothin-what-are-you-doing/179902/39 "2003-06-06T04:52:32Z")
When I used to take the commuter home, I’d often be on the last train out, the 10:30 one. It’d be empty, and quiet, with everyone either asleep or staring happily into space. There was always someone who did the obligatory “I’m on the train!” conversation, like they wanted a reward or something. I used to know the night conductors, so when they got obnoxious, I’d slip into the empty conductor car in the front, and sleep in peace. I miss having connections. ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2003, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-on-the-train-nothin-what-are-you-doing/179902/40 "2003-06-06T07:39:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by shrew \* > **Her long lost brother was sitting directly in front of me on the Snowdon Mountain Railway last week in Wales. He ate his own boogers, ear wax, and facial skin flakes, and was rubbing his fingers in his armpits and sniffing/sucking them.** I believe I can top even this one. Not long ago, I had the dubious pleasure of sitting beside a dedicated nosepicker on a three-hour flight. I only wish he’d have eaten his bounty; instead, he _wiped it on his pantsleg_, which, given we were on a Southwest Airlines plane, was about two centimeters away from my own leg. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kalhoun \* > **I just don’t see a need to be connected to the rest of the world every minute of every day.** People keep telling me I need to get a cellphone. What they don’t know is that one of the main reasons I leave the house at all is to avoid their calls. It’s also the sole reason I have an answering machine. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-on-the-train-nothin-what-are-you-doing/179902.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-on-the-train-nothin-what-are-you-doing/179902.md?page=3)