# Hold my beer! and other phrases that happen before disaster **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 5, 2016, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hold-my-beer-and-other-phrases-that-happen-before-disaster/751251 "2016-04-05T14:06:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2016, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hold-my-beer-and-other-phrases-that-happen-before-disaster/751251/41 "2016-04-06T08:56:59Z")
> [@quiltguy](#): > > “Badges? We don’t need no stinking badges!!!” “Directions? We don’t need no stinking directions!!!” “It’s foolproof.” “We males have an innate sense of direction.” ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2016, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hold-my-beer-and-other-phrases-that-happen-before-disaster/751251/42 "2016-04-06T09:21:23Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Male & female preludes to _romantic_ disaster: > > "I know, but she’s so _hot!"_ > > and > > “Nobody but me understands him!” “I’m going to leave her.” ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2016, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hold-my-beer-and-other-phrases-that-happen-before-disaster/751251/43 "2016-04-06T10:06:28Z")
“Right. Now close the cylinder and spin it quick. Then…” “Yeah, I’m sure it’s safe to smoke in here.” “Of course I can tell a shark fin from a dolphin fin. Dive in.” ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2016, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hold-my-beer-and-other-phrases-that-happen-before-disaster/751251/44 "2016-04-06T10:24:50Z")
It isn’t loaded… ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2016, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hold-my-beer-and-other-phrases-that-happen-before-disaster/751251/45 "2016-04-06T13:08:58Z")
Honey, do you think this outfit makes me look fat? note - there is no way a man can answer that one without disaster. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2016, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hold-my-beer-and-other-phrases-that-happen-before-disaster/751251/46 "2016-04-06T18:06:00Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > “I can take him.” > > “What are you, chicken?” > > “If it was dangerous it wouldn’t be legal.” > > “Don’t be a wimp.” > Male & female preludes to _romantic_ disaster: > > "I know, but she’s so _hot!"_ > > and > > “Nobody but me understands him!” Didn’t work out too well for [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ly7Laj8Yp6w) guy. (4:00 in–violent clip) ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2016, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hold-my-beer-and-other-phrases-that-happen-before-disaster/751251/47 "2016-04-06T18:11:14Z")
I suppose this is less Darwinian stupidity and more epically bad luck, but… “Hey, is this thing supposed to do this?” ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2016, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hold-my-beer-and-other-phrases-that-happen-before-disaster/751251/48 "2016-04-06T18:46:10Z")
“Warning: Do Not Press This Button” ---
**Author:** ![Rysto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecccb3/32.png) [@Rysto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysto)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2016, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hold-my-beer-and-other-phrases-that-happen-before-disaster/751251/49 "2016-04-06T20:08:37Z")
“Yes, of course I turned the power off.” “You worry too much. This will only take a minute.” ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2016, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hold-my-beer-and-other-phrases-that-happen-before-disaster/751251/50 "2016-04-10T17:02:49Z")
No one will even notice. ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2016, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hold-my-beer-and-other-phrases-that-happen-before-disaster/751251/51 "2016-04-10T22:21:01Z")
“Can’t help it – I’m a born lever-puller.” (_Yellow Submarine_) ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2016, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hold-my-beer-and-other-phrases-that-happen-before-disaster/751251/52 "2016-04-11T01:09:36Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > “Here, hold my glass of wine.” We had some friends over recently and my older son insisted that we had to show off our party trick to them. The party trick involves propane, balloons and a source of ignition. All the adults had consumed a glass or two by then. I wasn’t actually very keen on doing the trick but my son insisted. So he set the trick up and it reached the point where my help was required so without thinking I said to the guy visitor: “Hold my Shiraz…” and he quipped, “… and watch this!” I totally lost it. Middle class rednecks indeed. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2016, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hold-my-beer-and-other-phrases-that-happen-before-disaster/751251/53 "2016-04-11T01:16:18Z")
“Come on, I’ve done this so many times I could do it with my eyes closed” “Don’t _you_ tell me what I’m not supposed to do…” “And exactly _who_ is in charge here, _(inferior rank title)_? Do it, _(other underling’s name)_!” “That’s all fine for the training class when you have all the time and all the things you need – _this_ is how you really do it, watch…” ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2016, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hold-my-beer-and-other-phrases-that-happen-before-disaster/751251/54 "2016-04-11T03:55:14Z")
“Just this one time!” “Directions? Who reads directions!” “Inflammable means it won’t burn.” ---
**Author:** ![Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harvey_The_Heavy)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2016, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hold-my-beer-and-other-phrases-that-happen-before-disaster/751251/55 "2016-04-11T06:36:03Z")
“Only one way to find out…” ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2016, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hold-my-beer-and-other-phrases-that-happen-before-disaster/751251/56 "2016-04-11T14:44:07Z")
“Oh, they’re just covering their asses, the manual is wrong.” And on a related note: “Because we’ve always done it that way; now hold this wire while I flip the breakers…” ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2016, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hold-my-beer-and-other-phrases-that-happen-before-disaster/751251/57 "2016-04-11T16:05:23Z")
I’ve only had two beers, officer. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2016, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hold-my-beer-and-other-phrases-that-happen-before-disaster/751251/58 "2016-04-11T17:50:21Z")
" I do. " ---
**Author:** ![Whiskey\_Dickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc348/32.png) [@Whiskey\_Dickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiskey_Dickens)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2016, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hold-my-beer-and-other-phrases-that-happen-before-disaster/751251/59 "2016-04-11T18:18:49Z")
My family was on summer holiday, all of us loaded into the truck and camper on a little dirt road in the Rocky mountains. The road seemed to be getting progressively more rough and treacherous. Coming to a particularly ugly obstacle, the driver (my uncle, I believe) deadpanned “I saw this in a cartoon once, and I think I can do it.” It became a family catch phrase for when you had naïve optimism and were about to try something stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2016, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hold-my-beer-and-other-phrases-that-happen-before-disaster/751251/60 "2016-04-11T18:41:15Z")
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