# Hilarious and terrible mixed metaphors **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 22, 2012, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298 "2012-08-22T19:12:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Alias](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e4f/32.png) [@Alias](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alias)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/1 "2012-08-22T19:12:02Z")
I just heard someone say, “Don’t bite the gift hand in the mouth,” with total seriousness. I’ve also heard, “It’s a doggie dog world,” and “Tic for tac.” Have you ever heard someone mix or mangle a metaphor? I need your examples, because I can’t stop laughing about this. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/2 "2012-08-22T19:23:04Z")
Now I want to tell someone not to bite the horse that feeds you. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/3 "2012-08-22T19:24:07Z")
Not as dramatically mangled, but my wife has a habit of saying someone’s going or talking “ten to the dozen”, and gets quite indignant when I point out that would mean the exact opposite of what she intended. ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/4 "2012-08-22T19:52:02Z")
I once overheard a man saying, “Well, now the ball is in his lap!” Yes, it certainly is. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/5 "2012-08-22T20:00:43Z")
I heard a buddy once say, the morning after a long night of drinking, “Man, I’m hung over like a horse!” ---
**Author:** ![Jumpbass](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jumpbass/32/147_2.png) [@Jumpbass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jumpbass)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/6 "2012-08-22T20:06:28Z")
I love mangling them on purpose. “We’re just two ships that go bump in the night.” “Half of one, six dozen of another.” ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/7 "2012-08-22T20:07:28Z")
I once remarked that something was as likely to happen as “a camel passing through the knee of an idol.” ---
**Author:** ![Paintcharge](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paintcharge/32/7946_2.png) [@Paintcharge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paintcharge)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/8 "2012-08-22T20:12:31Z")
Always been fond of: “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.” ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/9 "2012-08-22T20:21:53Z")
> [@freckafree](#): > > I once overheard a man saying, “Well, now the ball is in his lap!” Yes, it certainly is. You can say that again. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/10 "2012-08-22T20:44:57Z")
> [@Jumpbass](#): > > I love mangling them on purpose. My favorites are “It’s not rocket surgery,” and “Does the pope shit in the woods?”. I’ve see both on these boards, especially the former. ---
**Author:** ![Slypork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@Slypork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slypork)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/11 "2012-08-22T20:53:02Z")
> [@Jumpbass](#): > > I love mangling them on purpose. > > “We’re just two ships that go bump in the night.” > > “Half of one, six dozen of another.” My wife always says, “Half a dozen of one, half a dozen of the other.” Huh? She’s a smart lady but a real font of malaprops. One time she was talking about Kate Middleton and said she was “a very stealth woman” when she meant to say “svelte”. Another time she said that no matter how angry she was she would never “cut off her nose and spike her face” (good advice no matter how you put it”. Then there was the time our friend’s son came home after he had run off with a girl. She talked about how “the probable son” had returned. I love her but sometimes conversations can be very unusual. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/12 "2012-08-22T20:54:43Z")
> [@JKellyMap](#): > > My favorites are “It’s not rocket surgery,” and “Does the pope shit in the woods?”. > > I’ve see both on these boards, especially the former. So have I. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/13 "2012-08-22T20:59:04Z")
> [@JKellyMap](#): > > My favorites are “It’s not rocket surgery,” Yep. Also “Mind like a steel sieve.” FTR, I invented both of those. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/14 "2012-08-22T21:00:38Z")
I recently mixed up “lies like a trooper” and “swears like a sailor,” to get “lies like a sailor,” which my sailor friend resented just a bit. Oops. ---
**Author:** ![markdash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@markdash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markdash)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/15 "2012-08-22T21:07:21Z")
I am a fan of saying that someone is “not the smartest knife in the drawer.” ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/16 "2012-08-22T21:16:17Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > I recently mixed up “lies like a trooper” and “swears like a sailor,” to get “lies like a sailor,” which my sailor friend resented just a bit. Oops. :dubious: I never heard any of those. Now, “swears like a trooper,” that’s a thing. (You get bonus points, though, for not putting “trouper”.) ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/17 "2012-08-22T21:23:35Z")
Smokes like a fish. Drinks like a chimney. Make like a tree and get out of here! (from Back to the Future) ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/18 "2012-08-22T21:26:29Z")
About 20 years ago, in an interview after an NBA win, I heard a player say, “After all the chips fall, the cream rises to the top of the crop!” ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/19 "2012-08-22T21:59:26Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > Not as dramatically mangled, but my wife has a habit of saying someone’s going or talking “ten to the dozen”, and gets quite indignant when I point out that would mean the exact opposite of what she intended. 😕 What is she going for? ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/20 "2012-08-22T22:04:59Z")
> [@Paintcharge](#): > > Always been fond of: > > “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.” In a similar vein, a personal favourite (not mine - stole it from Pratchett): “we’ve passed a lot of water under bridges since then”. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298.md?page=2)