# Hilarious and terrible mixed metaphors **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 22, 2012, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298 "2012-08-22T19:12:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/21 "2012-08-22T22:09:38Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#): > > 😕 What is she going for? [Nineteen to the dozen](http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/nineteen+to+the+dozen). ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/22 "2012-08-22T22:20:42Z")
My grandfather had a saying: You can lead a horse to drink, but you can’t make him water. ---
**Author:** ![kyogi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/51bf81/32.png) [@kyogi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kyogi)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/23 "2012-08-22T22:23:20Z")
Once said to the father of a gal I was suiting, “My honors are intentional.” he didn’t get it. I didn’t get her. ---
**Author:** ![kyogi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/51bf81/32.png) [@kyogi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kyogi)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/24 "2012-08-22T22:24:37Z")
Ah! Kill two birds in one bush. ---
**Author:** ![kferr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@kferr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kferr)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/25 "2012-08-23T12:26:52Z")
I worked for a guy who did this a lot. The only one I can remember is “we don’t want the dog wagging the cart”. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/26 "2012-08-23T12:37:07Z")
I once heard a lizard say “Time is fun when you’re having flies.” ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/27 "2012-08-23T12:41:13Z")
\ And what about those numbskulls who say “You’ve got another thing coming” and “I could care less”? 🙂 \ ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/28 "2012-08-23T12:55:36Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > And what about those numbskulls who say “You’ve got another thing coming” and “I could care less”? 🙂 The thing is, “You’ve got another thing coming” is perfectly legitimate. It makes far more sense than “think.” And people who don’t get that are a few sandwiches short of a Christmas tree. ---
**Author:** ![kyogi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/51bf81/32.png) [@kyogi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kyogi)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/29 "2012-08-23T13:30:05Z")
Time flies when you’re having rum! ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/30 "2012-08-23T13:56:29Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > The thing is, “You’ve got another thing coming” is perfectly legitimate. It makes far more sense than “think.” It might make sense (actually to me it doesn’t at all), but it is undeniably a corruption of the original saying, which only makes sense with “think”. Anyway that’s been done to death before
 A couple from the sporting world: “I need to pull a rabbit out of the fire here” - John Francome “I thought we started very, very brightly but the Achilles’ heel which has bitten us in the backside all year has stood out like a sore thumb.” (possibly deliberate!) - Andy King ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/31 "2012-08-23T13:59:01Z")
One I heard on the radio, and have used as one of my signature files since - Carl Banks on a NY Giants broadcast: “If it ain’t broke, don’t break it.” ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/32 "2012-08-23T14:36:44Z")
My favorite is from a real employee-of-the-month poster I saw hanging on a wall. It included a quote from her supervisor: “Suzie can always be counted on to take the ball and roll with it.” I love how the mistake turns a very simple straightforward expression about proactivity and progress and makes it into something so passive. I always imagine someone on a giant ball rolling down a a dirt hill getting squashed every rotation. ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Clanger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@Small\_Clanger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Clanger)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/33 "2012-08-23T14:38:40Z")
Some idiot politician (probably) here described some situation as “standing on the precipice of a runaway train” which prompted this response from Mitch Benn on Radio 4’s The Now Show: [The Devil and a Hard Place](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vVuVn1Yb8A) ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/34 "2012-08-23T14:46:41Z")
I’ll exclaim: “you say potato, I say potato”, pronouncing potato exactly the same way each time. I’ll even sing it that way. I annoy a lot of people. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/35 "2012-08-23T15:19:02Z")
Had a manager, who frequently used biz-speak metaphors, say “How do you eat an elephant? You start with the low-hanging fruit”. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/36 "2012-08-23T15:21:05Z")
Eww. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/37 "2012-08-23T15:28:37Z")
Back in high school, our English teacher showed us an old essay in which the writer described “the virgin forest, pregnant with wildlife.” THAT was the ultimate mixed (and contradictory) metaphor. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/38 "2012-08-23T15:28:47Z")
> [@freckafree](#): > > I once overheard a man saying, “Well, now the ball is in his lap!” Yes, it certainly is. Only one? :eek: Intentional one: “dude thinks he’s la crĂȘme de la crĂȘme but merde floats too.” ---
**Author:** ![mmmbeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mmmbeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mmmbeer)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/39 "2012-08-23T15:59:07Z")
I’m invented a bush in the bed is worth two in the bar! ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298/40 "2012-08-23T16:56:50Z")
A nice old lady who used to work for my grandparents: “I use my head for something besides a coathanger!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-and-terrible-mixed-metaphors/632298.md?page=3)