# 'him and me' is ok **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 6, 2012, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/him-and-me-is-ok/643145 "2012-12-06T01:50:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/him-and-me-is-ok/643145/1 "2012-12-06T01:50:12Z")
Yes, yes it really is. I know we have the comma people, the apostrophe people and all kinds of grammar, spelling, etc. people. I am a ‘him and I’ person. It is not ‘him and I’, it is ‘he and I’ or ‘him and me’. Someone does not give a book to ‘him and I’, they give it to ‘him and me’. Somebody doesn’t tell a story to ‘her and I’, they tell it to ‘her and me’. ‘And I’ is not always correct in the sentence and it makes me cringe every time I read it or hear it. I hear it far to often on TV, by people who are supposedly educated (do you hear me Ramona from the HWNYC?). She is far from the only one. He and I went to the store. He went, I went. Tom invited him and me to his party. Tom invited him, Tom invited me. You wouldn’t say Tom invited I to his party. I don’t want to be the language police but come on people. It’s not that hard to figure out and when I read a post with ‘him and me’ I figure it’s not worth reading. I might be missing out on some good stuff. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/him-and-me-is-ok/643145/2 "2012-12-06T02:04:07Z")
I don’t have anything to add, but I heartily endorse this post. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/him-and-me-is-ok/643145/3 "2012-12-06T02:08:45Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#): > > ‘And I’ is not always correct in the sentence and it makes me cringe every time I read it or hear it. I hear it far **to** often on TV, by people who are supposedly educated (do you hear me Ramona from the HWNYC?). I think you mean “far **too** often.” In spoken speech, it’s sometime hard to make the right split-second decision, and even the most learned broadcasters occasionally slip on this one. In written text it’s inexcusable. I see it far too often at work. “If you encounter any difficulties please see Bill or I.” Ouch. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/him-and-me-is-ok/643145/4 "2012-12-06T02:09:35Z")
Ditto. I’ve been “corrected” a few times for things like “please call either her or me when you get here.” ---
**Author:** ![Ximenean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/him-and-me-is-ok/643145/5 "2012-12-06T02:31:34Z")
It’s things like “please call him or myself” that get my goat. Hyper-correct use of the reflexive pronoun needs to be stamped out. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/him-and-me-is-ok/643145/6 "2012-12-06T05:21:41Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > I think you mean “far **too** often.” > > In spoken speech, it’s sometime hard to make the right split-second decision, and even the most learned broadcasters occasionally slip on this one. > > In written text it’s inexcusable. I see it far too often at work. “If you encounter any difficulties please see Bill or I.” > > Ouch. I knew I’d miss something, it has to be that way. Whenever I correct something I have to make a mistake. Keeps me humble, or that’s what I tell myself anyway. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/him-and-me-is-ok/643145/7 "2012-12-06T05:54:24Z")
Hear, hear, OP! Agreed, though I can’t say I’m perfect at it - especially when speaking casually. I also have to join in on the hate for “myself” which I’m seeing more often and makes me want to strangle somebody. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/him-and-me-is-ok/643145/8 "2012-12-06T06:42:21Z")
What’s the OP’s opinion on She & Him? I liked _Volume One_ but I felt _Volume Two_ was derivative. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/him-and-me-is-ok/643145/9 "2012-12-06T11:17:19Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#): > > Tom invited him and me to his party. Tom invited him, Tom invited me. You wouldn’t say Tom invited I to his party. Da mon Tom invite I and I to him party, mon!\ > [@sahirrnee](#): > > I don’t want to be the language police but come on people. It’s not that hard to figure out and when I read a post with ‘him and me’ I figure it’s not worth reading. Um, I think you mean the opposite. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/him-and-me-is-ok/643145/10 "2012-12-06T12:06:34Z")
You’re telling us that the objective case has a correct use? That “me and him” is correct in certain constructions? Stop the presses! ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/him-and-me-is-ok/643145/11 "2012-12-06T14:49:31Z")
My pseudonym is **Maus Magill** , and I approve this OP. > [@Ximenean](#): > > It’s things like “please call him or myself” that get my goat. Hyper-correct use of the reflexive pronoun needs to be stamped out. An this reply, too. I have a manger who always says “myself” instead of “me”, and I want to smack him and tell him it does not make him sound smarter. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/him-and-me-is-ok/643145/12 "2012-12-06T14:58:24Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > I have a manger who always says “myself” instead of “me”, and I want to smack him. Does the Baby Jesus also want to smack him? ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/him-and-me-is-ok/643145/13 "2012-12-06T15:25:30Z")
That should be _him and me **are** ok._ Geez, subject-verb agreement, people. But yeah, I hear a lot of hypercorrect “…and I” constructions by people who should know better, including English professors. English professors! ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/him-and-me-is-ok/643145/14 "2012-12-06T15:57:07Z")
> [@Dr.Drake](#): > > That should be _him and me **are** ok._ Geez, subject-verb agreement, people. As used in the OP, “is” would be correct, I would think. “Are” sounds completely wrong in trying to agree with the quoted phrase “him and me.” ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/him-and-me-is-ok/643145/15 "2012-12-06T16:02:54Z")
Right. The **phrase** “him and me” **is** okay. Actually, I’m trying to think of a case where “him and me are okay” would work where the verb reflects the pair of pronouns. I mean, that makes “him and me” the subject, so properly it would be “he and I are okay.” ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/him-and-me-is-ok/643145/16 "2012-12-06T16:12:47Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > Right. The **phrase** “him and me” **is** okay. > > Actually, I’m trying to think of a case where “him and me are okay” would work where the verb reflects the pair of pronouns. I mean, that makes “him and me” the subject, so properly it would be “he and I are okay.” Yeah, other than cheating by changing “him and me” to proper nouns like “Him and Me,” I can’t see a way to make it work. (We had a Chinese woman named “Me” or possibly “Mee” in my freshman year dorm. It took me a little getting used to constructions like “Me is playing a piano recital at 7 p.m. Do you want to go see it?”) ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/him-and-me-is-ok/643145/17 "2012-12-06T16:14:46Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > As used in the OP, “is” would be correct, I would think. “Are” sounds completely wrong in trying to agree with the quoted phrase “him and me.” [Foghorn Leghorn]It’s a joke, son.[/Foghorn Leghorn] Evidently a poor one. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/him-and-me-is-ok/643145/18 "2012-12-06T16:23:19Z")
> [@Dr.Drake](#): > > [Foghorn Leghorn]It’s a joke, son.[/Foghorn Leghorn] Evidently a poor one. The thought did cross my mind.