# Hilarious one-liners from B Movies (or worse) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 29, 2014, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566 "2014-05-29T16:26:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/21 "2014-05-30T18:03:48Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > All I remember is that there was a movie on cable a lot in the 80s, or maybe early 90s. The guy who had played Cliff Claven on Cheers was some kind of repairman. > > “Looks like you’ve got yourself a portal to another dimension. I’ve seen this kind of thing before.” _House II_. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/22 "2014-05-30T18:09:08Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > All I remember is that there was a movie on cable a lot in the 80s, or maybe early 90s. The guy who had played Cliff Claven on Cheers was some kind of repairman. > > “Looks like you’ve got yourself a portal to another dimension. I’ve seen this kind of thing before.” “You’re going to need some special tools for that.” [And he goes to his toolbox and gets a ball of twine (for the labyrinth) and a cutlass (for the bad guys).] ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/23 "2014-05-30T19:14:14Z")
I remember laughing my ass off at that movie, but I was kind of a pothead. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/24 "2014-05-30T19:42:34Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by **a ditzy female college student** > I’m trying to decide if I should major in Feminist Studies or Home Economics. In _ **Harold and Maude** _ (a _good_ movie!), the line was “Poli Sci, minoring in Home Ec.” :o ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/25 "2014-05-30T19:47:09Z")
My favorite: In _ **Land of the Pharaohs** _, the High Priest is showing the young hero dude around the inside of a new pyramid. **YHD:** What are _those_? **HP:** (_Gesticulating grandly_) Those are the great Solar Boats in which our dear beloved Pharaoh shall travel across the sky with the sun god Ra during the day, and return to his tomb at night on the river which runs under the world. **YHD:** (_Trying hard not to laugh_) I see! ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/26 "2014-05-30T20:49:21Z")
It’s not really intended to be a B-movie, but almost every line John Wayne says in _The Conquerer_ is roll-on-the-floor awful. “I feel this Tartar woman is for me, and my blood says, 'take her!'There are moments for wisdom and moments when I listen to my blood; my blood says, take this Tartar woman[, Pilgrim].” ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/27 "2014-05-30T22:56:15Z")
From The Hills Have Eyes: “Mm. Tenderloin baby.” ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/28 "2014-05-30T23:06:06Z")
[What do you say I… take you home and eat your pussy?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1GA4qcbwjI) ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/29 "2014-05-30T23:19:16Z")
“Watch out for snakes” was already made into a running joke especially because of who said it. ---
**Author:** ![Sister\_Vigilante](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Sister\_Vigilante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sister_Vigilante)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/30 "2014-05-31T00:02:59Z")
Anyone seen Zardoz? [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/YOROvO2fxTc/hqdefault.jpg "Zardoz Speaks") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOROvO2fxTc) Wait for it. Try not to be drinking any beverages during this time. ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/31 "2014-05-31T00:07:23Z")
I want to make sure everyone knows that “Top Secret” and “They Live” are good movies. ---
**Author:** ![Sister\_Vigilante](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Sister\_Vigilante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sister_Vigilante)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/32 "2014-05-31T00:48:52Z")
Agreed. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/33 "2014-05-31T01:56:10Z")
Invasion USA, Chuck Norris: “I’ll hit you with so many rights you’re gonna beg for a left!” ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/34 "2014-05-31T02:37:32Z")
So many from **Roadhouse** , but my favorites are probably “Pain don’t hurt.” and “I used to fuck guys like you in Prison!” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/35 "2014-05-31T04:23:32Z")
> [@Dale\_Sams](#): > > “Watch out for snakes!” Egah! Yeah, Misties had fun with that one. “He TRIED to kill me with a forklift!” ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/36 "2014-05-31T04:34:10Z")
“My God, it’s his ear”, from _The Incredible Melting Man_. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/37 "2014-05-31T04:47:06Z")
I’ll never forget Christopher Lee’s immortal line from “Star Crash.” The heroes are trapped inside a planet that is about to explode. Seconds remain before everyone is dead. Then Lee, the space emperor declares majestically, “Imperial battleship … STOP THE FLOW OF TIME!” (There has been no mention of any such capability prior to that in the movie, it’s a complete Deus Ex Machina.) I still crack up when I think about it. Now if you liked Taur the Mighty, its sequel, Thor and the Amazon Women is even better. It has a scene where a man who is hit in the head by a poisoned bolo is saved when his buddy sucks the poison out of his lower leg. It has many scenes objecting to the rule of women. it has the Irregular Polygons of Doom. I cannot remember any specific lines offhand but the whole movie is one huge, absurd mess. I’ve written a review, gonna put it in a spoiler box because there is one NSFW image in it: [Thor and the Amazon Women](http://www.bondagerotica.com/articles/sword_and_sandal_movies/thor-and-the-amazon-women/thor_and_the_amazon_women.html). Best of all, the movie is in the public domain. You can watch it[here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2Eukq0noJo) [spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![CoastalMaineiac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@CoastalMaineiac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CoastalMaineiac)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/38 "2014-05-31T13:53:49Z")
I don’t know if the Mel Brooks film _Spaceballs_ counts as a B Movie or not, but I did love that one line when they’re going to go to “ludicrous speed.” “What’s the matter Colonel Sanders? Chicken?” ---
**Author:** ![Kuru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@Kuru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuru)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2014, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/39 "2014-06-01T10:44:42Z")
> [@Evil\_Captor](#): > > I’ll never forget Christopher Lee’s immortal line from “Star Crash.” Nitpick: Christopher Plumber. A truly dreadful film. One of my all-time favourites! ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2014, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/40 "2014-06-01T15:08:36Z")
TIME FOR GO TO BED! the immortal Tor Johnson… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566.md?page=3)