# Hippos **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 7, 2008, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696 "2008-11-07T19:55:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4491bb/32.png) [@I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Have_Hippos_In_My_Garden)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/1 "2008-11-07T19:55:11Z")
[I want pygmy hippos in my garden](http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,24619742-5006784,00.html) ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/2 "2008-11-07T20:03:59Z")
We have a pygmy hippo here in the Franklin Park Zoo in Boston. Its space is located next to a huge tropical fish tank that is transparent on both sides. When the hippo is swimming in the water, you can see it underwater by looking through the fish tank. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4491bb/32.png) [@I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Have_Hippos_In_My_Garden)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/3 "2008-11-07T20:09:46Z")
They are very very cute, its hard to believe they are so mean ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/4 "2008-11-07T20:16:33Z")
> [@I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](#): > > [I want pygmy hippos in my garden](http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,24619742-5006784,00.html) I’m sorry. You didn’t specify whether or not they’d be full-sized hippos or pygmy hippos. You’ll have to make do with the full-size ones, instead. Sincerely, The people that dole out hippos and all that stuff ---
**Author:** ![I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4491bb/32.png) [@I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Have_Hippos_In_My_Garden)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/5 "2008-11-07T20:27:02Z")
> [@](#): > > You didn’t specify whether or not they’d be full-sized hippos or pygmy hippos The clue is in the post!! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/6 "2008-11-07T20:31:19Z")
> [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](#): > > The people that dole out hippos and all that stuff Can I have a giraffe? Please? I’ve always wanted one, and I promise to be good to it and feed it onions and biscuits. I’ve got a really big yard and it’s fenced already. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4491bb/32.png) [@I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Have_Hippos_In_My_Garden)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/7 "2008-11-07T20:32:57Z")
> [@](#): > > Can I have a giraffe? Please? I’ve always wanted one, and I promise to be good to it and feed it onions and biscuits. I’ve got a really big yard and it’s fenced already. Remember giraffes feed on green stuff-and if you get a giraffe I want a pygmy hippo in my garden. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/8 "2008-11-07T20:48:39Z")
> [@I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](#): > > Remember giraffes feed on green stuff-and if you get a giraffe I want a pygmy hippo in my garden. I’d like a hippo, but I don’t have a pool. There’s plenty of green things (and I’d get more, pleasepleaseplease le’me have a giraffe), the onions and biscuits would be for treats only. (note, if you go to the Wild Animal Park in San Diego, you can [feed the giraffes biscuits (like dog biscuits, but for giraffes) from a terrace](http://www.firsttimesocal.com/admin/images/feeding-giraffe.jpg). It’s the coolest thing _ever_! One of the keepers told me years ago that giraffes really like onions. Maybe she was pulling my leg, but she seemed quite sincere.) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/9 "2008-11-07T20:55:03Z")
> [@I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](#): > > Remember giraffes feed on green stuff-and if you get a giraffe I want a pygmy hippo in my garden. [Squeeee! (you tube link, but no sound)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itPDKIebAos) eta, sorry there’s a little sound. I had my speakers turned way down. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/10 "2008-11-07T21:17:25Z")
> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#): > > Can I have a giraffe? Please? I’ve always wanted one, and I promise to be good to it and feed it onions and biscuits. I’ve got a really big yard and it’s fenced already. Se, if I get you a giraffe, then I have to get someone else a stoat, and someone else wants pygmy hippos. I only have so many people working under me. Would you accept shopping at Toys R Us as a compromise? ---
**Author:** ![shantih](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@shantih](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shantih)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/11 "2008-11-07T21:35:23Z")
Oo! Oo! I didn’t want a stoat until you mentioned it, and now it’s all I can think of. Can’t I pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease with sugar on top have a stoat? Please? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/12 "2008-11-07T21:40:36Z")
> [@I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](#): > > [I want pygmy hippos in my garden](http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,24619742-5006784,00.html) For Christmas? ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/13 "2008-11-07T21:52:01Z")
I don’t have a garden, but how about letting me have a dragon for my balcony? Or, if you only dole out real animals, spider monkeys, please! ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/14 "2008-11-07T22:01:46Z")
Presumably, at half the size of other hippos, the explosive blast of semi-liquid feces used to mark its territory would be roughly half-size as well. Always keep in front when walking your hippo. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/15 "2008-11-07T22:12:17Z")
> [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](#): > > Se, if I get you a giraffe, then I have to get someone else a stoat, and someone else wants pygmy hippos. I only have so many people working under me. Would you accept shopping at Toys R Us as a compromise? But I don’t like shopping! stamps feet You don’t \*have _to give anyone a [stoat](http://www.tuxxie.org/predators/mammals.html). **shantih** ’s only wanted a stoat since Today 04:35 PM, and I’ve been wanting a giraffe since I was 19._ \*yes, that was a really long time ago. His name was Blackjack and he was the handsomest giraffe in the park. He passed away some years ago \. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/16 "2008-11-07T22:17:38Z")
> [@shantih](#): > > Oo! Oo! I didn’t want a stoat until you mentioned it, and now it’s all I can think of. Can’t I pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease with sugar on top have a stoat? > > Please? You can has [one](http://www.helsinki.fi/science/metapop/images/stoat.jpg)? NO! We’re all out of stoats at this minute. We had a run for the holidays. We’ll be getting them in soon, though. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/17 "2008-11-07T22:19:37Z")
> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#): > > But I don’t like shopping! stamps feet You don’t \*have _to give anyone a [stoat](http://www.tuxxie.org/predators/mammals.html). **shantih** ’s only wanted a stoat since Today 04:35 PM, and I’ve been wanting a giraffe since I was 19._ > \*yes, that was a really long time ago. His name was Blackjack and he was the handsomest giraffe in the park. He passed away some years ago \. Geez. You’re a whiner, aren’t you? Okay, let’s see…the problem is that we don’t have a box that’s giraffe-shaped Really, at the warehouse, we’ve got some giraffes, but no giraffe-shaped boxes. Get me a giraffe-shaped box and enough wrapping paper and ribbon and you can have a giraffe. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/18 "2008-11-07T22:40:02Z")
> [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](#): > > Geez. You’re a whiner, aren’t you? I’d have been a whiner a lot sooner if I thought it would work. A four-footed, long necked box, tape, and some branches to munch on are winging their happy way to Least Original User Name Ever, General delivery Detroit, MI 48204. Please check the post office on you way home from work on Monday. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/19 "2008-11-07T22:46:33Z")
> [@I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](#): > > They are very very cute, its hard to believe they are so mean Cute? They resemble a cross between a turd and some kind of bizarre, anthropomorphized eggplant. I want one too though. I bet they make great moat guardians. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/20 "2008-11-07T22:47:41Z")
“Pygmy hippos make great moat guardians.” Try saying that 5 times fast. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696.md?page=2)