# Hippo vs Rhino

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippo-vs-rhino/324102>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [September 29, 2005, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippo-vs-rhino/324102 "2005-09-29T21:51:25Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 1

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Mdr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c89c15/32.png) [@Mdr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mdr)\
**Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippo-vs-rhino/324102/1 "2005-09-29T21:51:25Z")

</div>

inspired by [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=337504](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=337504)

who would win, a hippo vs rhino? Hippos are known as one of nature’s nastiest and most vicious creatures, routinely killing crocs, and other beasts w/ it’s bad temper, massive girth and crazy looking teeth. To add injury to insult, they are also very jerky, in that they have been known to shit a mile a minute and use their tails as ‘propellers’ to just spray things/animals etcs for the fun of it. they can run as fast as a horse, and are good inwater.

Rhinos have a huge honkin horn and run faster than horses and can knock trees down w/ their girth and horn. Plus, I would be more afraid of a thug named Rhino rather than Hippo, if someone so chose to take that name.

here’s my take: vicious fight, Hippo wins bcuz of water advantage and large bites in side of rhino, while getting stabbed a time or two w/ the rhino horn. Hippo then spray poops it’s fallen foe to talk trash animal-style.

your take?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Carnac\_the\_Magnificent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Carnac\_the\_Magnificent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carnac_the_Magnificent)\
**Post date:** [September 30, 2005, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippo-vs-rhino/324102/2 "2005-09-30T01:13:49Z")

</div>

Gorilla with rocket launcher

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![FlyingRamenMonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@FlyingRamenMonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRamenMonster)\
**Post date:** [September 30, 2005, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippo-vs-rhino/324102/3 "2005-09-30T04:06:21Z")

</div>

Depends if the fight is on land or water. In water, the rhino has no chance. On land, it may have a slight advantage (hippos are pretty mean on land too).

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\
**Post date:** [September 30, 2005, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippo-vs-rhino/324102/4 "2005-09-30T04:36:23Z")

</div>

Batman… oh wait. I gotta go with the rhino on this one.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\
**Post date:** [September 30, 2005, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippo-vs-rhino/324102/5 "2005-09-30T21:19:50Z")

</div>

> [@Carnac the Magnificent!](#):
>
> Gorilla with rocket launcher

Monsieur Mallah!!