# Hire your EVIL starship crew!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hire-your-evil-starship-crew/719608>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [May 9, 2015, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hire-your-evil-starship-crew/719608 "2015-05-09T06:44:56Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\
**Post date:** [May 12, 2015, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hire-your-evil-starship-crew/719608/41 "2015-05-12T21:46:18Z")

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Captain: Roy Batty (Blade Runner). Best command chair presence and will give the best poetic speeches to enemies on the comm screen.

First Officer: Cersei Lannister (Game of Thrones). She’ll be running her own secret agendas on the away missions.

Helmsman: Mirror Universe Sulu (Star Trek). Why replace what’s already perfect.

Security Officer: Darth Vader. Best hired muscle in the galaxy.

Chief Engineer: Master-Blaster (Road Warrior). Who run warp core?

Science Officer: Eye-gor (Young Frankenstein). Detecting abby-normal readings Captain.

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**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\
**Post date:** [May 12, 2015, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hire-your-evil-starship-crew/719608/42 "2015-05-12T23:13:54Z")

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Pikers and amateurs all of you.

Captain: Darth Cheney

(Our very own Dick Cheney. Yes, I would officially give him that title.)

Be at war with everything not nailed down and half of everything that is by sun-up.

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**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\
**Post date:** [May 13, 2015, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hire-your-evil-starship-crew/719608/43 "2015-05-13T05:31:35Z")

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Chief Science Officer: Davros. Blind, one-armed and wheelchair-bound, but his skill with a test-tube single-handedly {heh} created the Daleks, who went on to ravage the whole of space and time and ultimately put paid to those pompous big-collared bastards from Gallifrey.

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**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\
**Post date:** [May 14, 2015, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hire-your-evil-starship-crew/719608/44 "2015-05-14T18:24:50Z")

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> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#):
>
> He was evil. He was just trying to get home.

After destroying several star bases in sneak attacks.

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**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\
**Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hire-your-evil-starship-crew/719608/45 "2015-05-15T03:20:03Z")

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Evil fascist Brigadier -sorry, \*[Brigade Leader\*](http://36.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lausntCPo31qevvpfo1_500.jpg) Lethbridge-Stewart will head up the away team, because he is a mighty leader of men, and [Grand Master Tomas de Torquemada](https://img.4plebs.org/boards/pol/image/1388/65/1388656016130.jpg) {from _Nemesis the Warlock_] will be Chaplain/Morale Officer because he is a foaming bigot who wants to cleanse the universe of all alien life. [Be Pure. Be Vigilant. _Behave_.](http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs29/i/2008/161/e/4/Torquemada_by_skew_whiff.png)

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