# Hints that a woman is loose **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 6, 2013, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hints-that-a-woman-is-loose/649441 "2013-02-06T01:43:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hints-that-a-woman-is-loose/649441/61 "2013-02-06T16:22:07Z")
Y’all I am not even kidding - often here in the public library restroom you’ll find snack wrappers, because people eat their snacks secretly in there. Whatever. But today it was a Funyuns bag! When we semi-ironically went out to a few bars for my low key bachelorette party, this very drunk woman attached herself to my elbow congratulating me and yelled in my ear “It’s my birthday! I’m 40 today! I’m about to get me some birthday dick!” and I said “That’s nice! This seems like a good place to look for some!” and she yelled “DID YOU HEAR THAT I WANT BIRTHDAY DICK!” I think she may have been a loose woman but I didn’t have any calipers with me to check. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hints-that-a-woman-is-loose/649441/62 "2013-02-06T16:35:43Z")
Diamonds it sounds like you just put down random items and made a list out of it. ---
**Author:** ![Diamonds02](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5a626/32.png) [@Diamonds02](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diamonds02)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hints-that-a-woman-is-loose/649441/63 "2013-02-06T16:51:13Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > :eek: > > There’s loose women prancing around at wakes? Why am I still trolling the bars? It depends who died. 😃 > [@shiftless](#): > > High heels and nylons, smoking a cigarette, leaning on a lamppost. > > What guy, looking for a loose woman, would know whether a handbag is fake or not? And if words printed on their ass mean a woman is loose I’ve missed a lot of opportunities. Probably not your Average Joe, but there definately are men out there who have such skills. Your more metrosexual men, from places like Lincoln Park or Manhattan. Sadly, Wesley Clark probably wins the thread. Not so much about attire, but much more about desperation. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hints-that-a-woman-is-loose/649441/64 "2013-02-06T17:00:27Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Frugal? No. Thrifty. It even says so on his sweat pants. Haven’t you seen that romance comedy? When Thrifty meet Juicy? ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hints-that-a-woman-is-loose/649441/65 "2013-02-06T18:40:23Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > When I hear her calling out loud, “I need me some big cock!” You know, I used to think that a women saying “I need some cock!” was an open invitation, too. Until that incident in the Home Depot sealant aisle… ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hints-that-a-woman-is-loose/649441/66 "2013-02-06T19:49:25Z")
Eh, shit. She’s already pushing up stolen daisies. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hints-that-a-woman-is-loose/649441/67 "2013-02-06T19:56:39Z")
Things that better the odds of looseness, although nothing is a dead certainty: Tattoos Piercings other than ear Smoking Obvious lack of a bra Obvious lack of underwear Too much makeup Long fingernails Way too much jewelry Much more skin shown than is appropriate for the situation ---
**Author:** ![juck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/90db22/32.png) [@juck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/juck)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hints-that-a-woman-is-loose/649441/68 "2013-02-06T20:03:04Z")
Tattoos. Any where. Tattoos on a woman is a sure sign ur getting laid haha ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hints-that-a-woman-is-loose/649441/69 "2013-02-06T20:19:42Z")
\*\*Hints that a woman is loose \*\* If she is loose she is going to swing her rear end out when coming out of a corner under power. This is also called oversteer. Her rear end will slide out and fail to grip. She’ll burn that rubber and you can’t get traction anywhere. You may even end up sitting in the ditch facing the direction you came from and wondering what the hell happened. That’s how you know she’s loose. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hints-that-a-woman-is-loose/649441/70 "2013-02-06T20:24:42Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > Things that better the odds of looseness, although nothing is a dead certainty: > > Tattoos > Piercings other than ear > Smoking > Obvious lack of a bra > Obvious lack of underwear > Too much makeup > Long fingernails > Way too much jewelry > Much more skin shown than is appropriate for the situation Obvious lack of any clothing whatsoever “Detour” sign aimed toward spread legs Credit card reader on garter belt ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hints-that-a-woman-is-loose/649441/71 "2013-02-06T20:38:20Z")
I know it’s old hat to be amused by the google ads, but the one showing on my computer for this thread is for a Christian dating site. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hints-that-a-woman-is-loose/649441/72 "2013-02-06T20:39:01Z")
> [@juck](#): > > Tattoos. Any where. Tattoos on a woman is a sure sign ur getting laid haha … really? I’ll have to warn my husband not to let me out of the house. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hints-that-a-woman-is-loose/649441/73 "2013-02-06T20:53:43Z")
If she drives a camero with naked lady mudflats. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hints-that-a-woman-is-loose/649441/74 "2013-02-06T21:08:17Z")
> [@Dallas\_Jones](#): > > She’ll burn that rubber and you can’t get traction anywhere. _Crossing my legs_ ---
**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hints-that-a-woman-is-loose/649441/75 "2013-02-06T21:27:49Z")
Jeff Foxworthy says to look for the one that is dancing by herself way too early in the evening. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hints-that-a-woman-is-loose/649441/76 "2013-02-06T21:43:15Z")
I was going to go for the obvious: They start threads entitled ‘Hints that a woman is loose’, but now I see the OP has been banned. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hints-that-a-woman-is-loose/649441/77 "2013-02-06T22:23:50Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > …but now I see the OP has been banned. She was [one troll over the line,](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=681462) it seems. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hints-that-a-woman-is-loose/649441/78 "2013-02-06T22:35:35Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Y’all I am not even kidding - often here in the public library restroom you’ll find snack wrappers, because people eat their snacks secretly in there. Whatever. But today it was a Funyuns bag! > > When we semi-ironically went out to a few bars for my low key bachelorette party, this very drunk woman attached herself to my elbow congratulating me and yelled in my ear “It’s my birthday! I’m 40 today! I’m about to get me some birthday dick!” and I said “That’s nice! This seems like a good place to look for some!” and she yelled “DID YOU HEAR THAT I WANT BIRTHDAY DICK!” > > I think she may have been a loose woman but I didn’t have any calipers with me to check. This is why you should always carry measurement tools with you. Otherwise how will you tell? ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hints-that-a-woman-is-loose/649441/79 "2013-02-06T22:44:14Z")
Their vaginas keep falling off. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hints-that-a-woman-is-loose/649441/80 "2013-02-06T23:05:18Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > I was going to go for the obvious: They start threads entitled ‘Hints that a woman is loose’, but now I see the OP has been banned. NO! Dammit! I’m going to miss her crazy ass posts! I here by protest this banning! :mad: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hints-that-a-woman-is-loose/649441.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hints-that-a-woman-is-loose/649441.md?page=5)