# Hilariously bad rhymes in songs, part IX **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 3, 2005, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927 "2005-12-03T18:44:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/21 "2005-12-03T22:11:19Z")
Avril Lavigne with this classic: > [@](#): > > You come over unannounced, > Dressed up like you’re somethin’ else OUNCED and ELSE. Not even in a Canuck accent does that work. (BTW, **Mr. Blue Sky** , the scansion and title of ‘Good Old Mountain Dew’ look awfully similar to the Irish traditional song ‘[Rare Old Mountain Dew](http://www.celtic-lyrics.com/forum/index.php?autocom=tclc&code=lyrics&id=412)’. Is there a link to the tune of your one - I’d be interested if they’re related.) ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/22 "2005-12-03T22:15:21Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > (BTW, **Mr. Blue Sky** , the scansion and title of ‘Good Old Mountain Dew’ look awfully similar to the Irish traditional song ‘[Rare Old Mountain Dew](http://www.celtic-lyrics.com/forum/index.php?autocom=tclc&code=lyrics&id=412)’. Is there a link to the tune of your one - I’d be interested if they’re related.) [Here’s the entire song](http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Mountain-Dew-lyrics-Wilburn-Brothers/18094165A0B04D3448256E7100311B82). It looks close enough to be an Americanized version. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/23 "2005-12-03T22:17:12Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > (BTW, **Mr. Blue Sky** , the scansion and title of ‘Good Old Mountain Dew’ look awfully similar to the Irish traditional song ‘[Rare Old Mountain Dew](http://www.celtic-lyrics.com/forum/index.php?autocom=tclc&code=lyrics&id=412)’. Is there a link to the tune of your one - I’d be interested if they’re related.) I don’t know for sure (never having heard the Irish one) but I wouldn’t be suprised. “Good Old Mountain Dew” is “hillbilly music”, and was probably around quite a while before Grampa Jones (most famous in the mainstream for his years appearing on the old tv show “Hee-Haw”) recorded it. Considering that the traditional Appalachian mountain folk were largely of Scots-Irish descent, I’d bet on the side of it being related. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/24 "2005-12-03T22:19:03Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > I don’t know for sure (never having heard the Irish one) but I wouldn’t be suprised. “Good Old Mountain Dew” is “hillbilly music”, and was probably around quite a while before Grampa Jones (most famous in the mainstream for his years appearing on the old tv show “Hee-Haw”) recorded it. Considering that the traditional Appalachian mountain folk were largely of Scots-Irish descent, I’d bet on the side of it being related. According to what I have been able to find, the Grandpa Jones version was originally recorded in 1947. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/25 "2005-12-03T22:28:58Z")
I found midis! [Good Old Mountain Dew](http://home.wanadoo.nl/bruch/banjo/mntndew.html) [Rare Old Mountain Dew](http://scottishparodies.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/rareoulmtdew.mid) They sound quite alike to me, allowing for the differing styles and the fact that they’re midis. ---
**Author:** ![Amaranta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Amaranta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amaranta)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/26 "2005-12-03T22:31:28Z")
Female pop singers are great for these. There’s that Kelly Clarkson song that rhymes “say” with “say” in every verse, Christina Aguilera with “blame” and “grave”, and so on. And the Black Eyed Peas not only have the stupidest lyrics around, but the rhyming is absolutely criminal. I guess “comfort” can rhyme with “want you”, sure, why not. And Alanis Morissette rhyming “dinner” with “fuck her” is pretty creative. ---
**Author:** ![ryobserver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b2d939/32.png) [@ryobserver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ryobserver)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/27 "2005-12-04T00:08:09Z")
One of the many verses of “Scotland’s Depraved” rhymes “Jesus” with “Cheez Wiz”. I don’t know if that’s awful or brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/28 "2005-12-04T01:28:58Z")
I bring you the stark awfulness of Neil Diamond’s “Play Me”, a song I actually quite like except I just can’t deal with this: Songs she **sang** to me Songs she **brang** to me Words that rang in me Rhyme that sprang from me So, Neil, is sang and brang a rhyme that sprang from you? Because you do know that “brang” is not a word, right? Well, it’s not. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/29 "2005-12-04T02:26:37Z")
Well, there is “Blinded By the Sun” by Everlast. I met a woman in West Virginia Said her name was Alabama She from a little town outside Savannah Where everyone talk that country grammar The second verse is much the same. And the chorus is full of somewhat questionable rhymes too. Funny thing, it’s not a bad song. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/30 "2005-12-04T03:34:55Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > So, Neil [Diamond], is sang and brang a rhyme that sprang from you? Because you do know that “brang” is not a word, right? Well, it’s not. Correct. It’s “brung.” ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/31 "2005-12-04T03:35:04Z")
> [@Rysdad](#): > > I really, really hate Steve Miller. He also seemed to have some difficulty finding something to rhyme with _time_ in the following line from _The Joker_: > > Lovey dovey, lovey dovey, lovey dovey all the time > Ooh wee baby, I sure show you a good time > > Asinine, vacuous _bastard!_ I don’t care for most of Steve Miller’s stuff either but that line from “The Joker” was actually a throwaway reference to the Otis Redding & Carla Thomas song “Lovey Dovey”. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/32 "2005-12-04T04:07:34Z")
Well, anybody that rhymes “fire” with “funeral pyre” is guilty of bad rhyming. The real horrible one that springs to my mind, though, is from **U2** ’s _Beautiful Day_, in which Bono does the agonizingly sophomoric cheat of: “You thought you’d found a friend To take you out of this place Someone you could lend…_a hand_ In return for grace” It makes me grit my teeth every time it comes up. He’s also the only example I can think of at the moment whose lyrics have actually gotten worse with each subsequent album - from the same CD, the song _Grace_: "Grace, she takes the blame She covers the shame Removes the stain It could be her name Grace, it’s the name for a girl It’s also a thought that changed the world…" Jesus. Need I go on? ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/33 "2005-12-04T04:25:38Z")
…And then there’s Juvenile, who scored a hit by simply ending every line with “Yeah!”: > [@](#): > > Got you working with some ass, **yeah** > You bad, **yeah** > Make a nigga spend his cash, **yeah** > His last, **yeah** > Hoes clown when you pass, **yeah** [Link](http://www.lyrics007.com/Juvenile%20Lyrics/Back%20That%20Ass%20Up%20Lyrics.html) ISTR Rob Zombie doing this on a couple songs, too. ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/34 "2005-12-04T04:35:11Z")
Roses are red, violets are purple Sugar’s sweet and so’s maple syrple - Roger Miller, “Dang Me” ---
**Author:** ![Gerome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85e7bf/32.png) [@Gerome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gerome)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/35 "2005-12-04T04:40:22Z")
The Flaming Lips, in _She Don’t Use Jelly_: She’s always changing The colour of her hair But she don’t use nothing That you buy at the _store_ She likes her hair to Be real _orange_… They rhyme 'store and ‘orange’. Admittedly, ‘orange’ is pronounced ‘orrnge’. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/36 "2005-12-04T05:04:39Z")
What do you get when you mix bad rhymes with glurge? “I Say a Little Prayer” by Bachrach & David. > [@](#): > > The moment I wake up, > before I put on my make up > I say a little prayer for you > While combing my hair now > And wonderin’ what dress to wear now > I say a little prayer for you Yick! ---
**Author:** ![Lisa-go-Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Lisa-go-Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa-go-Blind)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/37 "2005-12-04T07:44:30Z")
I am an antichrist I am an anarchist -“Anarchy in the UK” With “anarchist” being pronounced, of course, with a long “I.” The Sex Pistols have lots of dreadful rhymes, but that’s probably the worst - or at the very least, the most famous. One of the band members (don’t remember who) mentions in [The Filth and the Fury](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0236216/) that he would cringe every time Johnny Rotten sang that line. It’s almost enough to make me press the “skip” button every time it comes on. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/38 "2005-12-04T08:09:01Z")
I’d like to note that good songs don’t have to (and most don’t) follow a perfect rhyme-scheme. I never thought that Sex Pistols line was even _supposed_ to rhyme. I’d rather have a stretch of a rhyme that makes sense or chooses the exact word that the author wanted than have a perfect rhyme that doesn’t make sense or is contextually inappropriate. ---
**Author:** ![Taber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac91a4/32.png) [@Taber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taber)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/39 "2005-12-04T09:35:17Z")
…trouble …double in any number of songs. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/40 "2005-12-04T11:50:00Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > What do you get when you mix bad rhymes with glurge? “I Say a Little Prayer” by Bachrach & David.Yick! :eek: I was contemplating mentioning this very song (didn’t think anyone would get there before me). As it’s one of the songs that get’s played at me at work (along with “Cherish” which I’ve complained about elsewhere…I was actually _grateful_ when we switched over to Christmas music). “From the moment I wake up Before I put on my make up” Gah!!! Can’t say which I hate worse the insipidness of the rhyme or the insipidness of the idea that women jump out of bed and run to the makeup table. Although I have to say the commercial they made out of it “As soon as I wake up I reach for my smilie face cup” 🙂😃 …I kind of like. Sad when the commercial they do of your song is an improvement. On a different note, I had a hard time taking seriously the praise for Eminem when he first came out. A rap genius with brilliant word play who rhymes “Shady” with…“imitating”? :dubious: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927.md?page=3)