# Hippos **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 7, 2008, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696 "2008-11-07T19:55:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/21 "2008-11-07T22:53:39Z")
> [@Terrifel](#): > > “Pygmy hippos make great moat guardians.” > > Try saying that 5 times fast. Heh. Sounds like a cinch. ::tries it:: AARGH! ---
**Author:** ![shantih](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@shantih](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shantih)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/22 "2008-11-07T23:47:01Z")
> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#): > > But I don’t like shopping! stamps feet You don’t \*have _to give anyone a [stoat](http://www.tuxxie.org/predators/mammals.html). **shantih** ’s only wanted a stoat since Today 04:35 PM, and I’ve been wanting a giraffe since I was 19._ > \*yes, that was a really long time ago. His name was Blackjack and he was the handsomest giraffe in the park. He passed away some years ago \. HEY! I may have only wanted a stoat since Today 04:35 PM, but by golly, it’s not the length of time, it’s the irritating quality of the whine, and I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant one noooooooooooooooowwwww, and if I don’t get one, I’m _going_ TO … :reads link: Holy crap, they eat penguin chicks? Shit. I can’t get behind any creature that eats penguin chicks. Incidentally, **The Devil’s Grandmother** , I’m terribly sorry for your loss. I’m sure Blackjack was a fine giraffe and lived a full and happy life. > [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](#): > > You can has [one](http://www.helsinki.fi/science/metapop/images/stoat.jpg)? > NO! We’re all out of stoats at this minute. We had a run for the holidays. We’ll be getting them in soon, though. S’okay, I totally changed my mind on that whole stoat thing. Don’t really know what the hell I was thinking, if you want to know the truth. Can I have a penguin chick? You could use the stoat box that you don’t need for a stoat anymore. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease? ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/23 "2008-11-08T00:59:52Z")
> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#): > > I’d have been a whiner a lot sooner if I thought it would work. > A four-footed, long necked box, tape, and some branches to munch on are winging their happy way to Least Original User Name Ever, General delivery Detroit, MI 48204. Please check the post office on you way home from work on Monday. Only four feet? Oh dear. We’re going to have delivery problems. I, in good conscience, cannot send you a giraffe in a four-foot box. You’ll have to settle for a cactus. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/24 "2008-11-08T01:01:18Z")
> [@shantih](#): > > HEY! I may have only wanted a stoat since Today 04:35 PM, but by golly, it’s not the length of time, it’s the irritating quality of the whine, and I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant one noooooooooooooooowwwww, and if I don’t get one, I’m _going_ TO … > > :reads link: > > Holy crap, they eat penguin chicks? Shit. I can’t get behind any creature that eats penguin chicks. > > Incidentally, **The Devil’s Grandmother** , I’m terribly sorry for your loss. I’m sure Blackjack was a fine giraffe and lived a full and happy life. > > S’okay, I totally changed my mind on that whole stoat thing. Don’t really know what the hell I was thinking, if you want to know the truth. > > Can I have a penguin chick? You could use the stoat box that you don’t need for a stoat anymore. > > Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease? Hm. Penguin chick. They don’t stay all…chickish for long, you know. So, how many chicks would you like and where would you want them? I may be forced to paint some ducklings in order to fill the order. ---
**Author:** ![shantih](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@shantih](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shantih)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/25 "2008-11-08T01:09:16Z")
> [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](#): > > Hm. Penguin chick. They don’t stay all…chickish for long, you know. So, how many chicks would you like and where would you want them? I may be forced to paint some ducklings in order to fill the order. Oh, let’s make it 10, just in case there are any stoats around, and where I want them is here, duh. I give you fair warning that I will be examining all penguin chicks very closely indeed, and any signs or smells of paint will result in me giving you the stink eye. Ducklings. Pah. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/26 "2008-11-08T02:09:54Z")
> [@shantih](#): > > Oh, let’s make it 10, just in case there are any stoats around, and where I want them is here, duh. I give you fair warning that I will be examining all penguin chicks very closely indeed, and any signs or smells of paint will result in me giving you the stink eye. > > Ducklings. Pah. Oh, now you don’t like ducklings? Madam, ducklings are the backbone of our economy. I won’t have you turning your nose up at cute, itty bitty ducklings! ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/27 "2008-11-08T03:03:01Z")
Hey, what about my spider monkeys? ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/28 "2008-11-08T03:14:27Z")
> [@Kat](#): > > Hey, what about my spider monkeys? They’re right there on your doorstep. ..Oh crap, why are those boxes open? ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/29 "2008-11-08T03:43:44Z")
Does anyone want an [elephant in their garden](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOT8Lcby1Eg)? ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/30 "2008-11-08T04:05:43Z")
I don’t have a doorstep. I think your courier left them at the wrong address. ☹ ☹ ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/31 "2008-11-08T04:06:04Z")
Can I place an order for a poison dart frog? [poison dart frog - Google Search](http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=poison+dart+frog&aq=f&oq=) Surely finding a frog size box won’t be an issue. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/32 "2008-11-08T06:04:12Z")
I saw on Animal Planet that 200+ people are killed by hippos every year. I presume they were talking about the big ones and not the pygmies…But all hippos are kind of ferocious by nature. … which is wierd because they look so cute. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/33 "2008-11-08T09:01:32Z")
I would like a pygmy giraffe please. Thank you in advance for expediting this order. ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/34 "2008-11-08T09:07:33Z")
> [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](#): > > You can has [one](http://www.helsinki.fi/science/metapop/images/stoat.jpg) Oh the cute!! ---
**Author:** ![shantih](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@shantih](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shantih)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/35 "2008-11-08T12:10:08Z")
> [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](#): > > Oh, now you don’t like ducklings? Madam, ducklings are the backbone of our economy. I won’t have you turning your nose up at cute, itty bitty ducklings! Don’t misunderstand me – I am exceptionally fond of ducklings, particularly in a nice orange glaze. My only issue is with clumsy ersatz ‘penguin chicks’ with clumpy, paint-stiffened feathers. I have full confidence in your ability to fulfill my penguin chick order to our mutual satisfaction. I wonder if I can train them to perform like the waiters in ‘Mary Poppins.’ ---
**Author:** ![I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4491bb/32.png) [@I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Have_Hippos_In_My_Garden)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/36 "2008-11-08T19:31:27Z")
It is strange how hippos are so dangerous when they do look so cute. Do I want a pygmy hippo for Christmas?!! Well, no, not really, because its my birthday on Thursday so for then would be good. And also the hippos in my garden would like some company. Apart from hippos, do any other animals come in pygmy forms? And if so are there any animals that can’t come in pygmy form at all? And why?! ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/37 "2008-11-08T20:09:30Z")
I actually used to have 2 pygmy hippos! Their names were Jojo and Joetta, and they lived at the St. Louis Zoo. My parents adopted them for me for a year, when our long-term daughter [Merah](http://www.stlzoo.org/yourvisit/thingstoseeanddo/thewild/fragileforest/whoswhoinourorangutanfamil/merah.htm) was moved to another zoo so her living room could be redecorated. 🙂 You can [watch the summer “migration” of Nicola and Thug](http://www.zsl.org/zsl-london-zoo//news/the-great-pygmy-hippo-migration,263,NS.html) at the London zoo. And **guess what**! [They’re up for adoption, too](http://www.zsl.org/shop/london-zoo-adoptions/adopt-a-hippo-at-london-zoo/product.html)!!! ETA: > [@I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](#): > > Apart from hippos, do any other animals come in pygmy forms? And if so are there any animals that can’t come in pygmy form at all? And why?! [Pygmy marmosets](http://www.stlzoo.org/animals/abouttheanimals/mammals/lemursmonkeysapes/pygmymarmoset.htm). SQUEEEEEEE! ---
**Author:** ![I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4491bb/32.png) [@I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Have_Hippos_In_My_Garden)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/38 "2008-11-08T20:11:10Z")
> [@](#): > > And guess what! They’re up for adoption, too!!! NOWAY!!! They are mine!!Noone else is allowed to have them!! ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/39 "2008-11-08T20:16:51Z")
> [@I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](#): > > NOWAY!!! > > They are mine!!Noone else is allowed to have them!! HEEEEEE!! Go You! Hippoy Birthday!!! ---
**Author:** ![Gukumatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/74df32/32.png) [@Gukumatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gukumatz)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696/40 "2008-11-08T22:37:26Z")
_Re-reads delivery charter_ Pygmy hippo, you say? . . . You’re sure about that? Yes? So . . . Not hippie pygmies? You’re sure? Well, blast . . . [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hippos/471696.md?page=3)