# Hilariously bad rhymes in songs, part IX **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 3, 2005, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927 "2005-12-03T18:44:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Lama\_Pacos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Lama\_Pacos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lama_Pacos)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/61 "2005-12-05T17:39:01Z")
My personal favorite bad Kanye line is: > [@](#): > > The way Kathy Lee needed Regis > That’s the way I need Jesus Partly because it’s a half-rhyme, partly because it’s so banal and transitory. ---
**Author:** ![Ceejaytee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ceejaytee/32/2956_2.png) [@Ceejaytee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ceejaytee)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/62 "2005-12-05T17:46:21Z")
“Upside Down” sung by Diana Ross: Instinctively you give to me The love that I need I cherish the moments with you Respectfully I say to _thee_ I’m aware that you’re cheatin’ When no one makes me feel like you do The use of “thee” in place of “you” just to get the rhyme drives me insane. They could have even turned the sentence around to get “respectfully” at the end if they wanted to: “To you I say, respectfully” which still sucks, but at least it rhymes without needed to be Shakespearian. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/63 "2005-12-05T17:56:08Z")
MacArthur’s Park is melting in the dark All the sweet, green icing flowing down Someone left the cake out in the rain I don’t think that I can take it 'Cause it took so long to bake it And I’ll never have that recipe again Oh, no! – “MacArthur Park” ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/64 "2005-12-05T17:58:19Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > My favourite is probably Black Sabbath’s “War Pigs.” > > "Generals gathered in their masses… > > Just like witches at black, um, _masses…_" > > Bravo! I see your Sabbath and raise you Madonna, from the 1989 masterpiece “Vogue”. > [@Madonna](#): > > Don’t just stand there, let’s get to it > Strike a pose, there’s nothing to it. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/65 "2005-12-05T18:11:30Z")
> [@Art Vandelay](#): > > MacArthur’s Park is melting in the dark > All the sweet, green icing flowing down > Someone left the cake out in the rain > I don’t think that I can take it > 'Cause it took so long to bake it > And I’ll never have that recipe again > Oh, no! > – “MacArthur Park” I don’t think that counts. Those rhymes are _good_–when compared to the rest of the lyrics. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/66 "2005-12-05T18:14:43Z")
> [@Ceejaytee](#): > > “Upside Down” sung by Diana Ross: Good one! Even when I was a kid, that made me wince. And as you say, the solution is so simple! Why, Diana? Whyyyyyyyyyyy! ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/67 "2005-12-05T18:27:47Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > I don’t think that counts. Those rhymes are _good_–when compared to the rest of the lyrics. Yeah, rhyming “take it” and “bake it” is fine. It’s the combination of “take it” (and/or “break it”), “make it,” and “fake it” that should be permanently banned from all songwriting under pain of death. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/68 "2005-12-20T02:11:18Z")
The gem popped up on the radio today: The Eagles’ “Ol’ 55”. I give you the chorus: > [@](#): > > Well, my time went too quickly > I went lickety-splitly > Out to my old fifty-five > As I pulled away slowly, > Feelin’ so holy, > God knows I was feelin’ alive > And now the sun’s comin’ up, > I’m ridin’ with Lady Luck > Freeway cars and trucks ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/69 "2005-12-20T02:22:16Z")
**Grelby** , now I have to track down that song. Any song with a reference to Zool is a-okay with me. ---
**Author:** ![rinni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f6c823/32.png) [@rinni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rinni)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/70 "2005-12-20T11:52:32Z")
These aren’t hilarious, but they need to be said. Stop rhyming “girl” and “world”. Stop rhyming “dying” and “crying”. Seriously! You’re just a girl in the world, there are people dying and people crying yada yada blah. Here’s “just a fist in your face”, which doesn’t rhyme but doesn’t need to, and that’ll give you a real reason for the crying! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/71 "2005-12-20T16:10:13Z")
The funniest of them all is Alice Cooper’s “School’s Out.” “Well, we got no class And we got no principles And we got no innocence We can’t even think of a word that rhymes” It works on so many levels. Pure genius! ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/72 "2005-12-20T20:02:34Z")
Can’t believe nobody’s mentioned “Love Will Find a Way” by Yes. I know their lyrics tend to be a bit obtuse, but God only knows what they meant by: > [@](#): > > _Here is my heart > Waiting for you > Here is my soul > **I eat at Chez Nouz** _ But the most cringeworthy non-rhyme I can think of goes to the Swedish death-metal band Candlemass, [“At the Gallow’s End”](http://www.fortunecity.com/tinpan/bootsy/96/gallow.html) which rhymes perfectly until this nasty couplet: > [@](#): > > _Soon it is time the dark has now fled > and I see the place for my death > the priest he will pray for my lost soul > I’m sure he’s wasting his…TIME_ Yeesh! A few more seconds and they could have come up with a worth that fits perfectly, AND rhymes! And then there’s “Illegal Alien” by Genesis, but in this case I think the deliberately bad non-rhyming is part of the song’s charm: > [@](#): > > \*Got out of bed, wasn’t feeling too good > With my wallet and my passport, a new pair of shoes > The sun is shining so I head for the park > With a bottle of tequila and a new pack of cigarettes > > I got a cousin, and she got a friend > Who thought that her aunt knew a man who could help > At his apartment, I knock on the door > He wouldn’t come out until he got paid…\* ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/73 "2005-12-20T20:16:18Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > The funniest of them all is Alice Cooper’s “School’s Out.” > > We can’t even think of a word that rhymes" Reminds me of Spandau Ballet’s “True”: _I bought a ticket to the world, but now I’ve come back again Why do I find it hard to write the next line? Oh I want the truth to be said_ ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/74 "2005-12-20T20:27:56Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > The gem popped up on the radio today: > > The Eagles’ “Ol’ 55”. I give you the chorus: I always thought “lickety-splitly” was quite…uh…witly. Of course, credit that one to Tom Waits, not that pack of doofs in the Eagles. ---
**Author:** ![Mbossa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@Mbossa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mbossa)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/75 "2005-12-20T20:50:42Z")
I quite like _Evaporated_ by Ben Folds Five. I’ve listened to it many times, but it took me quite a while to notice that hardly anything in the second verse rhymes at all. In fact, it’s nearly impossible to work out where the lines begin and end. > [@](#): > > Don’t you know I’m numb man, no > I can’t feel a thing at all, cos it’s > All smiles and business these days > And I’m indifferent to the loss > I’ve faith that there’s a soul up there that’s > Leading me around > I wonder if she knows which way is down No matter where you put the line breaks, the only words that vaguely rhyme are ‘around’ and ‘down’. ---
**Author:** ![La\_Llorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@La\_Llorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/La_Llorona)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/76 "2005-12-20T20:58:08Z")
From the Beatles’ “Honey Pie”: > [@](#): > > You became a legend of the silver screen > And now the thought of meeting you makes me weak in the knee Darling Macca, I don’t care how you slice it, but “screen” and “knee” do _not_ rhyme by any stretch of the imagination. Love, LL. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/77 "2005-12-20T22:41:31Z")
> [@Mbossa](#): > > I quite like _Evaporated_ by Ben Folds Five. Yeah, but I’m willing to give Ben a pass because his writing seems to have been drawn straight from my emotional states at the times I hear the songs. I forgot one of my favorites. I’m a big Billy Joel fan (and I won’t even touch on _We Didn’t Start the Fire_), and one of his songs has a rhyme that just makes you slap yourself in the head: > [@](#): > > **Originally posted by Billy Joel, in "Don’t Ask Me Why"** > Yesterday you were an only child > Now your ghosts have gone away > You can kill them in the classic style > Now you parlez vous Frances ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/78 "2005-12-20T22:54:12Z")
Two classics from Bob Dylan - “You speak to me in sign _ **language** _ while I’m eating a _ **sandwich** _” and my all time favourite ryhme in any song… “What can I say about Claudette ain’t seen her since _ **January** _ She could be respectably married or running a whorehouse in _ **Buenos Aires** _” the man’s a genius… mm ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/79 "2005-12-20T22:59:08Z")
Tom Lehrer does this in just about all of his songs, but it’s done purposely for comic effect. F’rinstance, in _The Masochism Tango_, he rhymes “agony” with “mahogany”. ---
**Author:** ![Pietro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@Pietro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pietro)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/80 "2005-12-20T23:06:46Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > And anyone that makes rhymes like > > I want you to know, I want you to know > That it’s to your house where I will go\* > > oughtta be duct-taped up in the interests of National Security. > > Daniel > > - Made-up example You mean like just about \*every \*couplet in Stevie Wonder’s “[Living for the City](http://www.lyricsfreak.com/s/stevie-wonder/131815.html)?” ("… but never are the dirty"? _Seriously_?) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927.md?page=5)