# Historical myths that reallly get on your tits **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 16, 2014, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historical-myths-that-reallly-get-on-your-tits/704744 "2014-11-16T02:14:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2025, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historical-myths-that-reallly-get-on-your-tits/704744/341 "2025-11-05T19:48:59Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > The people hanged in Salem were accused of being in league with the devil. Many of them confessed, because they were going to die either way, by being hanged for their crime, or being tortured to death, and if they “confessed and repented” (however falsely), they’d get a Christian burial, and get to go to heaven. If they died without confessing, they wouldn’t get a Christian burial, and wouldn’t go to heaven. Not to pile on, but no sect of Christianity that believes you need a “Christian burial” in order to go to heaven. The idea that a priest could, either through accident or malicious intent, frustrate the will of God would be anathema to them. Protestants in particular, since a big part of their deal is not believing that priests are a necessary intermediary between lay Christians and God. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2025, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historical-myths-that-reallly-get-on-your-tits/704744/342 "2025-11-05T19:55:39Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > That Ronald Reagan deserves the credit for getting the Iranian hostages freed. If anyone believes this, it is well after the fact. At the time, everyone knew as you said that the release time was a F Carter and Reagan did nothing to gain the release. A few at the time did think that they were released because the Iranians did not want to deal with Reagan, like he was going to glass Tehran or something. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2025, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historical-myths-that-reallly-get-on-your-tits/704744/343 "2025-11-06T04:29:12Z")
I may have spoiled a cherished family myth when I told a coworker that Al Capone turned himself in. He kept saying that his uncle was “the guy who caught Al Capone”. I looked it up, and the uncle did exist and was a Chicago cop. And more on topic, Eliot Ness wasn’t as large a figure in bringing down Capone as he’s been portrayed. ---
**Author:** ![Asuka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@Asuka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asuka)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2025, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historical-myths-that-reallly-get-on-your-tits/704744/344 "2025-11-06T06:52:05Z")
One I see all the time on Reddit and Twitter “Medieval peasants had more days off than current American workers” Mainly because you should be able to realize just how absurd that statement is, that medieval peasants weren’t just lounging around for more than half the year. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2025, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historical-myths-that-reallly-get-on-your-tits/704744/345 "2025-11-06T07:45:27Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#): > > Neil Young gives you a dose of this is _Cortez the Killer_; “Hate was just a legend. And war was never known”, of an empire that hacked out human hearts and whose tyrannical rule made ready allies for Cortez. True enough, but it doesn’t absolve us for what we have done to the native population. Both the United States and Neil Young’s native Canada have much to answer for on that score, and we might even say his song’s focus on Cortez is a bit – diversionary to say the least. ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2025, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historical-myths-that-reallly-get-on-your-tits/704744/346 "2025-11-06T16:30:03Z")
> [@Fuzzy\_wuzzy](#): > > Shakespeare was Catholic. I’d say that one is more “plausible hypothesis that some scholars of the period are willing to endorse” rather than “myth.” I mean, there’s nothing that makes it impossible; plenty of outwardly conforming Elizabethan Anglicans were secretly Catholic, no doubt including many who left no written records of their private beliefs. And a _small_ amount of circumstantial evidence for it, in that Shakespeare certainly had Catholic relatives, _possibly_ including a very near relative (current scholarly thinking is that it may have been his sister rather than his father), and he _didn’t_ engage in the kind of Catholic-bashing that many of his fellow playwrights did. (At least not as author. The King’s Men _did_ perform some stunningly anti-Catholic plays by other writers, and as a shareholder in the company Shakespeare was presumably OK with this, and most likely performed in them.) I’d put this one in the “unknowable” category, rather than in the “definitely a myth” category. ---
**Author:** ![Ancient\_Nerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed655f/32.png) [@Ancient\_Nerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ancient_Nerd)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2025, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historical-myths-that-reallly-get-on-your-tits/704744/347 "2025-11-07T07:46:55Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > So not “slaves”, but rather “payers of their labour tax”. [I think we can safely dismiss the Zahi Hawass ‘they did it as volunteers out of love for the pharaoh’ explanation. :D] Malignant narcissism is common among autocratic leaders. ---
**Author:** ![Ancient\_Nerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed655f/32.png) [@Ancient\_Nerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ancient_Nerd)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2025, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historical-myths-that-reallly-get-on-your-tits/704744/348 "2025-11-07T08:30:28Z")
> [@Dale\_Sams](#): > > The first baseman doesn’t have to tag a doubled off runner. The runner does need to slide though to avoid overrunning the base. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2025, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historical-myths-that-reallly-get-on-your-tits/704744/349 "2025-11-08T06:32:55Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > a lot of people like me who assume they’re mostly Brit but find out there’s a LOT of German back there but the ancestors Anglicized their names a bit (in my family, for example, Kolbe became Culp and von Tschudi became Goody among other changes). I unexpectedly had the opposite happen. One of my 18th-century ancestors was named Marks. In Pennsylvania, in those days, I took it for granted he was from Germany and anglicized his name from Marx. Turned out nope, he really was a Marks from Buckingham, England. I had believed I had no English ancestors at all, but I got that surprise. I have one. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2025, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historical-myths-that-reallly-get-on-your-tits/704744/350 "2025-11-08T20:31:51Z")
> [@Asuka](#): > > “Medieval peasants had more days off than current American workers” > > Mainly because you should be able to realize just how absurd that statement is, that medieval peasants weren’t just lounging around for more than half the year. You are correct. True, english peasants had quite a few “days off” _from serving their liege lord,_ but the rest of the time they were doing farm work- and having worked on the family farm as a kid two summers- there are NO days off. Some days are fairly light, sure. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2025, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historical-myths-that-reallly-get-on-your-tits/704744/351 "2025-11-10T03:26:55Z")
Never mind ---
**Author:** ![Sooner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sooner/32/7875_2.png) [@Sooner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sooner)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2025, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historical-myths-that-reallly-get-on-your-tits/704744/352 "2025-11-10T05:11:38Z")
Believe he actually charged up Kettle Hill. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2025, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historical-myths-that-reallly-get-on-your-tits/704744/353 "2025-11-10T15:48:02Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > Turned out nope, he really was a Marks from Buckingham, England. I had believed I had no English ancestors at all, but I got that surprise. I have one. Too early to be related to this guy, I assume. > **[Michael Marks](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Marks)** > > Michael Marks (Yiddish: מיכאל מאַרקס; Polish: Michał Marks; 1859? – 31 December 1907) was a Polish-Jewish entrepreneur and later a British businessman, who with Thomas Spencer co-founded the retail chain Marks & Spencer. > Marks was born into a Polish Ashkenazi Jewish family in Słonim, in what was then the multinational Russian Empire (now Grodno Region, Belarus). He immigrated to Britain around 1882 and moved to Leeds, where a company called Barran was known to employ Jewish immigrants. He marr... ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2025, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historical-myths-that-reallly-get-on-your-tits/704744/354 "2025-11-10T16:45:58Z")
> [@](#): > 11 years later Miller Sith Mod [/quote] Why, if you don’t mind me asking, did you bump an ancient thread to reply to a vintage-2014 post? ETA: Sorry for the junior-modding tone of that, I meant it as curiosity question not as a notification that you shouldn’t have. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2025, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historical-myths-that-reallly-get-on-your-tits/704744/355 "2025-11-10T16:58:14Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > Why, if you don’t mind me asking, did you bump an ancient thread to reply to a vintage-2014 post? I totally missed that this was an old thread! Weird, I wonder how I ended up finding it in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2025, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historical-myths-that-reallly-get-on-your-tits/704744/356 "2025-11-10T17:07:08Z")
The OP is absolutely right but anyone who still believes these things is stupid and there’s no cure for stupid ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2025, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historical-myths-that-reallly-get-on-your-tits/704744/357 "2025-11-10T17:35:22Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I totally missed that this was an old thread! Weird, I wonder how I ended up finding it in the first place. Maybe you saw it in the “related” tab, which shows threads of any age? ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2025, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historical-myths-that-reallly-get-on-your-tits/704744/358 "2025-11-10T20:09:25Z")
Yeah no, it was back in the 1770s. Revolutionary days. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2025, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historical-myths-that-reallly-get-on-your-tits/704744/359 "2025-11-10T20:17:30Z")
“Blonde, blue-eyed, light-skinned Kalash people in the Hindu Kush are descended from Alexander the Great’s soldiers.” No they are not. Not even a tiny bit. Not in the least. I wish they’d stop repeating that. Genetic studies of the Kalash reveal no connection to Greece or Macedonia or anywhere else in Europe. Their genetic group is unique to them in the whole world. Their ancestors split off _very_ early from the basal North Eurasian hunter-gatherers many thousands of years before Alexander. Probably came from Siberia. They’ve stayed genetically isolated in the mountains ever since. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2025, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historical-myths-that-reallly-get-on-your-tits/704744/360 "2025-11-10T21:49:16Z")
This is a much newer thread- > [@Historical myths DEBUNKED!](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historical-myths-debunked/1022251): > > Okat, this thread is not for modern Urban Legends- we have Snopes and Brunvand for that. I mean myth out of history- and NO RELIGIOUS MYTHS. Please. Atlantis- there is no Atlantis, they will never find Atlantis, they cant find it- because Atlantis never existed. Plato made it up. It is a parable, a teaching story. Oh sure, Plato may- possibly- been influenced by some ancient historical event- but Atlantis is a myth. Buried Pirate treasure. There is none. Pirates spend their loot, they didn’t… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historical-myths-that-reallly-get-on-your-tits/704744.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/historical-myths-that-reallly-get-on-your-tits/704744.md?page=19)