# Ho-fucking-ho: Christmas Season mini-rants **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 29, 2010, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309 "2010-11-29T18:36:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2010, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/141 "2010-12-10T20:53:07Z")
Warm buttered gingerbread is _amazing_. ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2010, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/142 "2010-12-10T21:02:03Z")
> [@anya\_marie](#): > > What’s all this noise about the “War on Christmas?” How can there be a war declared on Christmas when the sales and ads for it start in September before i’ve bought my motherfucking Hallloween candy? Apparently some people think they’re being oppressed if anyone, anywhere, ever, ever intimates that there might be a celebration other than Christmas going on in December. Io, Saturnalia, I say! ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2010, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/143 "2010-12-10T21:04:44Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Not _everyone_ likes chocolate. :eek: I’ve been hiding my fixes so I don’t look despressed: [http://www.boston.com/news/health/blog/2010/04/chocolate\_blues.html](http://www.boston.com/news/health/blog/2010/04/chocolate_blues.html) ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2010, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/144 "2010-12-10T21:30:49Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > I don’t think a Memo from the head office can over-rule the wording of a coupon. Seems to be false advertising, I’d look into filing a complaint, but first write the Letter From Hell to Management. > **kaylasdad99** - no, not ice, but cold water. Aloe is also OK for minor burns. > **Kyla** Look at it this way- if they trashcan your resume becuase of a minor typo, you don’t want to be working for them anyway. > > **Imago** Christmas is most a secular holiday anyway, what with Frosty, Yule, Santa and what-not. > > **Freddy the Pig** Huh? Finding generic secular Frosty, Santa and even Seasons Greetings cards is a snap, they are everywhere. :dubious: > [@DrDeth](#): > > [White elephant gift exchange - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_elephant_gift_exchange) > > I enjoy them very much, and most people I know enjoy gingerbread. Not everyone of course. Not _everyone_ likes chocolate. :eek: > > I also like \*some \*fruitcakes. > > So, while it’s OK for you to say you don’t participate, speaking for everyone else is just a tad hypocritical, neh? Not that I don’t enjoy your posts, but are you filling in for **Shot From Guns** today, or something? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2010, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/145 "2010-12-10T21:58:09Z")
> [@NinjaChick](#): > > and also _no one likes gingerbread_ My boyfriend made gingerbread cookies for Thanksgiving. Really, they were more like gingerbread slabs: big, thick squares with homemade royal icing. Mmmmmmmmmmmn. So fucking good. > [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Not that I don’t enjoy your posts, but are you filling in for **Shot From Guns** today, or something? 😃 I’m like a fungus! Or possibly a virus. A vingus? ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2010, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/146 "2010-12-10T23:38:17Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Not that I don’t enjoy your posts, but are you filling in for **Shot From Guns** today, or something? 😃 Not in a million years\*,😛 but I felt too many posters were not getting any replies. I know I love a reply, so I felt they deserved one, also. Hey, it’s the season. I did learn something today, I have always heard them called “white elephant exchanges” thus “Yankee swaps” is a new term. \*Note the lack of nested quotes, etc. Geez, dude. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2010, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/147 "2010-12-11T00:56:15Z")
Dear ebay morons: if you’re wondering why your Canon cameras aren’t selling, it’s because you’re priced above retail. Mc_Fly_: anybody home? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2010, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/148 "2010-12-11T01:11:13Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I love gingerbread. I also love fruitcake - I’ve been holding back from buying one at Safeway after reading the calories (I’ll buy one, just not yet). Mmmm, dark, fruity, nutty fruitcake. > > ETA: HA! Awesome simulpost! I’ve been disappointed in grocery store fruitcake these past few years. Find a bakery and get fruitcake from there. Also, I love gingerbread, but it doesn’t love me…ginger is apparently yet another trigger for my IBS. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Real\_Regency\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@The\_Real\_Regency\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Real_Regency_Elf)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2010, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/149 "2010-12-11T01:42:46Z")
Wow, IKEA Woodbridge, could you guys have been any LESS prepared for the Julbord event tonight? When you’re charging $10 a person, it would be nice to have something to serve them besides meatballs and some dessert stuff. Well, to be fair, you did have other offerings but they ran out by 5:30. Having only three small buffet tables with about a foot between them really gave the proceedings that delightful cattle trough feel. And way to go for providing nothing but glasses to pour the steaming hot glögg into. My fingertips are still throbbing three hours later. I hope this was your first time putting on the Julbord and that you learned a few good lessons on how NOT to do it for next year. Not that I’ll be there to find out. _Idioter!_ ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2010, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/150 "2010-12-11T02:30:04Z")
It is twenty-fucking-three degrees out. Why are the vast majority of the coats at the mall lightweight? Some of the signage even _says_ that they’re lightweight. It’s only going to get colder, so why the hell aren’t they selling coats that would actually be useful for the season? I think I’m going to have to drive to LL Bean to actually find a weather-appropriate coat. Dammit. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2010, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/151 "2010-12-11T03:06:11Z")
Oh silly elf! Clothing stores don’t sell clothing for the CURRENT season, they sell clothing for NEXT season! You’re supposed to buy bathing suits in February or March, and you should purchase your heavy winter coat in September. Possibly August. Or at least that’s what the buyers think. They do this so that they can move as much merchandise out this year. The stores don’t want to have to hold clearance sales, and then pack and store clothes, because this year’s fashions almost certainly won’t sell next year. I wrap up in layers. I have one quite large cloak/ruana, and I usually wear a sweater vest and/or some shawls under it. However, I live in Texas, with only occasional winter forays to colder climates. But you might seriously consider adding a couple of layers on top of whatever you’ve got now. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2010, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/152 "2010-12-11T20:07:16Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Oh silly elf! Clothing stores don’t sell clothing for the CURRENT season, they sell clothing for NEXT season! You’re supposed to buy bathing suits in February or March, and you should purchase your heavy winter coat in September. Possibly August. Or at least that’s what the buyers think. They do this so that they can move as much merchandise out this year. The stores don’t want to have to hold clearance sales, and then pack and store clothes, because this year’s fashions almost certainly won’t sell next year. Except the coats in the stores right now are the same ones that have been in stores since September. Apparently stores believe we’re in for a mild winter, since they haven’t stocked any heavy coats since 2009. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2010, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/153 "2010-12-11T20:41:34Z")
I paid $7 for a very nice pair of pantyhose for Jim’s staff Christmas party yesterday - I think you all know how this rant goes - didn’t even make it out of the BEDROOM before they had a run in them. In other news, my dress looked quite nice, though. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2010, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/154 "2010-12-11T20:47:55Z")
OK, MSNCB, if you keep playing that stupid coffee maker as every other commercial (and I don’t exaggerate) I’m going to turn you off for good. Do you really think that is going to prompt someone to buy that fucking thing? ---
**Author:** ![pudytat72](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@pudytat72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pudytat72)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2010, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/155 "2010-12-12T16:52:15Z")
If the “white Elephant” gift exchange says $20.00 gift-do not go to the dollar store and buy 2 pieces of cheap crap. It is not funny to get that gift and know that you are stuck with it because nobody would think of “stealing” it. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2010, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/156 "2010-12-12T19:52:38Z")
> [@pudytat72](#): > > If the “white Elephant” gift exchange says $20.00 gift-do not go to the dollar store and buy 2 pieces of cheap crap. It is not funny to get that gift and know that you are stuck with it because nobody would think of “stealing” it. We did that last night, too, and oh yeah, I’m with you on that. It seems like every time we participate in one of these, we shop carefully and bring cool gifts (a kilogram of milk chocolate and a nice hand and foot cream kit this year) and come home with some real crap. We’re planning to re-gift the Shania Twain perfume that my husband got as a gift this year (surprisingly enough, no one lifted it from him). There were a couple of gifts that we (thank God) didn’t get stuck with that were exactly as you said - some socks, some cheap dollar store games, etc. You’ve got me wondering why we participate in them - if I want a handful of cheap socks, I know where to find them. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2010, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/157 "2010-12-13T19:35:03Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I think you all know how this rant goes - didn’t even make it out of the BEDROOM before they had a run in them. Old family secret: clear nailpolish will stop a run. (Technically, any color works, but clear is the least obtrusive, especially if you didn’t catch the run before it left your shoe or skirt.) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2010, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/158 "2010-12-13T19:51:14Z")
I forgot about that - I might have been able to catch the run, because it was still right at my heel. Oh well. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2010, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/159 "2010-12-13T20:33:06Z")
Yes, I learned the hard way that while red nail polish is equally effective at stopping the run, it also looks like you bled all over yourself. Se-xay. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2010, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309/160 "2010-12-13T20:34:58Z")
Well, at least you could tell people your hose got torn in a knife fight. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ho-fucking-ho-christmas-season-mini-rants/562309.md?page=9)