# Hilarious one-liners from B Movies (or worse) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 29, 2014, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566 "2014-05-29T16:26:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![MrSBaldrick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/87869e/32.png) [@MrSBaldrick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrSBaldrick)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2014, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/61 "2014-06-17T23:40:14Z")
In the truly awesome:confused: _Adventures of Ford Fairlane_, Colleen (Priscilla Presley) has woken our hero early in the morning (probably about 10.30am), and he arises from his bed with, uh, morning wood (so to speak). Priscilla observes this which leads to the following classic gem: Ford: Oh, don’t mind Stanley. Colleen: Stanley? Ford: Named after the power drill! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/62 "2014-06-18T01:22:47Z")
> [@MrSBaldrick](#): > > Ford: Oh, don’t mind Stanley. > Colleen: Stanley? > Ford: Named after the power drill! “Down, Stanley! Down – ROSEANNE BARR NAKED!” ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/63 "2014-06-18T02:34:21Z")
I love that movie. “Come on, down boy. Down Stanley. Roseanne Barr naked. Gone.” ---
**Author:** ![Wolf333](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf333/32/3460_2.png) [@Wolf333](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolf333)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/64 "2014-06-18T02:56:41Z")
Just about anything from _Repo Man_ [Let’s go get sushi and not pay](http://youtu.be/qGzkQAIHTTY) [You eat a lot of acid, Miller, back in the hippie days?](http://youtu.be/JKobmM2OnDc) ---
**Author:** ![skeptic53](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@skeptic53](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/skeptic53)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/65 "2014-06-21T23:12:02Z")
From “The Tanks Are Coming”: German soldier to Yank wearing German uniform in order to sneak behind German lines: “Sprechen sie Deutsch?” “Jawohl, droppen sie dead!” ---
**Author:** ![Reeses\_Monkey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reeses_monkey/32/2885_2.png) [@Reeses\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeses_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/66 "2014-06-22T01:58:29Z")
> [@Why\_Child](#): > > For terrible and hilarious, I recommend _**TerrorVision (1986)**_ > > Summary of main characters: The mother and father, played by Mary Woronov and Gerrit Graham, are swingers. They have a teenage daughter named Suzy, very 80’s punk (think “Desperately Seeking Susan.”) Grampa lives with them, and he is a jewel. Crazy survivalist type. Their son, Sherman, is probably the most normal of them, although he’s been a bit tainted by Grampa. Suzy is dating a boy named O.D. who comes with all the accessories, mullet haircut, leather jacket, studded glove. > 😕 I don’t know anyone IRL that has seen it, that is, before I had them watch it. :eek: 😃 Wow. I thought my brother and I were the only people on Earth who had seen that one. Nifty bit you forgot: That’s [Chad “Tommy Westphall” Allen](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0020354/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t4) as the dorky son, Sherman! (I wonder if he saw this in his snowglobe, too?) For more amazing quotes you must watch [The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lost_Skeleton_of_Cadavra)! You get such gems as “Ranger Brad, I’m a scientist. I don’t believe in anything.” “Must find Amish Terrarium…” “Seriously, Betty, you know what this meteor could mean to science. If we find it, and it’s real, it could mean a lot. It could mean actual advances in the field of science.” And the best one of all, “I SLEEP NOW!” ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/67 "2014-06-22T02:09:57Z")
> [@Reeses\_Monkey](#): > > Wow. I thought my brother and I were the only people on Earth who had seen that one. Nifty bit you forgot: That’s [Chad “Tommy Westphall” Allen](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0020354/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t4) as the dorky son, Sherman! (I wonder if he saw this in his snowglobe, too?) And, of course, Jon “Uncle Rico” Gries as O.D. ---
**Author:** ![danhanegan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb9ed0/32.png) [@danhanegan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danhanegan)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/68 "2014-06-22T02:47:27Z")
> [@Johnny\_Angel](#): > > Yeah, it makes a lot more sense if you read the novel. Also: > > “Xello, xoney, I vant to speak to John Bigbooty at Yoyodyne propulsion-a systems!”\* > > “Laugh while you can, monkey boy!” > > - Where ‘x’ is a velar fricative. There’s a novel? I had no idea. [Wanders off to amazon] ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/69 "2014-06-23T19:29:21Z")
> [@skeptic53](#): > > From “The Tanks Are Coming”: > > German soldier to Yank wearing German uniform in order to sneak behind German lines: > > “Sprechen sie Deutsch?” > > “Jawohl, droppen sie dead!” From _ **Counterpoint** _, an all-but-forgotten WWII drama with Charleton Heston and Maximillian Schell: **INFILTRATOR #1:** (_Misdirecting traffic during the Battle of the Bulge_) Hey, USO! Give my regards to Betty Grable! **INFILTRATOR #2:** (_Puzzled_) Wer ist diese “Betty Grable”? **INFILTRATOR #1:** Sie ist eine schoene amerikanische Film-Star! What the _hell_ kind of lame-ass infiltrator would have to ask his buddy who Betty Grable was? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/70 "2014-06-23T22:22:56Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > From _ **Counterpoint** _, an all-but-forgotten WWII drama with Charleton Heston and Maximillian Schell: > > **INFILTRATOR #1:** (_Misdirecting traffic during the Battle of the Bulge_) Hey, USO! Give my regards to Betty Grable! > > **INFILTRATOR #2:** (_Puzzled_) Wer ist diese “Betty Grable”? > > **INFILTRATOR #1:** **Sie ist eine schoene amerikanische Film-Star!** > > What the _hell_ kind of lame-ass infiltrator would have to ask his buddy who Betty Grable was? :dubious: I read that in my head with a very bad Arnold voice. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/71 "2014-06-23T22:56:39Z")
See this? This…is…my…BOOM STICK! ---
**Author:** ![HelloKindWorld](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e79b87/32.png) [@HelloKindWorld](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HelloKindWorld)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/72 "2014-06-24T02:47:13Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > See this? This…is…my…BOOM STICK! Yes! I can’t believe this thread made it until then without mention of the Evil Dead series. I really have to watch those movies again… been a while. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/73 "2014-06-24T05:07:47Z")
Who’s laughing now! ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2014, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/74 "2014-06-26T20:28:31Z")
> [@Reeses\_Monkey](#): > > Wow. I thought my brother and I were the only people on Earth who had seen that one. Nifty bit you forgot: That’s [Chad “Tommy Westphall” Allen](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0020354/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t4) as the dorky son, Sherman! (I wonder if he saw this in his snowglobe, too?) Nope, I’ve seen it, too. Saw it in the theater, in fact, and it’s currently on my DVR at home. It’s just so damn _goofy_. The backyard that is an obvious studio set, the wacky neighbor, and you left out Diane Franklin ( **Better Off Dead** , **The Last American Virgin** ) turning in some atrocious acting as the daughter, acting so poor that it pretty well had to be deliberate. > [@](#): > > For more amazing quotes you must watch [The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lost_Skeleton_of_Cadavra)! You get such gems as “Ranger Brad, I’m a scientist. I don’t believe in anything.” “Must find Amish Terrarium…” “Seriously, Betty, you know what this meteor could mean to science. If we find it, and it’s real, it could mean a lot. It could mean actual advances in the field of science.” And the best one of all, “I SLEEP NOW!” Love that series, although you didn’t mention some of my favorite lines: Ranger Brad: We take our horrible mutilations seriously around these parts. Animala: Always agree. Just last night I watched **Dark and Stormy Night** from the same creative group, a parody of the locked-in-a-haunted-house whodunnits of yesteryear. Loads of great character names in that one, such as Mrs. Cupcupboard, Gunny Gunny Luck Cakes, Broca Santechow…but my favorite has to be Dr. Van von Vandervon. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/75 "2014-06-27T00:33:28Z")
“That was _TOO_ close!” -Plan 9 (again!) ---
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/76 "2014-06-27T01:37:56Z")
> [@Sparky812](#): > > OK, so while going through my old MST3K episodes, I was watching the infamous “Cave Dwellers” when I remembered that the credits were superimposed over blurred scenes from another equally terrible movie entitled _Taur, the Mighty_ \*(\*\*Taur, il re della forza bruta) (1963) \*Google search ensued, which returned this gem of a clip. [“The change in your FACE!!”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7vkZQ-z8Ko) …that makes[this scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f27AhB-jI0k) from Community even funnier! ---
**Author:** ![franz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@franz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/franz)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/77 "2014-07-01T11:35:51Z")
> [@Manduck](#): > > Invasion USA, Chuck Norris: “I’ll hit you with so many rights you’re gonna beg for a left!” i remember this one as wel… epic… ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/78 "2014-07-02T06:49:21Z")
I love this one I came across the other day “It’s impossible for anyone to grow more than 30 feet tall!” _The 30 Foot Bride Of Candy Rock_ ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/79 "2014-07-02T13:01:33Z")
So, my friends and I hang out and watch “bad” movies from time to time, and once, the choice on deck was Renny Harlin’s Mind Hunters. Now, it’s cheesy, and ridiculous, but fun in a quirky, action-suspense kinda way. For those of you who haven’t seen it, it’s about a bunch of FBI Profilers in training on an island, isolated, and they begin to be killed, one by one, by a predator who uses their weaknesses against them. The one most inclined to lead is tricked into a trap because of that impulse, for instance. So near the end, it’s down to three - the killer, our female lead, and the main red herring, played by LL Cool J. After a tense standoff, the female lead manages to shoot the killer, ending the threat, and LL Cool J earns a goddamn Oscar by saying this with a straight face : "I guess we found out his weakness: bullets. " I applauded. ---
**Author:** ![FlyingRat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/59ef9b/32.png) [@FlyingRat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRat)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566/80 "2014-07-02T18:56:49Z")
One of my favorite terrible movies is _Kung Pow_, which I saw in the theater in all its terrible glory. [QUOTE=Master Tang] Let your anger be as a monkey in a piñata… hiding amongst the candy… hoping the kids don’t break through with the stick! [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Chosen One] Killing is wrong. And bad. There should be a new, stronger word for killing. Like badwrong, or badong. Yes, killing is badong. From this moment, I will stand for the opposite of killing: gnodab. [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Wimp Lo] Oh yeah? Then try My Nuts To Your Fist style! [/QUOTE] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-one-liners-from-b-movies-or-worse/689566.md?page=5)