My enjoyment (or not) my last high school reunion lies where on the following scale:
My wife and I had our 50th high school reunions over a year ago (my wife was born ten days before me, so we attended schools at the same time, but 40 miles apart). We went to both. Mine was basically a get-together at a restaurant downtown that didn’t exist when we were going to school. My wife’s was in a hotel complex pretty far away from her high school and town, and pretty expensive.
We’ve kept in touch with some people from our classes. A lot of them show up on Facebook now.
I went to my 10th and 20th year high school reunions, and enjoyed them. Learned a lot about people I hadn’t seen in decades.
I didn’t go to my 30th or 40th reunions because of personal circumstances. If I could have, I would have gone.
One thing about class reunions: I wasn’t just friends with Class of 1980. I knew and liked people in classes of 1977-1984. But I’m not going to crash somene else’s reunion, even if I knew when it was.
Some people that run my HS FB page must have thought of that, too, because they experimented with a “multi-year” reunion. But they exposed the problem: how do you divide the years? They wanted a Class of 1970-1980 and a 1981-1990-ish division. As a child of the exact middle, either one would be a mess. I don’t know anybody earlier than 1976. I’d have exactly zero to talk to them about. Same with younger than 1985. I’m not sure how to resolve that, or if there even is a way without having a ton of reunions, but at least they thought about it.
I always said that if I were still perpendicular when the 50th rolled around I might attend, but my 50th got blown out by COVID. I later saw a picture on Facebook that indicated a small group got together informally after the pandemic had cooled down. The post said they “tried to reach” classmates, but as I and several of my friends/classmates are all on Facebook and none of us were invited, they must not have tried very hard. My 55th would be this year. I might go should there be one.
I had an unsettling experience at the 20th, the last one I attended. First, none of my small group of friends were there. Second, the band was terrible and based on the music they played seemed to think we were the class of 1960 instead of 1970. Third, a teacher who had been our class advisor was there, an English teacher I fondly remembered who had been especially encouraging to me in my Senior year.
I made it a point to say hello to her. She looked me up and down and said, bluntly, “I don’t remember you.” I replied that she could hardly be expected to remember a student from 20 years ago and plowed ahead by telling her that I had indeed gone into radio/TV and mentioned a term paper I had written about the history of rock & roll music that she had been ecstatic about. She looked at me again and said, “I don’t remember you AT ALL!” and turned her back on me. It was just so weird. How tough would it have been for her to fake it for a couple of minutes?
I went back to our table and said to my wife “Let’s go,” and swore never to attend another reunion.
That teacher died a few years later. I wonder if she was in early-stage Alzheimer’s, which would explain her odd reaction. Some time later I was looking at my Senior yearbook and saw what she had written to me next to her picture.
She said, “I will always remember you.”
I’m one of those people who generally never looks back. I left high school 60 years ago and stayed in touch with exactly nobody. I happened to be living in Anchorage again when the 40th came up and curiosity got the better of me, so I volunteered to contact people and I attended. It was underwhelming. Most all of them never changed, other than in appearance. The self-important ones were still that way, and the everyday folks were still themselves. I was one of the few who changed a lot, as I went from shy and self-conscious to assertive and confident over the years. The 60th is this year and it’s not worth buying a plane ticket to do it again.
For me it would be…
Large high school, across country.
Lots of: I have no clue who you are. Or I recognize your name.
Some: I think you were in my geometry class. We never interacted.
And: You were in my debate class, we talked a few times, all I remember is you had a crush on a teen heartthrob
I had a long distance crush on you. There was a song that reminds me of you. I hear it often and when I do, I remember you (and will get a “that’s creepy” response)
You were my school bully - I’m not sure where that would go.
Maybe there are 10 or so people who I really care to talk to, but I have made no effort to reach out to them.
So… I’ll pass.
I passed on my 40th. It was held less than an easy 15 minute drive from my home, and was only $75. I have not been in contact with a single person from HS in the past 30 years. The reason I passed was because no one I remembered was listed as intending to go.
I was disappointed after to see photos showing that many of my best buddies from the track team had attended. It woulda been fun to see them.
Next one is in 3 years. At 68, I imagine fewer folk will be attending, and those who do will be - uh - more decrepit. If it is similarly close and convenient, I will consider it. But I think I missed my opportunity.
I was kinda-sorta homeschooled so did not graduate high school. My one friend from my high school years I have occasional contact with; last month we met up for lunch for the first time in a decade.
My wife attended her 10-year reunion and I of course was obligated to go with her. I knew nobody there and felt uncomfortable trying to socialize with a bunch of strangers I had nothing in common with so I basically spent the evening sitting at table in the corner of the restaurant trying my best to will time to move faster. The wife of one of the attendees obviously was in the same boat as me and felt similarly but somehow ended up sitting at my table. We spent two hours making small talk while our respective spouses caught up with their former classmates. Apparently sitting in the corner of a crowded Mexican restaurant chatting with someone I wasn’t married to was quite scandalous and in the following days the text chatter – this was before social media was popular – regarding the two of us was quite accusatory. I don’t even remember her name and had no desire to stay in any kind of contact with her after that night. My wife thought the whole thing was quite humorous.
I don’t know why my wife attended. All the friends she had in high school were a year ahead of her and didn’t attend the same reunion. She has described her high school as very cliquish and she was definitely not in any of the “in” groups. For the most part she does not have pleasant memories of high school. Maybe she wanted to see what a shit show everyone’s life had become? That reunion was nearly 20 years ago now and she’s never discussed attending another one.
I went to and enjoyed my first HS reunion, but we all still knew each other. When my 50th was looming in 2004 (yes I graduated in 1954) I kept looking on the school alumni site which regularly mentioned upcoming reunions, but not mine. I finally found out accidentally that there was a reunion planned, but it was privately organized by the in-group. I did wangle an invitation, but it would have meant a trip to Philly (that was okay; I had a son living there then) and $500 and I passed. I doubt I would have enjoyed it anyway, since the people I might have wanted to reconnect with weren’t in the in-group anyway.
My DIL once remarked that the only reason for going to reunions was to be able to say, “See, you all thought I was a non-entity and now look at me.”
Last June would have been my 70th, but I doubt there was anything organized.
I transferred into my last HS 4 months before graduation. I got an invite & tossed it. They mean nothing to me, & I don’t even recall the building.
i ALSO got an invite from a Junior High I did not graduated from . My folks pulled me out of there, because of the massive violence & bullying. I never wanted to hear from them & I wish I hadn’t.
Class of 1986.
I wasn’t a jock or popular kid. I had, maybe, two friends. I touch base with one of them via email every now and then.
I have no reason to go to a HS reunion.
My 50th was last year. There was a tour of the school buildings as they are now, I liked that very much. There was golf, which I didn’t participate in. And there was a nice party, with lots of finger food and a bar. ''that’s when we really talked around. I ran into one guy who was a diner in the production of Hello, Dolly. He is still remembered for getting into trouble because he snuck in red wine to drink, instead of red water.
There were people I liked well enough in high school, and it wasn’t miserable or anything, but the next crowd I fell in with was much more interesting and formative. A year or two out of high school and I had little in common with most of the high school crowd.
I guess school reunions are a bit of a US thing?
At least, I have never heard of them here in the UK… certainly never received any invitations.
Has anyone else in Britain encountered them?
They had this for my 30th, but that was the one that I decided not to attend, because the 25th wasn’t all that great.
The 25th had different events, so there was an event only for the alumni, which I enjoyed. There was an event for alumni and partners, which I didn’t enjoy as much, because I didn’t know any of the partners, and neither did my husband, and it was weird. Then there was an even for alumni and their families, which we didn’t attend since we don’t have kids and it was basically for the locals who kept up with each other.
Reunions make more sense for the people who stay in the area, or have strong ties to the area. For me, I’d rather get together with the people I want to see. I don’t need to see the others.
For the record, my class was 400 people. The Facebook group has 250 members, which isn’t bad, but the only posts in the last 6 months is somebody trying to sell school t-shirts.
About 20 people went to 35th, which was just meeting up at a bar. Very laid back.
My high school reunions are the opposite. The locals who never went anywhere did not to come. It’s mostly alumni who left the area, but are within driving distance, that participate.
This thread made me curious so I looked at the page for my 40th (two years ago) and it was also t-shirts.
High school reunion pages are plagued with people who will post something like “say YES to stay active!” and also “buy this t-shirt!!!” Our administrator blocks them, but then more spring up.
There have been reunions for the high school I briefly attended in Canada.