# Holiday Pop Songs that are a crime against ears **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 29, 2001, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holiday-pop-songs-that-are-a-crime-against-ears/96025 "2001-11-29T22:38:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2001, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holiday-pop-songs-that-are-a-crime-against-ears/96025/1 "2001-11-29T22:38:07Z")
I don’t even know who sings this, but the office radio just played the song with the chorus: _“Last Christmas, I gave you my heart/The very next day/You gave it away”_ Is this a song about organ donation? Satanic rituals involving human organs? What the monkey is this song about? It’s bloody horrible. I’m also gonna vote for Madonna’s version of “Santa Baby” from the first Very Special Christmas album. Like fingernails on a chalkboard, that one. To Whitney Houston’s cover of _“Do you hear what I hear”_, I can only respond “Well, if you hear yourself, trying to hit every possible note in the history of sound in the course of this Christmas classic, then the answer is yes, I hear what you hear. I also smell the dumpster in the alley, see the abandoned warehouse across the street, and taste the Philly cheesesteak I had for lunch today.” C’mon, Teeming Millions, don’t let me down. Mods, feel free to move this to the Pit if it’s more appropriate. I’m counting on Uke Ike to have some Very Special Christmas Atrocities for us, though. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2001, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holiday-pop-songs-that-are-a-crime-against-ears/96025/2 "2001-11-29T23:04:04Z")
Oooh, I’ve got one! Bob Seger’s cover of “The Little Drummer Boy”! God, that’s horrible! A sandy, scratchy voice grating away in the wrong key! Gives me nightmares just thinking about it. ---
**Author:** ![bibliophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@bibliophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophile)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holiday-pop-songs-that-are-a-crime-against-ears/96025/3 "2001-11-30T03:16:39Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by magdalene \* \*\*I don’t even know who sings this, but the office radio just played the song with the chorus: _“Last Christmas, I gave you my heart/The very next day/You gave it away”_ Is this a song about organ donation? Satanic rituals involving human organs? What the monkey is this song about? It’s bloody horrible. i’m not sure if it’s wham or not, but that’s definitely george michael singing. i have a couple that make me want to jump in front of a train. i don’t know who sings this one, but its the woman going on and on about her day, and the chorus is something like, “merry xmas, merry xmas, but i think i’ll miss this one this year.” i have no idea who this beast is, but her voice makes me want to jam a pair of scissors in my ears. i wish mariah carey would stop singing altogether, especially during the holidays. it would be a great gift to the entire world. “all i want for christmas” is for her to stuff a sock in it and go far,far,far away for a long long time. and although i laughed the first few times i heard it, i’ve really had enough of the hannaukah [sorry, i can’t spell] song. both versions. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holiday-pop-songs-that-are-a-crime-against-ears/96025/4 "2001-11-30T03:34:27Z")
I [win](http://www.claus.com/singalong/flash_sugarplum.shtml). It’s not precisely “pop”, but: I need to cook all day so don’t get in my way you’ll be sorry if you do my kung-fu will split a tree in two! In a Christmas song? Horror of horrors. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holiday-pop-songs-that-are-a-crime-against-ears/96025/5 "2001-11-30T04:07:18Z")
I have three words : N\*SYNC Christmas Album ---
**Author:** ![JubilationTCornpone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee59a6/32.png) [@JubilationTCornpone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JubilationTCornpone)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holiday-pop-songs-that-are-a-crime-against-ears/96025/6 "2001-11-30T04:13:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by magdalene \* > \*\*I don’t even know who sings this, but the office radio just played the song with the chorus: > > _“Last Christmas, I gave you my heart/The very next day/You gave it away”_ \*\* Gadzooks! That’s the very first song that I thought of when I saw the title of this thread. Y’know the worst part about this putrid ditty? Apart from the first line, it has virtually nothing to do with Christmas! Not a legitimate holiday song, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![RaCha\_ar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@RaCha\_ar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaCha_ar)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holiday-pop-songs-that-are-a-crime-against-ears/96025/7 "2001-11-30T04:32:50Z")
I HATE the Wings Christmas song. “Sim~ply ha~ving a wonderful Christ~mas~time!” GAH! Paul McCartney, what _happened_ to you? My mother would kill me for saying this, but I have _no_ fondness for the David Bowie/Bing Crosby duet of “Little Drummer Boy.” Mom acquired this last year on a CD-ROM enhanced CD and was enraptured by it for a week, playing it on a constant loop on our computer. I steered clear of it whenever possible, gah. The Very Special Christmas series of albums, which have a variety of artists performing a WIDE variety of songs, have some gems but some things that are absolutely horrendous. I can’t seem to find the collection that it’s on, but one of the VSC albums my parents own has an all-star rap carol, which is really… what’s the word… ah, yes. Craptastic. The Smashing Pumpkins’ “Christmastime” is another deserving of this title. I LOVE SP, don’t get me wrong, but Billy Corgan’s nasal whine is not suited to Christmas cheer. [The collection this song comes from](http://www.cdnow.com/cgi-bin/mserver/SID=655623682/pagename=/RP/CDN/FIND/album.html/ArtistID=VA-VERY+SPECIAL+CHRISTMAS/ITEMID=417471) is pretty awful in general. And I get to hear it all when I go home on the 20th. Hooray. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![EandCDad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e274bd/32.png) [@EandCDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EandCDad)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holiday-pop-songs-that-are-a-crime-against-ears/96025/8 "2001-11-30T04:42:08Z")
Bon Jovi’s “Backdoor Santa” really puts me in the old Christmas spirit. New Kids on the Block “Funky, Funky Christmas.” This song may be the worst piece of recorded music in the history of civilization. Madonna with the aforementioned “Santa Baby.” ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holiday-pop-songs-that-are-a-crime-against-ears/96025/9 "2001-11-30T05:35:08Z")
Okay, I must say that the barking dogs singing “Jingle Bells” has purely been annoying to me for years. On the other hand, though, it’s also kind of funny; which shows me once again that most things that annoy me are usually, on second glance, pretty funny too. ---
**Author:** ![Albert\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Albert\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Albert_Rose)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holiday-pop-songs-that-are-a-crime-against-ears/96025/10 "2001-11-30T05:40:43Z")
I heard _Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer_ and _All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth_ (complete with the inevitable “Merry Christmas! And a Happy New Year!”) twice while waiting in a bookstore for a date to show up. When she arrived, she commented on the pale, ashen complexion and the shaking fits I seemed to posess. Now that **Creaky** has mentioned _Barking Dogs Jingle Bells_, I may now express my confused approval of that one. My dog has the most puzzled ear-raises while the “song” is playing. She’s very cute. ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holiday-pop-songs-that-are-a-crime-against-ears/96025/11 "2001-11-30T05:54:27Z")
What? Ten posts and not one mention of **Jingle Bell Rock**??? ---
**Author:** ![RaCha\_ar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@RaCha\_ar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaCha_ar)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holiday-pop-songs-that-are-a-crime-against-ears/96025/12 "2001-11-30T06:01:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OttoDaFe \* > \*\*What? Ten posts and not one mention of **Jingle Bell Rock**??? \*\* I love that song. ::sniffle:: ☹ ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holiday-pop-songs-that-are-a-crime-against-ears/96025/13 "2001-11-30T06:59:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by saffostarr \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by OttoDaFe \* > > \*\*What? Ten posts and not one mention of **Jingle Bell Rock**??? \*\* > > I love that song. ::sniffle:: ☹ \*\* Discreet {{}} to **saffostarr** I base that comment mainly on my experience sitting in the Student Union around Christmas years ago. Someone put **Jingle Bell Rock** on the jukebox (it was _many_ years ago)–you never saw a room empty so fast! ---
**Author:** ![warmgun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecccb3/32.png) [@warmgun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/warmgun)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holiday-pop-songs-that-are-a-crime-against-ears/96025/14 "2001-11-30T08:06:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > **I [win](http://www.claus.com/singalong/flash_sugarplum.shtml).** It’s bad. _Very_ bad! But, not a pop song. **I** [win](http://blueeyes.topcities.com/xmas2.html)! ---
**Author:** ![warmgun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecccb3/32.png) [@warmgun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/warmgun)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holiday-pop-songs-that-are-a-crime-against-ears/96025/15 "2001-11-30T08:10:25Z")
Also, that ‘Run,Run Rudolf’ thing where the little girl wants a doll that can, “cry, drink, sleep and _wet_”. ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holiday-pop-songs-that-are-a-crime-against-ears/96025/16 "2001-11-30T15:01:42Z")
Sweet God. I alternately love and hate you guys. I tend to forgive a lot of the Very Special Christmas albums because of Sting’s gorgeous rendition of that one song about the Angel Gabriel. Getting back to old school, “Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree” and “Feliz Navidad” are causing my eardrums to beg for mercy this morning. The title of “Backdoor Santa” just makes me giggle. I mean, who DOESN’T want one of those at Christmas time? ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holiday-pop-songs-that-are-a-crime-against-ears/96025/17 "2001-11-30T15:55:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bibliophile \* > \*\* > i don’t know who sings this one, but its the woman going on and on about her day, and the chorus is something like, “merry xmas, merry xmas, but i think i’ll miss this one this year.” i have no idea who this beast is, but her voice makes me want to jam a pair of scissors in my ears. > > \*\* That would of course be The Waitress’s immortal “Christmas Wrappings”. I remember when they played that contantly- and I never minded it that much, but mostly because I knew every minute I was listening to it was a minute I was not listening to “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer”. Oh, and isn’t it possible for us to reach out to the poor and destitute of the world without the creation of such things as “Feed the World (Let them Know it’s Christmastime”. Good cause (well, I hope it ended up doing some good, beyond making Bob Geldolf a knight) very bad song. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holiday-pop-songs-that-are-a-crime-against-ears/96025/18 "2001-11-30T16:04:33Z")
I LOVE The Waitresses’ “Christmas Wrapping.” \ Ah, well, one man’s beloved Christmas song is another man’s aural torture. In that spirit, may I nominate a sthe Ultimate Putrid Christmas Tunes “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” “Jingle Bell Rock” The Singing Dogs barking “Jingle Bells” Any song sung by off-key children ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holiday-pop-songs-that-are-a-crime-against-ears/96025/19 "2001-11-30T16:39:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by magdalene \* > \*\*I tend to forgive a lot of the Very Special Christmas albums because of Sting’s gorgeous rendition of that one song about the Angel Gabriel. > \*\* You know, I was going to post that, with almost the exact wording. That song is just incredibly cool. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holiday-pop-songs-that-are-a-crime-against-ears/96025/20 "2001-11-30T19:44:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OttoDaFe \* > \*\*What? Ten posts and not one mention of **Jingle Bell Rock**??? \*\* I don’t really mind the song, although I tend to think of the intro to _Lethal Weapon_ more than I do Christmas when I hear this song. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holiday-pop-songs-that-are-a-crime-against-ears/96025.md?page=2)