# Holloway Parents, get a grip. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 17, 2006, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holloway-parents-get-a-grip/344934 "2006-02-17T12:42:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2006, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holloway-parents-get-a-grip/344934/41 "2006-02-19T18:41:23Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > If you want to attack the media for keeping this story alive, I’ll give you that. But there’d be no media attention without their [del]horror movie script[/del]lawsuit. It’s the parents who instigated things, not the media (not that I’ve given them a pass, as you’ll note above). > [@PunditLisa](#): > > But I think it’s unseemly to attack people who have borne more pain than you’ll ever know and act like you are somehow above all that. More pain than I’ve ever know? Hardly. I’ve not had a pain-free life, what makes you think that? Having your daughter missing, while pretty shitty, is _hardly_ the most painful thing in the world, by a long chalk. I can think of lots of (what I would consider) more emotionally painful things , some of which I’ve experienced. But OK, keep telling yourself only the parents of Missing Pretty White Girls have ever felt pain. “You can’t know the pain!” is cute coming from angsty Goth girls, but as an argument against calling people on their mediawhoring? Not so convincing, I’m afraid. > [@PunditLisa](#): > > It’s akin to Tom Cruise…\ OK, now you’re just being mean! ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2006, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holloway-parents-get-a-grip/344934/42 "2006-02-19T21:43:09Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Having your daughter missing, while pretty shitty, is _hardly_ the most painful thing in the world, by a long chalk. I can think of lots of (what I would consider) more emotionally painful things , some of which I’ve experienced. I can’t think of a single thing that would be worse. Seriously. Do you have kids or are you just imagining what it would feel like? I’ll bet if we do a poll of parents, having your child go missing would top the list of “Most Awful Things Imaginable.” Hmm, IMHO thread? > [@MrDibble](#): > > But OK, keep telling yourself only the parents of Missing Pretty White Girls have ever felt pain. “You can’t know the pain!” is cute coming from angsty Goth girls, but as an argument against calling people on their mediawhoring? Not so convincing, I’m afraid. I don’t know where you got the impression that I am the champion for cute, white girls. ANY parent whose child is missing is living hell on earth. I wish there was MORE media attention devoted to missing/exploited children, be they white, black or what have you. If you’ve experienced horrendous things in your life that are on the level with having a child murdered, I’m terribly sorry. Truly. That does not negate the fact that the Twittys deserve our deepest _sympathy_. > [@MrDibble](#): > > OK, now you’re just being mean! Ah, well, it was either Tom Cruise or Hilter and I was feeling bitchy. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2006, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holloway-parents-get-a-grip/344934/43 "2006-02-20T03:33:16Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > I can’t think of a single thing that would be worse. Seriously. Do you have kids or are you just imagining what it would feel like? I’ll bet if we do a poll of parents, having your child go missing would top the list of “Most Awful Things Imaginable.” Hmm, IMHO thread? I have a 14-month old girl sleeping in the room next door. If she were to vanish, it would be an awful thing. I would be devestated. But it would not be the worst thing ever to happen to me personally, nor would it turn me into an attention-seeking mediawhore. > [@PunditLisa](#): > > I don’t know where you got the impression that I am the champion for cute, white girls. ANY parent whose child is missing is living hell on earth. I wish there was MORE media attention devoted to missing/exploited children, be they white, black or what have you. I agree, of course. But there are positive ways to engage the media, and then there are negative ways. Please understand, it’s _not_ the fact that the Twitties want their case to not be forgotten that I have a problem with, it’s the **particular tactic they’ve chosen to use** that I find reprehensible. > [@PunditLisa](#): > > If you’ve experienced horrendous things in your life that are on the level with having a child murdered, I’m terribly sorry. Truly. That does not negate the fact that the Twittys deserve our deepest _sympathy_. The twitties deserve sympathy for having their child _missing_, presumed murdered. I have never said any different. Go back to \*\*my very first words \*\*in this thread. But there are, IMO, limits to sympathy. This lawsuit is beyond those limits. I liken it to the organisation in the UK that campaigns for the (legitimate) rights for fathers. Public stunts, OK. Breaking into Buckingham Palace dressed as Batman, not OK. Bringing a misdirected lawsuit just to get attention should be a crime. > [@PunditLisa](#): > > Ah, well, it was either Tom Cruise or Hilter and I was feeling bitchy. Next time, Hitler! ---
**Author:** ![cmosdes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@cmosdes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmosdes)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2006, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holloway-parents-get-a-grip/344934/44 "2006-02-20T04:32:09Z")
When I first heard about this lawsuit I was in total agreement with what **Mr. Dibble** is saying. But it occurred to me the same thing that **Martin Hyde** said (even before he said it!). I’m torn between thinking the parents should be given a little leeway to try absolutely everything to find their daughter and thinking that the defendants should be allowed to be left alone. They are innocent, after all, as they have not been proven guilty. To anyone thinking this lawsuit is justifiable from the perspective that they are just grieving parents trying to gain closure, how would you feel if you were completely innocent and some freaked out parents kept hounding you? To you, the parents would look like media whores. However, if you believe these guys to be guilty, then it is easy to see the parents as just grieving the loss of their daughter and trying to do whatever they can to gain some closure. I can certainly see both sides, and I don’t know which one is right. Given the feebleness of the lawsuit, I think the parents should just let it go. They obviously have very, very little hope with this and they should move on. I fully recognize this is easy for me to say as I haven’t lost a daughter. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2006, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holloway-parents-get-a-grip/344934/45 "2006-02-20T05:11:43Z")
Let me get one thing clear: I can _undertsand_ those who say that, having lost a child, the Twitties are entitled to use any and all means to gain closure. I just don’t _agree_ with that. Any and all means to find her, sure, but to gain closure? Not so much. The two are not synonymous, nor should parents’ feelings override sensible application of the law system. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2006, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holloway-parents-get-a-grip/344934/46 "2006-02-20T06:29:07Z")
If the NY judge doesn’t allow the civil suit, will the Dutch boy & his family be able to file charges for slander? ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2006, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holloway-parents-get-a-grip/344934/47 "2006-02-20T14:22:33Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > If the NY judge doesn’t allow the civil suit, will the Dutch boy & his family be able to file charges for slander? It would be libel, and I’m pretty sure court filings are exempt. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holloway-parents-get-a-grip/344934.md?page=2)