# Hilarious - Surviving Whole Foods **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 28, 2014, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-surviving-whole-foods/705820 "2014-11-28T13:23:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2014, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-surviving-whole-foods/705820/21 "2014-11-30T19:14:23Z")
> [@drachillix](#): > > Just whip out the latest model iPhone and display your Peta donation app. Its the secret sign. So I guess I shouldn’t be wearing my rabbit fur coat in there, huh… (just kiddin’) ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2014, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-surviving-whole-foods/705820/22 "2014-11-30T20:07:45Z")
> [@Ravenman](#): > > [Yep.](http://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/about-our-products/quality-standards/food-ingredient) I’m glad I checked the list before I went there last week to find foie gras. I don’t shop at Whole Foods - but I shop at three different hippie natural foods coops for people who think WF is too corporate 🙂 (and as co-ops, they carry a lot of the same stuff for a lot cheaper). We keep different shopping lists. There is the “normal grocery store” list - that has things like plastic ziploc bags and Campbells Tomato Soup on it. There is the “Costco list” that has things that we can buy in Costco sized bulk. There is the “high end grocery store” list - that has things like natural meats - because while the coops carry meat, they don’t tend to carry much of it and its very expensive. Finally, the coop list, for organic and/or locally grown fruit and vegetables, more gluten free/vegetarian options, and some hippie prepared foods. Its lead to some odd “I’m running to the grocery store, do you need anything” conversations. “I can’t get Jif at the coop, do you need peanut butter bad enough to want that natural crap” or “the selection of juice is way better at the coop - I’m going there next week - can you wait or do you want Ocean Spray?” Foie Gras would be on the high end grocery store list - not going to find it at any of the other places I shop. ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2014, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-surviving-whole-foods/705820/23 "2014-11-30T20:19:06Z")
I remember the days when the original Whole Foods Market was a hippie health food store in Austin, Texas. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2014, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-surviving-whole-foods/705820/24 "2014-11-30T20:24:57Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > I don’t shop at Whole Foods - but I shop at three different hippie natural foods coops for people who think WF is too corporate 🙂 (and as co-ops, they carry a lot of the same stuff for a lot cheaper). > > We keep different shopping lists. There is the “normal grocery store” list - that has things like plastic ziploc bags and Campbells Tomato Soup on it. There is the “Costco list” that has things that we can buy in Costco sized bulk. There is the “high end grocery store” list - that has things like natural meats - because while the coops carry meat, they don’t tend to carry much of it and its very expensive. Finally, the coop list, for organic and/or locally grown fruit and vegetables, more gluten free/vegetarian options, and some hippie prepared foods. > > Its lead to some odd “I’m running to the grocery store, do you need anything” conversations. “I can’t get Jif at the coop, do you need peanut butter bad enough to want that natural crap” or “the selection of juice is way better at the coop - I’m going there next week - can you wait or do you want Ocean Spray?” > > Foie Gras would be on the high end grocery store list - not going to find it at any of the other places I shop. We have a hippie co-op we have been going to for about 20 years, and an actual butcher, and then for the common crap we go to the Navy commisary, BJ’s wholesale club and a local farmers market. The people at the coop are definitely cool, nothing like the jackasses at Whole Paycheck… [URL=“[http://www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/](http://www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/)”] ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2014, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-surviving-whole-foods/705820/25 "2014-11-30T20:36:36Z")
Huh weird. The one in Baltimore just feels like an upscale grocery story. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2014, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-surviving-whole-foods/705820/26 "2014-11-30T23:44:38Z")
> [@furryman](#): > > Huh weird. The one in Baltimore just feels like an upscale grocery story. As do the ones in New York City. I have never gotten any kind of “judgey” feeling from anyone at Whole Foods ever. It’s just an upscale grocery store. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-surviving-whole-foods/705820/27 "2014-12-01T00:03:48Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > [Appropriate music video here. It still makes me laugh.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UFc1pr2yUU&index=34&list=FLzjh3pdDFbJNkFZ8LIKis9w) That was excellent; thank you very much for the link! ---
**Author:** ![BrassyPhrase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea666f/32.png) [@BrassyPhrase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrassyPhrase)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-surviving-whole-foods/705820/28 "2014-12-01T01:07:30Z")
> [@CheshireKat](#): > > I remember the days when the original Whole Foods Market was a hippie health food store in Austin, Texas. 🙂 I was just in Austin for Thanksgiving and was pleased to see that Wheatsville Co-op was still kicking. ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-surviving-whole-foods/705820/29 "2014-12-01T01:55:01Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > As do the ones in New York City. I have never gotten any kind of “judgey” feeling from anyone at Whole Foods ever. It’s just an upscale grocery store. Me neither. I think people fell judged because so many people who shop there are in really good shape. You can’t toss a banana in the Boulder store without hitting an Olympic athlete. (Exaggerating, but only a little.) ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-surviving-whole-foods/705820/30 "2014-12-01T02:02:44Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > As do the ones in New York City. I have never gotten any kind of “judgey” feeling from anyone at Whole Foods ever. It’s just an upscale grocery store. No, for that you have to go to the Park Slope Food Co-op. ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-surviving-whole-foods/705820/31 "2014-12-01T02:12:22Z")
> [@Lamar\_Mundane](#): > > Me neither. I think people fell judged because so many people who shop there are in really good shape. Excuse me? When I shopped at the Berkeley Whole Foods I was in great shape, and also dressed nicely since I would walk there from work to pick up lunch. To be fair, I encountered “the attitude” all over that neighborhood, not just in Whole Foods. It’s one reason it’s called Berzerkeley. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-surviving-whole-foods/705820/32 "2014-12-01T02:54:08Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > Holy shit. How precious is that? Foie gras is illegal in the entire state of California, nothing precious about it. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-surviving-whole-foods/705820/33 "2014-12-01T03:56:05Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > The last time I went to Whole Paycheck I asked for talcum powder. The clerk responded in disbelief, “this is Whole Foods!!!” > > Who knew? I was wondering how long this thread would exist before someone referred to it that way. I used to go to one sometimes when I lived in the St. Louis region. Never had any bizarre experiences there, nor did I at the one I patronized in Madison, WI. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-surviving-whole-foods/705820/34 "2014-12-01T04:45:27Z")
> [@Saintly\_Loser](#): > > No, for that you have to go to the Park Slope Food Co-op. As a resident of Brooklyn, I can confirm that the Park Slope Food Co-op is composed principally of all the worst people in the world. _In the world!_. Namaste. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Little\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Pig)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-surviving-whole-foods/705820/35 "2014-12-01T08:59:53Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > WF really has a banned list of ingredients? Yes they do and [here it is.](http://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/about-our-products/quality-standards/food-ingredient) High fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated fats are the ones I try to avoid regardless of where I buy my food. ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-surviving-whole-foods/705820/36 "2014-12-01T10:02:17Z")
What percentage of Whole Foods stores are like the ones in the Kelly MacLean Huff Post article? My local one (in Silver Spring, Maryland) isn’t like that at all. Neither are those that several other posters in this thread go to. I wonder if the things described in the article are typical of that many Whole Foods stores. I wonder if MacLean isn’t simply making things up because she thinks they’re funny, since she is after all a stand-up comic. The one that I go to has a typical mix of ethnicities and income classes from the neighborhood (and that mix is quite interracial and isn’t upscale). I’ve never heard an employee make a snide comment in reply to a question. The lines aren’t very long. I’ve never seen a driver being careless about pedestrians in the parking lot. Perhaps things like kombucha, gluten-free bread, and super-expensive beauty creams are sold somewhere in the store, but I haven’t noticed them in all my time shopping there. I go to the Whole Foods because they have a nice selection of cheeses. I pick up a couple of cheeses twice a month for meetings of clubs I belong to where we all bring a snack each time. I occasionally pick up other snack items too. The prices are mostly higher than in other local stores but not horrendously so. Visit a Whole Foods store before you make a decision whether it’s worthwhile rather than basing your decision on a stand-up comedian’s snide comments. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-surviving-whole-foods/705820/37 "2014-12-01T13:05:25Z")
The Silver Spring one is pretty down to Earth. I like the Twinbrook one as well. But try visiting the Tenleytown one. It’s like the Hunger Games in Lululemon. It’s one of the most inconsiderate, aggressive places imaginable, full of entitled people with absurd needs who alternate snide remarks and subtle attempts to ram you with their carts. Then there is the studied, practiced blank eyed daze as they study the labels of each and every package of oatmeal in the aisle, resolutely pretending not to notice their cart is strategically placed such that nobody can get the things they need _and will just have to wait_. I often have to go there with a stroller, which isn’t much fun in any situation. But it’s especially difficult when the store is full of people with no interest in considering that there may be other people on the planet. “I’m sorry sir, do you mind moving your cart which is placed perpendicularly to block the aisle while you argue with your nanny on the cell phone about why you don’t have to pay her overtime?” (The staff, however, is great.) ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-surviving-whole-foods/705820/38 "2014-12-01T14:05:26Z")
> [@CheshireKat](#): > > You haven’t been properly Whole Foodized until you shop at the Berkeley Whole Foods. Sorry, I don’t dress colorfully enough to shop at the Berkeley Whole Foods. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-surviving-whole-foods/705820/39 "2014-12-01T14:12:25Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > WF really has a banned list of ingredients? “We base our decisions not just on food chemistry, but also ideology, philosophy, proper labeling, and a careful evaluation of the promise we’ve made to our customers.” It’s nice they acknowledge that “ideology” and “philosophy” are important in their food selection decisions. We wouldn’t want palatability, cost and convenience to play too much of a role. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-surviving-whole-foods/705820/40 "2014-12-01T14:43:06Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Then there is the studied, practiced blank eyed daze as they study the labels of each and every package of oatmeal in the aisle, resolutely pretending not to notice their cart is strategically placed such that nobody can get the things they need _and will just have to wait_. I don’t get it. Why don’t you just say “Excuse me” and push their cart aside? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-surviving-whole-foods/705820.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilarious-surviving-whole-foods/705820.md?page=3)