# Ho-fucking-ho: Christmas Season mini-rants **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 29, 2010, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309 "2010-11-29T18:36:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/261 "2010-12-21T16:19:22Z")
The building I work in’s parking lot is a sheet of pure fucking ice. And, walking in, I fell. Now my leg is wet and dirty, and the part where my thigh meets my torso is achy. Also, I feel really stupid. Fucking weather. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/262 "2010-12-21T16:23:12Z")
Last two (I guess - some of our friends are slackers like us) Christmas cards showed up in the mailbox last night. Both from college friends we still keep in touch with, and we truly enjoy having them in our lives. Card 1: from a pair of lesbians. Addressed to “MyFirstName & HisFirstName,” a hand-written card that included a little joke. Card 2: from the most conservative friends we have - as we grow older, we seem to be diverging drastically. Addressed to “Mr. & Mrs. HisFirstName HisLastName,” a photo of them with the baby, no signature, nada. There is a point to be made here somewhere. Dunno what it is, but the dichotomy really made me go “bwuh?” ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/263 "2010-12-21T16:48:45Z")
Those of you having trouble with slipping on ice – may I recommend the[Yaktrax Pro](http://www.yaktrax.com/pro)? It’s a lifesaver. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/264 "2010-12-21T17:56:34Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > But since neither the flamethrower nor your ridiculous idea that the neighbor was with-holding the package was even brought up by **TheMerchandise** , your “ **IF** ” is completely utterly meaningless, and bad advice to boot. Are you done with that strawman yet? I don’t want it, by the way, but you could at least chuck it in the garbage on your way out. This was the exchange: Person A: I’m sick of my neighbor extorting money and/or goods out of me in order to get back the packages she signs for. Person B: Why even cave to their demands? It’s not like they can legally keep the package from you anyway. Person C: HURR HURR HURR R U STUPID??? THEY RNT STEALING TEH PAKAGE!!! TARD!! My point is simply that there is no reason for her to keep handing over money or cookies in exchange for the packages if she doesn’t feel the neighbor has earned them. I don’t actually think that she should literally tell her neighbor to shut the fuck up or call her a bitch to her face, either, if you were also confused about that. The point of my post was never (as you seem to have read it \*and \*insist on maintaining that it meant even after I explained it to you) that the neighbor was doing something illegal \*by signing for \ ***TheMerch** ’s package. Rather, I’m asserting that it would be illegal at the point where \*\*TheMerch \*\*asked for her package and the neighbor refused to hand it over without some sort of compensation. I’m saying, why doesn’t she just take the damned package, cookies be damned, since clearly the neighbor doesn’t deserve them? There’s nothing in there about suing the neighbor just for the hell of it–I’m just pointing out that there’s no reason to give somebody cookies or money that they haven’t actually earned. > [@a35362](#): > > Those of you having trouble with slipping on ice – may I recommend the[Yaktrax Pro](http://www.yaktrax.com/pro)? It’s a lifesaver. Or you could just learn how to walk on ice. Really, it’s not that hard. You just take smaller steps and tighten up your knees a bit. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/265 "2010-12-21T18:04:44Z")
Woke up yesterday with a sore back, attempted some shopping ended up with extreme back spasms. Dodging crazy people with shopping carts did not help at all. Ended up not being able to work last night. It seems like every Christmas I have some kind of sickness crud, so at least this year it’s changing it up with just physical pain. Whee! ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/266 "2010-12-21T18:09:33Z")
The real problem with walking on ice comes when you think you’re walking on nice solid snow, and it turns out to be some snow just hiding a layer of ice underneath. Or when you have to walk up/down a slick incline. I broke my wrist because of falling on hidden ice; now I have slip-on cleat straps in my bag for uncertain conditions. On this topic, the owners of vacant storefronts along my path to the train station can go eat a bag of dicks. I don’t care that you don’t currently have a business located in your store; get someone out there to shovel and salt your goddamned sidewalk early. You’re turning a public walkway into a hazard, and making people choose between inching along at a snail’s pace or having to walk in the street to get past your property. That goes double for the homeowners with the shitty sump pumps that ice up the whole street in front of your house by spewing water everywhere. I’d love to see the town fine the crap out of you, but you bitches would probably rather hire lawyers to fight for years than actually try to come to some sort of real solution. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/267 "2010-12-21T18:25:19Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > Hmm. I got mine a year ago or so, and haven’t seen that. I’ll keep an eye on it, but I don’t expect it to start happening at this point if it hasn’t yet. It would seem that you are one of the fortunate ones. Other complaints were uneven heating, which seems odd for a cast-iron product. People sometimes only post reviews when unhappy, so that could skew the results. ---
**Author:** ![Paintcharge](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paintcharge/32/7946_2.png) [@Paintcharge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paintcharge)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/268 "2010-12-21T18:40:45Z")
Fuck you, Gateway computers. My laptop will not power on and you sold my warranty to another company that promptly goes out of business. No one who has a business machine is getting and warranty service. How the fuck is that remotely legal? ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/269 "2010-12-21T18:44:10Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Rather, I’m asserting that it would be illegal at the point where \*\*TheMerch \*\*asked for her package and the neighbor refused to hand it over without some sort of compensation. . **TheMerchandise** has never claimed that the neighbor refused to hand over any package at any time.:rolleyes: But yes, TheMerchandise, _ **IF** _ your neighbor does refuse to hand it over, you should “take legal action”. _ **IF** _ your neighbor opens up on you with a flamethrower- “take legal action”. _ **IF** _ your neighbor chops open your door with a fireaxe while saying "Heeerrrress Johhnnnny’ you should take “take legal action”. But as you have already agreed, **TheMerchandise** , under the scenario you are talking about, as opposed to the scenario going on in someones fevered imagination- you should not “take legal action”. Of course you already know that. Pay no attention to the person babbling in the corner, trying desperately to justify her bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/270 "2010-12-21T20:11:59Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > The real problem with walking on ice comes when you think you’re walking on nice solid snow, and it turns out to be some snow just hiding a layer of ice underneath. That’s why around here people pretty much just learn to never trust that any footing is solid unless you can actually see it and it’s dry. It’s something you learn to just do automatically–I’ve actually noticed the way my leg muscles work differently when I’m walking on a patch of sidewalk that I can actually see is clear. > [@DrDeth](#): > > **TheMerchandise** has never claimed that the neighbor refused to hand over any package at any time. You could at least wipe the previous round of semen off before you continue fucking the straw man, dude. It’s getting pretty rank. ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/271 "2010-12-21T20:14:51Z")
Shots From Gun: Really, what thread are you reading? Really where did you get that I told him to tell someone to “Fuck off”? I taught him not to take a drunk being abusive, mostly he would leave for all day to get away from him. His biological father was abusive to him physically, he doesn’t need his stepdad doing that verbally. Yes it is the dude’s house, but it doesn’t give anyone the right to get mean when they drink. Please don’t “read between the lines”, cause you aint doing it right. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/272 "2010-12-21T20:24:09Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > That’s why around here people pretty much just learn to never trust that any footing is solid unless you can actually see it and it’s dry. It’s something you learn to just do automatically–I’ve actually noticed the way my leg muscles work differently when I’m walking on a patch of sidewalk that I can actually see is clear. Yeah, I know, I grew up in Wisconsin and have lived in the Midwest my whole life. When I have to walk a half-mile to or from the train station, usually in the dark when it’s winter, and people suck ass at shoveling and salting, either I take forever to get anywhere, or I resort to tougher measures. Even my nice boots weren’t enough to hold me up when I hit black ice in very dim conditions on what looked like a bare sidewalk, so I chose to go with extra security. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/273 "2010-12-21T20:25:53Z")
> [@deb2world](#): > > Shots From Gun: Really, what thread are you reading? Really where did you get that I told him to tell someone to “Fuck off”? You said, > [@deb2world](#): > > so there was probably a falling out cause this kid doesn’t take stuff lying down (I taught him well). You taught him not to “take stuff lying down.” To me, that implies getting confrontational. Because just leaving the house when stepdad was being an ass would, in fact, be taking it lying down, more or less. ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/274 "2010-12-21T20:32:41Z")
Shots from Gun, you are so cute trying to tell people how terrible they are. Really, I ain’t going to argue with you, there is so much more important things in life. You are just a spec in the cosmos. But let me remind you we are only here to gripe about things here rather than yell at the person who is getting our goat. You have a nice Christmas. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/275 "2010-12-21T20:46:16Z")
Thanks; you, too! ---
**Author:** ![lizardling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@lizardling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lizardling)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/276 "2010-12-21T21:21:23Z")
Being down with the flu sucks. I can’t really focus on anything except poke around online and let the pretty colors seep into my brain. ---
**Author:** ![gang\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f07891/32.png) [@gang\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gang_green)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/277 "2010-12-21T21:46:39Z")
All I could think was that you’d lost a cat and gained a teenager. Not a trade I’d go for. 😃 And damn my boss’s boss for the cracktastic peanut brittle. And my coworkers for the shortbread, gingerbread, and chocolates. And bagels. I feel fat. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/278 "2010-12-21T22:49:06Z")
> [@gang\_green](#): > > All I could think was that you’d lost a cat and gained a teenager. Not a trade I’d go for. 😃 > > And damn my boss’s boss for the cracktastic peanut brittle. And my coworkers for the shortbread, gingerbread, and chocolates. And bagels. > > I feel fat. :mad: 1. True, cats eat less, mind more and are better litter box trained.😃 2. My boss makes bark, as in dark-choco-rocky-road bark. (Gollum voice)“We hates them”. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/279 "2010-12-21T23:32:10Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > You taught him not to “take stuff lying down.” To me, that implies getting confrontational. Because just leaving the house when stepdad was being an ass would, in fact, be taking it lying down, more or less. Only in your world apparently. Not everyone goes from doormat to confrontational without trying out some of the 30 bazillion other things that might work. For example, removing oneself from the stepdad is not, in fact, taking it lying down since he isn’t having to “take” anything if he isn’t there. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/280 "2010-12-21T23:38:11Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > You said, > You taught him not to “take stuff lying down.” To me, that implies getting confrontational. Because just leaving the house when stepdad was being an ass would, in fact, be taking it lying down, more or less. Man, could you guys just get a room already? I know I’m becoming aroused by all this. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309.md?page=15)