# Hi, I'm Tripler. Let me sell you some coffee! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 20, 2020, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-tripler-let-me-sell-you-some-coffee/926046 "2020-11-20T14:58:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2020, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-tripler-let-me-sell-you-some-coffee/926046/1 "2020-11-20T14:58:24Z")
(Starting a new thread, 'cause I we started with some puns in [another](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuclear-attack-scenario/925328/63) one). Hi, I’m **Tripler** , longtime SDMB member, and when I’m not off deterring the world from nuclear annihilation, I moonlight as President and CEO of TripCo Industries. Today, we’re here to offer you the finest in ‘sunshine spectaculars’ of a breakfast blend, “_Up and Atom!_” coffee–sure to blast you off into a great [new START](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_START) to your day. You haven’t had a half-life so energized after a cup of our blend; and as our unpaid spokesman @LSLGuy will attest, “_It’s self heating!_” Your co-workers will glean all sorts of energy off of your radio-activity after a mug of our mud! Some of our line of daughter products include: - “_[Teapot](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Teapot)_” blend, for that nuclear Cowboy coffee taste. [Major Kong](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Strangelove#Slim_Pickens_as_Major_T._J._%22King%22_Kong) tested, and approved! - Our decaf “_Muddy Dud fer yer Mug_,” blend, with hand-select beans by our roasting containment vessels’ expert @jnglmassiv - For a snack, try @Machine_Elf’s _Yellowcake_ breakfast pastry–great when paired with our “_Fuller Lodge_” blend for that old-timey, full-bodied, log cabin taste. Go to your local grocery store today, and try one of TripCo’s new blends of coffee. You’re sure to develop some [strange love](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Strangelove) for our coffee. And be sure to share with your friends for that mutually assured caffienation feel in the office! So fire up your inner [cyclotrons](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyclotron) today with a shot of java that’ll bring you to a new [Crossroads](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Crossroads) of productivity! DISCLAIMER: TripCo Industries is not responsible for environmental cleanup or decontamination after use of our coffee in your cup; your mother does not work here so wash your own mugs. TripCo Coffee is not available for export due to the Treaty of Non-Proliferation of kickass coffee to rogue states. EPA permitting is the sole requirement of the brewing agent. Tripler You guys knew this thread was inevitable. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2020, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-tripler-let-me-sell-you-some-coffee/926046/2 "2020-11-20T15:08:26Z")
> [@Tripler](#): > > For a snack, try @Machine_Elf’s _Yellowcake_ breakfast pastry–great when paired with our “ _Fuller Lodge_ ” blend for that old-timey, full-bodied, log cabin taste. - Does that come with mushrooms? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2020, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-tripler-let-me-sell-you-some-coffee/926046/3 "2020-11-20T15:10:48Z")
Can you make a version that tastes like Pepsi? ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2020, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-tripler-let-me-sell-you-some-coffee/926046/4 "2020-11-20T15:20:05Z")
No, but we’re working on the licensing to start work on [Organic Plutonium.](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--g-d0YAX06w/UG0H8X7u6UI/AAAAAAAAKEo/_jlB6xs9mWo/s1600/Organic+Plutonium+by+Ed+Grothus.jpg). > [@TriPolar](#): > > Can you make a version that tastes like Pepsi? We _could_ start a new line of soft drinks. Our Product Research Division spun up something called “_Fizzle_”: for when you need a bang of energy, but it might leave you a little flat. Tripler We at TripCo Industries are always open to new suggestions. ---
**Author:** ![Gray\_Ghost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c0e974/32.png) [@Gray\_Ghost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gray_Ghost)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2020, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-tripler-let-me-sell-you-some-coffee/926046/5 "2020-11-20T15:33:05Z")
This **needs** to be in the next _Fallout_ installment. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2020, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-tripler-let-me-sell-you-some-coffee/926046/6 "2020-11-20T16:22:44Z")
Hmmmm…got anything that might have passed through the digestive tract of a bird? Asking for a friend! ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2020, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hi-im-tripler-let-me-sell-you-some-coffee/926046/7 "2020-11-20T17:31:43Z")
Unfortunately not. All of our coffee blends are nitrate free. Tripler We’ll give your friend a coupon, though.