# Historic SDMB posts throughout... history **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 3, 2006, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historic-sdmb-posts-throughout-history/338246 "2006-01-03T17:12:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historic-sdmb-posts-throughout-history/338246/61 "2006-01-04T03:34:08Z")
Comment in Great Debates August 6, 1945: “Well. it looks like **Hiroshima\_Chick** isn’t going to respond to any of my rebuttals today.” ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historic-sdmb-posts-throughout-history/338246/62 "2006-01-04T03:47:48Z")
Thread in Great Debates, 1919: Today Jack Johnson marries a White Woman- Why Not Legalize Bestiality Next? Ultraliberal post in same thread: ‘I have no problem with that.’ From a BBQ PIT thread, 1804: [MODERATOR BEAVER RIMMED TRICORN ON]A.Burr, Publius, I’m only going to warn you one more time- if you want to challenge somebody to a duel to the death, don’t do it in Great Debates! Take it to the Pit or to Weehauken, NJ![/MODERATOR] [THE FOLLOWING PIT THREADS TRANSLATED INTO ENGLISH FROM ORIGINAL LANGUAGES WHERE NEEDED] BBQ PIT thread, 1514, by Laughs at the Wind: Fuck These Conquistadores! We Were Here First! BBQ PIT thread, 1714, by Manuel Gutierriez y Inca Fuck These Frenchy Frogs! We Were Here First! BBQ PIT thread, 1754- Fuck These English pigs! We Were Here First! BBQ PIT thread, 1774, by Loyalist Fuck These Troublemaking Militia Folks! We Were Here First! BBQ PIT thread, 1814, by O. Pio Neer Fuck These Disposessed Indians! We Were Here First! BBQ PIT thread, 1844, by Knickerbocker: Fuck These Irish Gangs! We Were Here First!! BBQ PIT thread, 1870, by O’Shaughnessy Fuck These Freed Slaves! We Were Here First! BBQ PIT thread, 1910, by M. Jane Pittman Fuck These Penniless European Jews! We Were Here First! BBQ PIT thread, 1960, Stan Stan the Shtetl Man Fuck These Cuban Refugees! We Were Here First! BBQ PIT thread, 1980, by Manuel Gutierrez XIX Fuck These Boat People! We Were Here First! BBG PIT thread, 2005, by Joey Nguyen Fuck These Pakistanis! We Were Here First! ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historic-sdmb-posts-throughout-history/338246/63 "2006-01-04T04:03:30Z")
Thread title originally posted in **IMHO** on June 3, 1860 by **Stormin’ Mormon** : Poll for LDS Dopers – How many wives do you have? Originally posted by **Utopian Turtletop** on October 14, 1957: > [@](#): > > Check out[these photos](http://www.ev1.pair.com/edsel/edselshow1.html) from last night’s show! “E Day” was great, and with Bing, Frank, Rosie, and Satchmo promoting the car, my decision to pass on the “opportunity” to sell those German Beetles that look like pregnant roller skates, and go with Edsel instead, is looking to be the type of business decision sure to make me a millionaire by the time I retire! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historic-sdmb-posts-throughout-history/338246/64 "2006-01-04T04:23:55Z")
Posted 1939 by G-MAN 1 MY BOSS IS SUCH A PRICK! > [@](#): > > Okay, my boss is so vain that he won’t let any of the people who, uh, hired him… and let’s just say that’s millions of people!- know he’s in a wheelchair, but then he thinks I’m a freak just because I like to put on a dress once in a while! Good thing he doesn’t know I’m a total Mo and just thinks my boyfriend Clyde is my live-in assistant, and it’s an even better that in my particular line of work I was able to get those incriminating photos of him with his girlfriend and his bucktoothed wife with hers! God, I love my job. Posted April 1865 by Major Wrath Boner- I AM GETTING MY HANDS UNDER SOME PETTICOAT 2-NIGHT! Okay, check this out… my girlfriend Clara has really been wanting to see this _Our American Cousin_ play but it’s sold out and who has money to pay scalpers a buck twenty five for seats? So I keep putting her off and putting her off and telling her ‘just wait a while, we’ll catch it when it comes into minstrel show’. Well, today my boss calls me into his office and says ‘Hank, I’ve got tickets to that My Cousin Vinnie in America crap or whatever it’s called, but my wife’s gotta headache and can’t go, you want ‘em?’ and I say, Great! I’m thinking I’m gonna call up Clara on her cell-telegraph and give her the news and she’s gonna be hap-hap-happy! But there’s a catch he tells me, and I say, well, if the seats aren’t that great it’s okay, I’ve still got those field glasses I took off a dead Reb at Second Manassas, they’re bloodstained but you can see through them, and he says, no, the seats are great, they’re in a box right over the stage and I’m like NO FRIGGIN’ WAY! and he says 'Way, but… I gotta tell you the truth, my wife doesn’t really have a headache, she just hates the couple we’re supposed to go with… well, he’s okay really, kind of a downer when he’s blue and prone to dirty jokes and sort of crude, but she’s a total psycho hosebeast who’s either acting like, how can I call it, manic or otherwise she’s totally, how shall I say, depressing. Well who are these people I ask? and he says ‘He’s my boss’ and… okay, I’ve never mentioned this before because I don’t want to sound like I’m name dropping, but my boss is, let’s just say, pretty big in military circles, and his boss is… I’m just gonna say it… I’M GOING TO SEE OUR AMERICAN COUSIN WITH MY GIRLFRIEND AND THE FREAKING PRESIDENT AND FIRST LADY! I could have shit gold certificates like a Gatling Gun. I don’t care if she needs an alienist, she’s the First Lady! Oh I am getting some manhood under the hoops tonight! I have a feeling this is going to be one evening of theater my gal is gonna remember for a long long time! She’ll still be talking about this evening on the day I kill he… I mean, till the day she dies! (Odd slip of the tongue there, but I’m excited- CAUSE I’M GOING TO SEE THE HOTTEST SHOW IN TOWN WITH THE PRESIDENT!) The only thing that could make my baby doll happier would be if John Wilkes Booth was gonna be there cause she thinks he’s “dreamy”. And I hear he’s in town and might drop by… could this day get any better?! ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historic-sdmb-posts-throughout-history/338246/65 "2006-01-04T05:33:04Z")
Originally Posted by **FlapperForever** on July 26, 1929 at 4:30 PM: > [@](#): > > Pleased to make your acquaintance, everybody! I thought I’d introduce myself with a [little photograph.](http://www.elkpointhistory.ab.ca/Steve/PhotoPages/photos/ref300d2.JPG) I’m the one on the left, and that’s my best friend on the right (she’s listening to the Victrola right now, says she’s not interested in chatting with a bunch of folks she doesn’t even know!) Reply Posted by **MasterMasher** at 4:33 PM: > [@](#): > > You’re the cat’s pajamas, **Flapper**! Welcome! > > P.S. How do YOU do! 😉 Moderator’s Notes Posted by **Camelopard** at 4:38 PM: > [@](#): > > Since you’re new here, **FlapperForever** , I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. However, I admonish you to read the rules before you post again. When you do, you’ll realize that you’d have been wiser not to post that photo, or at least to have warned that it was not safe for the workplace (unless said workplace be a brothel) nor for the eyes of our more impressionable readers. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historic-sdmb-posts-throughout-history/338246/66 "2006-01-04T05:41:59Z")
**1936, Germany** > [@Hitler](#): > > Some naive Nazi lawmen tried to pass laws to keep the banks nationalized, we had returned them already after the Swinehund Weimar republic had taken them away from their rightful owners! Dumbkoffs! The Socialist part of our name was not to be taken seriously! Had to literally twist and break some arms to teach them our real Nazi priorities. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historic-sdmb-posts-throughout-history/338246/67 "2006-01-04T06:13:24Z")
MPSIMS - January 1, 1914 Hey, has anyone heard from AmbroseB lately? He hasn’t posted since Christmas. I was hoping to hear how his trip to Mexico was going. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historic-sdmb-posts-throughout-history/338246/68 "2006-01-04T06:17:32Z")
Originally posted January 11, 1665 by **Pfermat** I just posted a Truly marvellous Proofe of this Proposition that there are No Positive Integers x, y, and z such that x[sup]n[/sup] + y[sup]n[/sup] = z[sup]n[/sup] where n is an Integer greater than 2, but the Hamsters aten It. Originally posted August 30, 1794 by **Kidd the Billy** Me and Me Mates have been Digginge a Grand Hole! Shoulde we Burrie our Treasures in’t or Investe the Monie Else Where? Originally posted April 16, 1755 by **Moderator** [moderator Hat on] **Boswell’s Buddy** , this Boarde does not Allow Posters to Invent their own Citations. In the Future you may not Publishe your Own Dictionarie as Citation for incorrect Spellinge. Consider this an Official Warninge. [moderator Hat off] ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historic-sdmb-posts-throughout-history/338246/69 "2006-01-04T06:19:48Z")
From the 1973 edition of the “Two Truths and a Lie” thread: > [@Deep Throat](#): > > 1. I’m W. Mark Felt, #2 man at the FBI. > 2. I’m good friends with Bob Woodward at the Washington Post, and I really hate Nixon. > 3. I’m a Scorpio. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historic-sdmb-posts-throughout-history/338246/70 "2006-01-04T06:56:30Z")
Originally posted June 29, 1613 by **Moderator** The poster **Shakespeare** hath been bann’d forthwith, And sternly do we call the Board to mind: That Shakespeare was of **Francis Bacon’s** kith, A glove puppet of he t’was bann’d in kind. ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historic-sdmb-posts-throughout-history/338246/71 "2006-01-04T07:02:17Z")
Originally posted Summer 1969 by **CrazyCharlie** Man, I love it here. It feels like one big family! Hey, anyone want to come out to my ranch, maybe play some music? Lotsa chicks! We play some really cool games too, like “Creepy Crawling”. Peace, Charlie 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historic-sdmb-posts-throughout-history/338246/72 "2006-01-04T07:41:30Z")
August 14, 1969 in MPSIMS: > [@](#): > > Originally posted by **Ruby Tuesday** > > Okay, it’s all set! We’ll meet up in Schenectady and drive to the farm. Everybody’ll have to chip in for gas, though; we’ll need at LEAST five bucks’ worth. And don’t forget your tickets! These people are pretty cool, but they can’t let in everybody! > > Man, this is gonna be farrrrr out! I heard they’ve got some good acid, too. I just hope it doesn’t rain; that would be a bummer. May 5, 1937 in MPSIMS: > [@](#): > > Originally posted by **Leibchen** > > I am very excited to be attending my first Dopefest in America! I am sure that your Garden State of New Jersey will be a beautiful place. I look forward to meeting all of you, and I will tell you about the ride. I am glad not to be flying in an aeroplane; I have my doubts about their safety. _Auf Wiedersen_ until tomorrow, _mein Freunde_! September 1957 in GQ: > [@](#): > > Originally posted by **FissionChips** > > I have a few questions about fallout shelters. What should I stock in the way of canned food? How much should I spend to build a really sturdy one? In a pinch, can I just put boxes and furniture against the garage door to keep the radiation out? How long should we stay in? Two weeks, maybe? > > BTW, my daughter keeps saying “The living will envy the dead.” Must be the influence of her boyfriend, the kid who wears black all the time and calls himself a poet. If I catch her smoking those funny cigarettes, it’s convent school for her! December 3, 1805 in MPSIMS > [@](#): > > Originally posted by **Lewisonclark** > > ocean in view o the joy haha we did it woohoo pretty good trip mostly sackie is cool but the frenchie is gettin on my nerves this would be a great place xcept for the damn rain btw clark wants to no when we get paid ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historic-sdmb-posts-throughout-history/338246/73 "2006-01-04T08:41:55Z")
> [@](#): > > **Originally posted on April 17, BCE 2,453,102** > > FiRE bURn!! > **oG** SmAsh!!! … ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historic-sdmb-posts-throughout-history/338246/74 "2006-01-04T11:17:54Z")
From: **MPSIMS** June 30, 1908 by \*\* Siberian Sam\*\*: **What was that loud noise that woke me up this morning?** From: **The Pit** September 6, 1666 by **Sam Peeps** : **A hearty fucke you to Tesco for being sold out of Marshmellows!!** ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historic-sdmb-posts-throughout-history/338246/75 "2006-01-04T12:32:16Z")
**Being A Cafe Society Moderator’s Bull, Anno Domini 1457:** It hath been brought to our notice that one Johannes Gutenberg of Mainz hath laid claim to the construction of a mehanical engine that doth, by dint of moveable type, allow for diverse and sundry copies of a manuscript to be made. Be it noted that such “printing”, as it be commonly named by the many-headed, doth allow for the engendering of many several copies of an original document, yea, even without the consent of the _fons et origo_, and without fiduciary benefit to such person. Thus it hath been resolved by grave counsel that a gross engendering by the vulgar populace of such learned writings must be considered a grave outrage. Indeed, the matter hath been referred to Papal authority, who are considering whether such practices, believed to derive from far-flung and heathen Cathay, may not run counter to God’s immutable law, and that the perpetrators may be subject to examination by Mother Church. Be it thus noted that all such “printing” and references thereto, not excluding sly hints and rumours as to where the like may be obtained, are hereby forbidden forthwith, under pain of the malefactor being cast into the outer darkness, where there is wailing and gnashing of teeth. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historic-sdmb-posts-throughout-history/338246/76 "2006-01-04T18:20:52Z")
From MPSIMS: > [@](#): > > _Originally Posted April 9th, 1912_ > I leave tomorrow from Southhampton on a big ship bound for New York. Sadly, I only had enough money for a steerage-class cabin, but I’m excited nonetheless to begin my new life in America. > > I know groups of posters have gotten together once or twice - any one in New York want to meet me and share a meal? > What shall we call these get-togethers? I’m thinking something-Fests. Or Dope-something. > We can talk about it when we get together. > We should put in to New York on the 17th, but they say this new ship is so fast, we might get in sooner. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historic-sdmb-posts-throughout-history/338246/77 "2006-01-04T20:29:17Z")
Thread-starter originally posted in **General Questions** at 5:10 PM on March 25, 1877 by **NYDem** : > [@](#): > > Anyone Know President Samuel Tilden’s Ancestral Background? > > Title is self-explanatory. Moderator’s Notes posted by **cyrusnopheliam** at 5:20 PM: > [@](#): > > **NYDem** , while Mr. Tilden is now and everafter entitled to be identified as “Governor” on account of having served the good people of New York in that capacity, the Electoral Commission has ruled that former Ohio Governor Rutherford B. Hayes has been duly elected President of the United States, and Mr. Hayes has accordingly begun serving his term after being inaugurated a few days ago. While factual inquiries about public servants and office-seekers are within the duly stated scope of this forum, thinly-disguised political comments are not. Do not inject such bias into another **GQ** question, **NYDem**. Consider this a friendly, but none-the-less stern, admonition. If it please you, I’ll edit the thread title in case anyone has a factual answer to your query. > > ~Cyrus ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historic-sdmb-posts-throughout-history/338246/78 "2006-01-05T04:51:27Z")
> [@](#): > > **Originally posted on Oct. 6, 1945** > > So I bought two tickets to the World Series game tonight. I head over to Wrigley with my goat, we walk into our seats, we’re enjoying a bag of peanuts, and an usher comes over and starts hasseling me about my goat. I says, “Go blow yourself.” He walks away muttering something under his breath-- no doubt something about my mother, God rest her soul. > > A while later he comes back with another usher, a short fat little prick. The short fat one tells me the goat cannot be in here. I tells him, “Go home, roll up a copy of the Tribune, and shove it up your ass. I bought two tickets. The goat stays.” The two of thems walk away whispering something about my mother. > > Two innings later, a dozen or so ushers come down to where me and the goat are sitting. This tall skinny guy with a fat nose tells me, “Mr. Wrigley says the goat has to leave right now. He’s stinking up the ball park.” I tells him, “Well then Mr. Wrigley should go take a fuckin’ bath. Now leave me the hell alone.” The fat-nosed usher tells me, “Mr. Wrigley isn’t stinking up the ball park, your goat is, and now we are here to throw you out. With force, if necessary.” > > Then he said something about my mother, but I was too mad to hear it, and they picked me and my goat up and carried us out of the ballpark. I swear on all that’s holy, the Chicago Cubs organization will be sorry they fucked with Billy Sianis. > > As I walked down Clark, I yelled out: > > Για εγώ και ο φίλος αιγών μου, Cubs του Σικάγου δεν θα κερδίσουν μια άλλη παγκόσμια σειρά εφ’ όσον παίζουν στον τομέα που φέρει την επωνυμία σας, Mr. Wrigley. Φτύνω σας και της μητέρας σας στον τάφο. … ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historic-sdmb-posts-throughout-history/338246/79 "2006-01-05T05:29:09Z")
Posted Feb 2, 1973 in CCC > [@The Perfect Master](#): > > Please post all comments on my columns here. Ok, so it’s not funny. Not funny at all. ---
**Author:** ![mojave66](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@mojave66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mojave66)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historic-sdmb-posts-throughout-history/338246/80 "2006-01-05T06:05:22Z")
MPSIMS “The A’s/Giants World Series”, October 17, 1989: > [@](#): > > Dammit, my boss just told me I have to work late. I have two suh-WEET tickets to the World Series, and now they are just wastepaper. Really, all I had to do was leave a little early and head up the Nimitz Freeway to the Bay Bridge-- I would’ve been there in time for the 2nd inning! > > I am so gonna get him for this. :mad: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historic-sdmb-posts-throughout-history/338246.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historic-sdmb-posts-throughout-history/338246.md?page=5)