# Hildi Jumps the Shark **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 14, 2003, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hildi-jumps-the-shark/218879 "2003-12-14T02:45:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hildi-jumps-the-shark/218879/61 "2003-12-15T21:43:22Z")
I didn’t think the cardboard looked that bad. It would’ve looked better if they’d used maybe wallpaper paste to ahdere it, and maybe tried to work with the corrugations like a pattern. (I think if they’d cut the cardboard into squares and put them up in alternating directions it would look pretty sweet.) The cardboard furniture looked sorta cool too, although isn’t going to take any spilled drinks well, haha. I had to wonder why Ty made those bed slats so super-fancy when he knew they’d be covered up by a mattress anyway. ?!?! Frank’s room sucked, like all his rooms. BORING. Why bother using real wood wainscot when he was going to paint it white? Blah. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hildi-jumps-the-shark/218879/62 "2003-12-15T22:18:31Z")
Could it be that Hildi is psychophrenic? After she meets the families whose houses she’ll be doing, she decides she hates them and must punish them. She has certainly punished my sensibilities more than once. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hildi-jumps-the-shark/218879/63 "2003-12-15T22:23:56Z")
OMG! did I write that?! I meant Schizophrenic! Am I having a stroke? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hildi-jumps-the-shark/218879/64 "2003-12-15T23:41:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Scrivener \* > \*\*Kitty litter on the walls? Oooh, I love that idea! \*\* _Used_ kitty litter. In stripes. Alternating between litter that’s been used to soak up driveway spills and the more conventional nuggety kind. Yeah. ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2003, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hildi-jumps-the-shark/218879/65 "2003-12-16T01:21:17Z")
If Hilda has hardwood floors, the orange paint could be used on them and the walls–and the ceiling could be a big cloth, artistically draped to catch the maximum dust and still be impossible to clean. Maybe we could set up blowers in the corners of the living room, fill the room with feather and hay, and then turn on the blowers. Living in a perpetual swirl of feathers and hay–a romantic dream. ---
**Author:** ![dancefan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@dancefan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dancefan)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2003, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hildi-jumps-the-shark/218879/66 "2003-12-16T02:27:38Z")
if they refuse to follow their “designers vision”. The contract that the HO sign allows the designer to get away with totally ruining good furniture and interior walls in exchange for the HO appearing on TV. Homeowners have protested Hildi’s designs but the edited televised version of the makeover leaves the HO protests on the cutting room floor. ---
**Author:** ![Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bambi_Hassenpfeffer)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2003, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hildi-jumps-the-shark/218879/67 "2003-12-16T08:24:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BiblioCat \* > **the infamous Circus Tent Room** “Magenta, taupe, magenta, taupe, all around the room.” – Hildi Santo-Tomas. Please, let’s not forget the giant wall mural of herself she had her team paint for her. Nor can we forget the Shards O’Glass fireplace, the copper bust of herself, and the use of hard-boiled eggs as decorative elements. Hildi is by far the worst designer, and the worse part of her shtick is that she is so horrible _on purpose_. I mean, Kia is pretty awful, but at least she seems to mean well. Hildi’s just a bitch. ---
**Author:** ![cadolphin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c37758/32.png) [@cadolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cadolphin)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2003, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hildi-jumps-the-shark/218879/68 "2003-12-16T08:28:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bambi Hassenpfeffer \* > \*\* …and the use of hard-boiled eggs as decorative elements. > > \*\* :eek: ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2003, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hildi-jumps-the-shark/218879/69 "2003-12-16T08:55:10Z")
I’m with Cathy on the hard-boiled eggs. I just gotta know more. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2003, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hildi-jumps-the-shark/218879/70 "2003-12-16T12:22:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CrazyCatLady \* > \*\*I’m with Cathy on the hard-boiled eggs. I just gotta know more. \*\* The dining room from hell- all black walls, black ceiling, super-bright yellow furniture and The Light Fixture To End All Light Fixtures. The HOs who were working with Hildi commented that the table looked like an egg (it was oval-ish, and SO VERY YELLOW), so in retaliation she bought multiple dozens of eggs, had Paige boil them up, and stuck them in vases on the shelves and on the table. TWOP review [here.](http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/story.cgi?show=87&story=5257&page=1&sort=&limit=) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2003, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hildi-jumps-the-shark/218879/71 "2003-12-16T15:07:22Z")
Thanks, **bobkitty**. That was a great article. My favourite line: > [@](#): > > In sum: it’s a nasty room that Hildi pulled out of a particularly tasteless part of her ass. I have to use that in everyday conversation now. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2003, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hildi-jumps-the-shark/218879/72 "2003-12-16T15:16:09Z")
IIRC, the Circus Tent room was the one where the HOs sold everything on Ebay afterwards, which made the producers rewrite the contracts expressly forbidding HOs from selling stuff. And yes, the Black Dining Room from Hell was particularly awful. Black paint on the walls and ceiling, screaming electric neon yellow paint, the 70s disco light fixture and eggs. It was truly Hildi-ous. I remember Amy Wynn grimacing while making the light and saying, “It’s great!” It was so obvious that she hated it. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2003, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hildi-jumps-the-shark/218879/73 "2003-12-16T16:35:18Z")
I liked the bathroom with the flowers. That said, anyone who lets Hildi touch their walls is an absolute moron. Although **Mrs. Cliffy** still watches the show, I had to stop because seeing Hildi (and sometimes Doug or Laurie) do these horrible things to rooms made me really nervous. On the upside, we were inspired by Trading Spaces to ventian plaster our breakfast room, and it looks really good. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2003, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hildi-jumps-the-shark/218879/74 "2003-12-16T17:03:28Z")
Don’t fret, they will all die slow deaths from breathing in the formaldihyde that is used to manufacture the MDF board they use for everything. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2003, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hildi-jumps-the-shark/218879/75 "2003-12-16T18:39:32Z")
I’m proud to say I did _not_ watch TS last Saturday night! I could have, but I just said no to Hildi. Speaking of saying no to Hildi, wouldn’t that be good for the ratings as well? I’d really like to see an episode where the homeowners said, “Well, maybe _you_ have plenty of money to redecorate with, but for my friends, this is it, and I refuse to let you destroy this room. Everything you do looks like crap!” Then the homeowners sit down and have a Coke, shaking their heads periodically at Hildi as she tries to convince them to carry out her scheme. Oh yeah…that’d be good. ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hildi-jumps-the-shark/218879/76 "2003-12-16T19:08:12Z")
Here’s one for Hildi’s house: Buy a thousand hammers. Swing at a sheet rock wall (and hope you miss a stud). The let the hammer just hang there from the hole in the sheet rock. Next, get neon orange paint and mix it with polyurethane. Then spray paint it over the wall. # Now you have a monochromatic wall finish AND work of art! Best part is that the polyurethane keeps it all in place and impossible to remove. picunurse wrote: _OMG! did I write that?! [pyschophrenic] I meant Schizophrenic! Am I having a stroke?_ No, you were thinking of _psychotic_ and _schizophrenic_. You accidentally created a portmanteau word. I like it. I think I’ll use it. ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hildi-jumps-the-shark/218879/77 "2003-12-18T15:11:14Z")
For Hildi’s walls: Squirt glue in random squiggles all over. Take handfuls of sawdust and fling it over the glue, letting it adhere wherever it will. Glue old frayed rope in a swag pattern at the top of each wall. In random areas, “distress” the walls with a hammer. Floors: Scattered hay, and more sawdust over a red and black check painted floor. Furniture: Hay bales upholstered with black and red bandanas for seating. End tables should be old cable spools covered with plastic doilies. Odds and ends: Using old railroad ties as shelves, decorate room with tacky Stuckey’s souvenirs made from dried turds, shellacked cow pies, and Poopets (decorative animal-shaped garden fertilizer figurines made from–guess what?). Lighting: In various places, suspend salvage store lanterns from the ceiling, using more of the aforementioned old frayed rope. For ambience, you could toss in some recordings of cows (a little “mooooooo-d” music?) and some square dancing tunes. Hey, I figured that since she likes to make everyone else’s home look like crap… ---
**Author:** ![Wicked\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/2acd7d/32.png) [@Wicked\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wicked_Blue)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hildi-jumps-the-shark/218879/78 "2003-12-18T16:14:30Z")
Ok, so she’s used moss, cardboard, feathers, flowers, records and hay. How long before she smears shit on the walls in a decorative swirly pattern? ---
**Author:** ![D.E.S.K.Top668](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@D.E.S.K.Top668](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D.E.S.K.Top668)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hildi-jumps-the-shark/218879/79 "2003-12-18T19:22:19Z")
I think the best wall treatment for Hildi’s house would be Hildi herself. Would liquid nails hold her weight? The cardboard room was awful on so many levels. Even if the H.O.s liked it, how do you clean a cardboard wall? Of course, the second somebody brushes against them, it’ll get crushed. Not only should TS pay to have the room redone, they should make Hildi do all the labor. Maybe a couple of days of hanging dry wall will make her rethink some of these ideas As for record-gate, I hope she used old, scratched up, impossible to play records. Somehow I doubt it though Peace - DESK ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hildi-jumps-the-shark/218879/80 "2003-12-18T21:30:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BiblioCat \* > \*\*IIRC, the Circus Tent room was the one where the HOs sold everything on Ebay afterwards, which made the producers rewrite the contracts expressly forbidding HOs from selling stuff. > \*\* Yes, but WHY? I mean, after they leave, everything in that room belongs to ME. As far as cardboard furniture goes-um, wouldn’t it fall apart if you sat on it? And for the last time, it was GEN that used the moss. Not Hildi. Let’s see, Hildi’s house…okay, you know they say disposable diapers are NOT biodegradible. So, instead of throwing them into a landfill… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hildi-jumps-the-shark/218879.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hildi-jumps-the-shark/218879.md?page=5)