That’s usually a W-2 form. You only get a W-10 if you’re doing your taxes in binary format.
If my husband were to do something like that, I’d be over the moon. I make virtually all our household decisions, down to what we’re eating for dinner every damn day. I once informed my husband that I would love it if he would surprise me with dinner one night and his response was, “Okay! What should I get?” And, God love him, he did try to surprise me with dinner, but his “surprise” was that he fed our three year old son. Not me, not him. Just our three-year old son.
So, if my husband were to take something, anything like that out of my hands just to show me he loved me, particularly anything that would require any amount of planning, I’d probably wet myself in excitement.
But that’s just me.
I’d be pretty careful that you know what she would want to do. You’d hate to have her faking pleasure while thinking, “gosh, that would have made a great down payment on a new BMW” or whatever secret desire she has.
I’d be thrilled, as long as there weren’t any outstanding/urgent debts we had. I would just talk over vacation dates with her and tell her to leave the planning to you. I wish someone would do that for me. 
Nope - no unknown family debt.
I asked my wife, saying that I don’t know the amount yet (I do), how we should spend the money. What part for play, debt, & household? She’s got no financial needs, it seems, that need done (she’s our family accountant) and her idea was to sock it away for “just in case”.
Yeah - there were some money problems with her previous marriage. She was the chief wage-earner and thought she had to monitor her husband, too. (He also had a 2nd family on the side but didn’t give them much money, it seems). Later, as he became more drug addled, he decided that “the man” wouldn’t get any more money from him and he started working only for under-the-table money. Yeah, she’s got a few money issues but she’s remarkable un-stressed for one who’s come through all this.
Me? I obsess over every penny and that’s why she’s the better accountant.
EDIT: I was thinking one use would also be to re-do the kitchen but I’d have to do some more pricing & planning for that.
It’s unethical. Don’t hide money from your wife like she’s a child, and then tell her, but I did it for your own good, honey, I was going to buy you something nice to placate you.
Unless the entire nature of your relationship is that she is your child, and shouldn’t be treated as an equal partner. In which case, knock yourself out.
Based on the OP’s clarification, I’d take my partner for a nice night out that I know she’ll like, buy something ridiculous for myself, and put the rest into savings. Not a beach vacation, but guaranteed fun for all.
(And FTR the only people I’ve ever known to hide money from their spouse – those with kids, I mean, I know couples who have no joint accounts – are abuse victims and people having affairs.)
You know, with her history with her ex and stuff, I really wouldn’t hide money from her, even for what appears to you to be a nice surprise. Let her well-founded trust in you be her nice surprise.
Actually, given her reaction to the idea of what to do with the bonus, I think something like an expensive surprise dinner might be more fitting for her level of comfort with expenditure. Maybe you could try that out and see how she responds before you do something big like a trip. On preview, I agree with Cat. 
We live in Vegas, so surprises like this are not uncommon.
They have slot machines in supermarkets here - so often, on the way out, my SO or I will play $5 - $10 on a machine and then head home.
Not often (sadly) but one of us will sometimes return with a nice chunk of change and say, “Groceries were free today!” (Once, my SO won over $1,700 on a quarter machine!)
We usually talk about what we should do with the money - yeah, some goes for bills and mundane stuff, but often it can be for something “fun” together.
In other words, I would just pull out the check and say, “how about a trip or a big screen TV?!”
Cat, I do the same thing and “hiding” money, even as a surprise for me, would bug me for the same reasons. When I get “surprises” from my husband they’ve been planned (and generally pre-shopped for) - I wanted diamond earrings for Mother’s Day several years ago and he got a budget (which he blew, which I knew he’d blow and made smaller on purpose).
If my husband got a surprise bonus at work, for ME, it would be just as romantic and nice if we had a “where would you like to go if we got unexpected money.” We’d have a fun dream conversation and at the end he’d say “I’m getting a $5k bonus at work (or whatever), let’s do it.”
That lets me either play along with the surprise (which I might do) or say “we really need to replace the driveway…”
I get yearly bonus at work (not enough to remodel a kitchen with…that would be nice…) and here is what I would do:
First, my wife always gets told about financial news like this. Honey, I got a $1500 bonus this year, after taxes, etc. We maintain separate accounts, but she does the bill-paying and knows everything about how much money comes in, and I beleive deserves to know about this. I consider all money I earn to be “family money” and I take a portion for myself, to pay things like car payments, etc, but everyone in the family is entitled to the use of my income to pay bills. There is no “my money” simply by my declaration. That’s not how families work.
Second, I would say “Dear, I got X amount of money from work as a bonus. I’d like to keep Y of it for my own personal use, do you agree? And what should be done with the rest? You should take some for yourself as well…”
My wife never objects to this.
She just got her bonus, too, and I already suggested she take a portion and blow it on something for herself. Mine is bigger.
I think I’m going to price-out a kitchen upgrade and maybe use it toward that if the price is anywhere near the bonus. I need to keep back some for a spectacular evening out, I think. A play, dinner, and a night at a hotel. Something like that would be below my guilt threshold for hiding money (just couple hundred, not thousands) and not all tangled up with her serious limits in being able to schedule vacation time with her employer. I may get some chrome bitties for my motorcycle for myself, and sock the rest aside for a kitchen makeover.
I hope you don’t end up enrolled in the Jelly of the Month Club.
I hide money from my husband, but he knows it. It’s the Birthday Fund, which is in business right up till his birthday, when its remains transform into the Christmas Fund. He never knows its location or general health unless he sees something he wants, and then I tell him if the Birthday Fund can or cannot cover it. We both know I could charge anything I want to buy him on my Visa, but I like my little game.
Mmm hmm. :dubious:
Other people’s financial arrangements freak me out. I work hard for my money; it’s mine. My partner also works hard and has money, which is not mine. Each of us pays an equal amount into a joint account, and from that we pay the mortgage, bills etc. Other than that, our money is our own. Obviously it would be different if one of us wasn’t working, but as it is (and seems to be for the OP as well - you’re both earning, right?), why wouldn’t I be “allowed” to spend my own money? Whether I choose to spend it on myself or my partner is my business: it’s my money.
We’ve been together for ten years and have never once had an argument about money or been in any financial trouble. When one of us has been unemployed in that time, the other has passed over a bundle of notes, which then became the other person’s money and hence none of the original earner’s business. I don’t know if either of us paid the other back - I doubt it, since neither of us cares about money, but we have both been in that position so it probably worked out. I have no idea how much money my partner has, and vice versa.
I make 250% of what my wife makes. Putting equal money into an account wouldn’t cut it. Even proportional seems unfair.
She has an account which has some money in it. I’m not sure how she gets money into it.
I have my own account and put a flat amount into it each paycheck. The rest goes into a joint account. She manages the bills, groceries, etc. from that account.
My account gives me some play money. I can buy bits for my motorcycle, occasional video game, lunch out, etc. It also entirely funded the kids & my wife’s Christmas presents, their summer camp and a few other oddball expenses (Starting in autumn I start hoarding for Christmas and cut my spending way back).
It’s kinda a slush account but I get to dip into it guilt free.
The method works so far.
Amusingly, my husband and I are the opposite. Despite not actually having a joint account, we consider all the money to be “ours” and both of us together determine how large amounts (such as bonuses) are spent, no matter where the money came from. We also never fight about money. That’s why it’s hard to give Belrix advice here; every relationship is different.
If my husband were to hide money from me for some kind of surprise, I’d be pretty annoyed UNLESS it was for a trip, and that’s only because he’s so anti-travel that my delight at getting him to go somewhere would far overcome any irritation at him concealing the money.
Eh, to each their own, as long as everyone involved is happy. I checked with Jim just a little while ago to make sure he was good with our financial arrangements, and he was. He did mention that he figured he should probably learn how to do all the online banking that I do now, and that was a good idea.
It’s your bonus. You earned it. It isn’t like your hiding what you really make from your wife. It is nice you are thinking about surprising your wife with a trip.
I never considered a ‘bonus’ being something to share? Does she share her bonus with you? Mine was my fun money to do buy something I had been wanting for a long time.
A surprise trip for the both of you can’t be a surprise if you spill the beans. If I was your wife I would rather have the surprise trip. Very romantic!
To clarify, I wasn’t trying to criticise anyone else’s financial arrangements. Every relationship is indeed different. I know I couldn’t be doing with an arrangement like yours, Cat Whisperer, but equally you’d probably be driven mad by ours! When I said they freak me out, I mean the thought of me living like that freaks me out. [magnanimous] You may all live as you please! [/magnanimous]