# Ho-fucking-ho: Christmas Season mini-rants **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 29, 2010, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309 "2010-11-29T18:36:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2010, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/181 "2010-12-14T19:03:43Z")
If it makes you feel any better, I also made sure to spread the love by mentioning to my coworker that it was stuck in my head. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/182 "2010-12-15T02:02:56Z")
On the way into work, I was walking on the catwalk from the parking garage into the building, conversing with a former colleague who I hadn’t seen for a while, when I must have stepped on a wet patch of melted snow and I went completely ass over teakettle. One second I was talking and the next I was on the ground. At the time I thought all I’d hurt was my pride, but 20 minutes later my left wrist started to swell and I couldn’t twist it or lift anything with it. I took two Aleve at my desk and headed over to court. The pills didn’t help, and my co-workers thought that the swelling looked bad, so they suggested I go to urgent care over lunch to see if I needed x-rays. I knew that there had recently been a mailing about which local urgent cares were covered under our insurance, so I went to our HR lady to see if she had a copy. This is when I found out that walking in from the parking garage is still covered under Worker’s Comp, even though I hadn’t gotten to work yet. Three hours and about 20 pages of paperwork later, I found out that I do, indeed, have a badly sprained wrist. I got an Ace bandage and went back to work. By the time I headed back to my car, they’d put down carpet mats on the rubber floor of the catwalk. Few hours too late, if you ask me. ---
**Author:** ![Tess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@Tess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tess)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/183 "2010-12-15T04:36:52Z")
Dear local radio stations, I don’t know who the hell decided it would be cute/clever to play White Christmas and Winter Wonderland over and over during a winter storm advisory but it did NOT make my extra hour of drive time in white out conditions any more enjoyable. If any of you were anywhere close to on my way home you’d be dealing with a shattered control board. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/184 "2010-12-16T00:05:36Z")
So we did our stupid little gift swap circle thing at work today. The gift I grabbed turned out to be…a handheld vacuum cleaner that plugs into the DC outlet in your car. So you can vacuum on the go, I guess. No one wanted a handheld vacuum cleaner, so I’m stuck with it. Fine, it’s all just a bit of silly fun, right? Guess what one individual, out of the six in the room, doesn’t own a fucking car? If you guessed “the poor sap who ended up with the vacuum cleaner that can only be plugged into a car,” come on down! You win a free fucking vacuum\*. And then it turned into “reminisce about the TV shows you watched as a kid,” which was super fun considering that I’m 24 and the next youngest person is 50. \*You don’t, actually, it’s going to a friend (who owns a goddamn car). You get a lump of coal instead. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/185 "2010-12-16T01:11:59Z")
Just stopping by to bring everyone down: while cleaning out my (walk-in) closet this morning I found $270 in bills and change, which will pay for not only my Christmas gifts this year but also my Christmas drycleaning, plus some. Ho ho! ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Warrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Electric\_Warrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Warrior)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/186 "2010-12-16T04:07:00Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > That’s… not normal. Sounds busted. Can you pitch it and just go braless 'til you get home? Or at least pull out the underwire? No, it was fine. I was just sitting in a weird position. ---
**Author:** ![Norse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a9adbd/32.png) [@Norse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Norse)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/187 "2010-12-16T08:06:05Z")
> [@The\_Real\_Regency\_Elf](#): > > Wow, IKEA Woodbridge, could you guys have been any LESS prepared for the Julbord event tonight? Am I correct in assuming that you actually _eat out_ at IKEA? :eek: Of course, if you’re working there, and this was something the administration put up for the employees, I’ll have to excuse you, but from your post it seems as if you’re actually _paying real money_ for something which is almost, but not quite entirely unlike food. While I’m at it: I hate _julebord_. I’m perfectly comfortable around my colleagues when we’re at the workplace, but I’m not particularly thrilled about the concept of stuffing myself with so much (mediocre quality) Christmas food before Christmas that I don’t want it for, you know, Christmas, drinking in excess, socializing with people I have one thing in common with (we share the same employer) and waking up the next day with the grandmother of all hangovers. And no, I’m not sick. I may be slightly antisocial, but otherwise I’m fine, thank you. It’s just that I have better things to do tonight, like sharing some time with my family, and tomorrow, like shopping for presents and making Christmas cookies with my kids. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/188 "2010-12-16T13:41:15Z")
> [@NinjaChick](#): > > If you guessed “the poor sap who ended up with the vacuum cleaner that can only be plugged into a car,” come on down! You win a free fucking vacuum\*. I was also misled by a fucking vaccum. I got a nasty surprise using it for its primary purpose since they never removed the blades. [I decided not to change the typo since it’s funnier] ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/189 "2010-12-16T16:04:37Z")
> [@Electric\_Warrior](#): > > No, it was fine. I was just sitting in a weird position. Are you a contortionist? You must be pretty flexible to be just sittin’ around … in such a weird way that your bra attacked you! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/190 "2010-12-16T17:26:08Z")
> [@Norse](#): > > Am I correct in assuming that you actually _eat out_ at IKEA? The food at Ikea isn’t actually that bad and it’s pretty damn cheap. I’ve grabbed lunch there a couple of times while shopping. > [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Are you a contortionist? You must be pretty flexible to be just sittin’ around … in such a weird way that your bra attacked you! 😃 Presumably she also got stuck, such that she came here to complain about it rather than just moving back into a normal position where the underwire wasn’t poking. “Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I do this,” as the joke in my family goes. (I still call busted underwire or cheap bra–I didn’t think it was possible to get into a position where you were poking yourself with it otherwise.) ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/191 "2010-12-16T18:09:07Z")
> [@Norse](#): > > While I’m at it: I hate _julebord_. I’m perfectly comfortable around my colleagues when we’re at the workplace, but I’m not particularly thrilled about the concept of stuffing myself with so much (mediocre quality) Christmas food before Christmas that I don’t want it for, you know, Christmas, drinking in excess, socializing with people I have one thing in common with (we share the same employer) and waking up the next day with the grandmother of all hangovers. Hey, it beats waking up with the grandmother of that guy in Shipping. ---
**Author:** ![Algher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Algher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algher)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2010, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/192 "2010-12-17T00:29:16Z")
I have whooping cough. The week before Christmas and I have whooping cough. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2010, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/193 "2010-12-17T01:12:07Z")
I just have irritating, lingering cough after my recent cold. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2010, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/194 "2010-12-17T01:30:51Z")
> [@The\_Real\_Regency\_Elf](#): > > Wow, IKEA Woodbridge, could you guys have been any LESS prepared for the Julbord event tonight? When you’re charging $10 a person, it would be nice to have something to serve them besides meatballs and some dessert stuff. Well, to be fair, you did have other offerings but they ran out by 5:30. Having only three small buffet tables with about a foot between them really gave the proceedings that delightful cattle trough feel. And way to go for providing nothing but glasses to pour the steaming hot glögg into. My fingertips are still throbbing three hours later. I don’t think IKEA understands Christmas very well. I usually tour the one near me for plastic cutting boards and some other stuff. Last year I discovered to my shock that they closed at 8. This year I came earlier, and they had half the place torn up. On the plus side, no one was in the store, or in the cafeteria. Works for me, maybe not them. BTW, hearing workplace Xmas stories makes me thank my lucky stars that 90% of the people in my department aren’t Christian. ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2010, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/195 "2010-12-17T03:36:03Z")
Well dang, my cat just died. Ok, so she was 17 yrs old, but still she was my cat. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2010, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/196 "2010-12-17T03:37:12Z")
Sorry to hear that, **deb**. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2010, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/197 "2010-12-17T03:38:30Z")
> [@deb2world](#): > > Well dang, my cat just died. Ok, so she was 17 yrs old, but still she was my cat. ☹ We aren’t doing so well health-wise in the pet department here but at least they are all still alive. I am very sorry to hear about your cat. ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2010, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/198 "2010-12-17T03:47:04Z")
thanks for the sympathy. I am feeling a bit raw from the loss. She was a talker, would meor when she walked into a room to let you know she was there. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![emmaliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emmaliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emmaliminal)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2010, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/199 "2010-12-17T04:04:21Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > … (I still call busted underwire or cheap bra–I didn’t think it was possible to get into a position where you were poking yourself with it otherwise.) Oh honey (and you know I’ve been waiting for an opp to call YOU honey) just wait til your boobs get to be over 40. They’ll droop in all the right places for underwire pokage just sitting in the damn car. OK, my totally nonfestiveseason rant: Will all you Doper people please remind me that childcare skills, and we’re talking baby-sitting of actual babies here, have 0% overlap with writing and/or spelling skills. I’m searching for a part-time nanny using teh online svcs and OMFFSM it’s hard not to reject otherwise great candidates out of hand for crappy-ass cover letters. Actually, it’s hard not to reject them without also attaching some jpg from failblog or the like. How do people as rude and unfeeling (and oooold; see above re: underwires) as me ever manage reproduction? ETA: Oh, **deb** , I’m so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![moejoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@moejoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moejoe)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2010, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/200 "2010-12-17T06:22:35Z")
> [@emmaliminal](#): > > Oh honey (and you know I’ve been waiting for an opp to call YOU honey) just wait til your boobs get to be over 40. They’ll droop in all the right places for underwire pokage just sitting in the damn car. > > OK, my totally nonfestiveseason rant: Will all you Doper people please remind me that childcare skills, and we’re talking baby-sitting of actual babies here, have 0% overlap with writing and/or spelling skills. I’m searching for a part-time nanny using teh online svcs and OMFFSM it’s hard not to reject otherwise great candidates out of hand for crappy-ass cover letters. Actually, it’s hard not to reject them without also attaching some jpg from failblog or the like. How do people as rude and unfeeling (and oooold; see above re: underwires) as me ever manage reproduction? > > ETA: Oh, **deb** , I’m so sorry. Meh, call me snooty but I wouldn’t hire a babysitter that couldn’t pull off a cover letter either. Good child care providers are intelligent, and intelligence _does_ overlap with writing/spelling skills. I say hold out for a genius 🙂 Also-Sorry for your loss deb, oldster cats are the best aren’t they? ETA: or should that be a babysitter **who** couldn’t pull off a cover letter? ack! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309.md?page=11)