# Hilariously bad rhymes in songs, part IX **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 3, 2005, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927 "2005-12-03T18:44:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/81 "2005-12-21T00:05:02Z")
> [@amaranta](#): > > More from Kanye: rhyming > TYCO > lipo > Michael, and > Geico. > > That’s pretty awesome. Dammit, I came in this thread specifically to mention these off-rhymes from “Golddigger” and you beat me to it! Still, it’s worth seeing these in more context: She was ‘sposeta buy ya shorty TYCO with yo’ money She went to the doctor, got lypo with yo’ money She walkin’ around lookin like Micheal with yo’ money Should’ve got that insured, got GEICO for yo’ moneyyyyy First time I heard that, i tripped for about five minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Agonist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@Agonist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agonist)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/82 "2005-12-21T00:34:21Z")
My favorite clever use of a non-rhyme comes from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, sung about the egotistical and boorish Gaston: > [@](#): > > Look there he goes! Isn’t he dreamy! > Monsieur Gaston! Oh, he’s so _cute!_ > Be still, my heart! I’m hardly breathing! > He’s such a tall, dark, strong and handsome _prince!_ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/83 "2005-12-21T13:21:35Z")
No…I think it’s, “He’s such a tall, dark, strong and handsome brute!” ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/84 "2005-12-21T18:32:53Z")
Well, how about a true classic? Tyger! Tyger! Burning bright Through the forests of the night What immortal hand or eye Could frame thy fearful symmetry! -William Blake ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/85 "2005-12-21T18:56:50Z")
Here’s another that maybe doesn’t count because it’s sounds tongue in cheek, from Dire Straits’ Industrial Disease: I don’t know how you came to get those Betty Davis eyes [but pronounced “eez”] But worst of all young man you’ve got Industrial Disease! When he sings “eez” you can almost hear him wince. ---
**Author:** ![J.Gelert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/53a042/32.png) [@J.Gelert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/J.Gelert)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/86 "2005-12-21T20:37:06Z")
No mention of “Summer Girls” yet? > [@LFO](#): > > New Kids On The Block had a bunch of hits, > Chinese Food makes me sick, > … > I like girls who wear Abercrombie & Fitch, > I’d take her if I had one wish… :rolleyes: …and so on. Not just non-rhymes. Really arbitrary bad non-rhymes. Might I be the only person in the known world who hates “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”: > [@U2](#): > > I have kissed honey lips, > Felt the feeling in her fingertips, > It burned like fire, > This burning desire! ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/87 "2005-12-21T21:16:30Z")
> [@Grelby](#): > > Along the same lines, we have Jim Infantino (Jim’s Big Ego) and his wonderful song, _You Rule_ . . . Ah, what fun! 😃 Just had to give a shout-out to a fellow JBE fan!! Suddenly, I don’t feel so alone anymore. **Grelby** , _you_ rule! ---
**Author:** ![Agonist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@Agonist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agonist)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2005, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/88 "2005-12-22T17:26:38Z")
> [@Dung Beetle](#): > > No…I think it’s, “He’s such a tall, dark, strong and handsome brute!” No, that’s the point. It isn’t, but it should be. I think it’s great because the implication is the townspeople think of him as a prince, but he’s really a brute. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2005, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/89 "2005-12-22T17:36:40Z")
Maybe I just filled it in myself. It’s been quite a while since I’ve seen it. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2005, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/90 "2005-12-22T18:44:17Z")
> [@TV time](#): > > And I don’t want a nickle > I just want to ride on my motor sickle > > Of course, he did it on purpose poking fun at the very things we are talking about. no doubt, but he was obviously guilty on his “Coming ino Los Angeles” and deserves censure, drugs or no drugs. ---
**Author:** ![jasonh300](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/46a35a/32.png) [@jasonh300](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasonh300)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/91 "2006-02-04T01:02:33Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > I bring you the stark awfulness of Neil Diamond’s “Play Me”, a song I actually quite like except I just can’t deal with this: > > Songs she **sang** to me > Songs she **brang** to me > Words that rang in me > Rhyme that sprang from me > > So, Neil, is sang and brang a rhyme that sprang from you? Because you do know that “brang” is not a word, right? Well, it’s not. Not a rhyme, but… “And no one heard at all, not even the chair” ??? ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/92 "2006-02-04T01:16:43Z")
I thought of this old thread earlier today when I heard “Hot Child in the City”: Come on down to my place baby We’ll talk about _love_ Come on down to my place woman We’ll make _lo-ove!_ Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/93 "2006-02-04T05:00:18Z")
Those purveyors of schmaltzy 70s songs, complete with velvet suits, Afro hair-dos and the synchronised step-forward (and thence backwards), the kings of corn, The Stylistics, have my nomination: “Precious friend, With you I’ll always have a friend, You’re someone who I can depend, To walk a path that sometimes bends.” Ungrammatical and crummy poetry - a double-whammy. Nice song, though: _You Make Me Feel Brand New_. Interestingly, the next verse begins: “Without you, Life has no meaning or rhyme” ---
**Author:** ![Sassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@Sassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassy)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/94 "2006-02-04T05:31:58Z")
John Hiatt… Don’t have to humble yourself to me I ain’t your judge or your king And baby, you know you ain’t no **queen of sheba** And we may not even have our dignity, no This could be just a prideful thing But baby, we can choose you know, We ain’t no **amoebas** But are you ready for this thing called love 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Punkyova](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@The\_Punkyova](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Punkyova)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/95 "2006-02-04T05:48:44Z")
[q]I forgot one of my favorites. I’m a big Billy Joel fan (and I won’t even touch on We Didn’t Start the Fire), and one of his songs has a rhyme that just makes you slap yourself in the head: > [@](#): > > Originally posted by Billy Joel, in “Don’t Ask Me Why” > Yesterday you were an only child > Now your ghosts have gone away > You can kill them in the classic style > Now you parlez vous Frances [/q] I think you missed that one. It’s “parlez vous Francais” which rhymes nicely with “gone away.” ---
**Author:** ![DWMarch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwmarch/32/1010_2.png) [@DWMarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWMarch)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/96 "2006-02-04T11:23:30Z")
I loves me some Insane Clown Posse but sometimes they can’t rhyme worth a damn. “Psychopatchic records are geniuses Get off our penises” (from 85 Bucks An Hour) “I met Pete Rose and stabbed him twice in his nipples I’m Violent J and I stab people” (from I Stab People) “I said ‘Get off my dick, I ain’t a savior… I’m what you call a juggalo and I all I want is my flava’” (from I Want My Shit) last but not least “Chicken faced bitch, two or three good teeth But if ass was sugar, she’s a big fuzzy peach” I’m sure I could fill the rest of the thread with bad ICP rhymes but I’ll spare you all. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/97 "2006-02-04T15:07:29Z")
Similar to Neil Diamond’s “sang and brang” is Kristopherson’s "Best of All Possible Worlds: There’ still lots of drinks that I ain’t drunk There’s lots of pretty thoughts that I ain’t thunk. And Lord, there’s still so many lonely girls In this best of all possible worlds. Speaking of possible worlds, from “Pippin”: Once one dismisses the rest of all possible worlds One finds that this is the best of all possible worlds. Speaking of “world,” rhyming it with “unfurled” has grown to be a tiresome cliche. The best example of silly yet admirable rhymes has to be Don McLean’s [On The Amazon](http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/On-the-Amazon-lyrics-Don-McLean/776C0CD91BCB4E9348256CA8002AFF52) Wild duodenum are lurking in the trees And the jungle swarms with green apostrophes Oh, the Amazon is calling me ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/98 "2006-02-04T16:24:40Z")
I’m sorry, but Emily Dickinson and her “slant rhymes” belong on this list. Personally, I loathe her poems, so maybe I am biased, but when does “A vest that, like the bodice, danced To the immortal tune,— Till those two troubled little clocks Ticked softly into one.” sound good to anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/99 "2006-02-04T18:45:28Z")
From a 1932 song: _All I possess is **yours** I can’t resist be- **cause** You’ve Got Me in the Palm of Your Hand_ Now there used to be quite a few pop-song rhymes that assumed a sort of fancy Eastern r-dropping pronunciation – they’d rhyme _saw_ with _for_ and like that. But the sounds were close enough that you got the point. This lyric goes a step further and rhymes two words that didn’t rhyme in most people’s everyday speech at all (“yers…becuz”?). The only spoken accent where _yours_ and _because_ would come close to rhyming would be full-on Brooklynese, which, considering the origins of most Tin Pan Alley lyricists, isn’t all that far-fetched. ---
**Author:** ![Tarrsk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/97f17d/32.png) [@Tarrsk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tarrsk)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927/100 "2006-02-04T20:09:03Z")
Hoobastank’s “The Reason” makes my head hurt. Technically, it rhymes all right, but the singer belts the end of each line as if he’s written the greatest lyrics of all time: _I’ve found a reason for meeeeeeeeeeeeeee To change who I used to beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee A reason to start over neeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww and the reason is youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu_ Baby Jesus we(eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee)eps. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hilariously-bad-rhymes-in-songs-part-ix/333927.md?page=6)