# Holy carp! The end is near. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 15, 2003, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-carp-the-end-is-near/161639 "2003-03-15T19:43:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2003, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-carp-the-end-is-near/161639/1 "2003-03-15T19:43:51Z")
Or so said this [talking fish](http://www.nytimes.com/2003/03/15/nyregion/15FISH.html?ex=1048309200&en=b0f85b8140a241d1&ei=5062&partner=GOOGLE). > [@](#): > > Mr. Rosen panicked and tried to kill the fish with a machete-size knife. But the fish bucked so wildly that Mr. Rosen wound up cutting his own thumb and was taken to the hospital by ambulance. The fish flopped off the counter and back into the carp box and was butchered by Mr. Nivelo and sold. He _sold_ the talking fish? ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2003, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-carp-the-end-is-near/161639/2 "2003-03-15T19:47:09Z")
And just why is it that you find it hard to believe that a **'Carp** might be learned in the Tanakh, **Manny**? 😉 (We **really** need a “ducks and runs” smiley! :)) ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2003, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-carp-the-end-is-near/161639/3 "2003-03-15T19:55:30Z")
Damn, you beat me to it. Can you believe this was on the _front page_ of the Times this morning? You’d think it’d be buried in the back pages of the Daily News, along with the ketchup-stain-in-the-shape-of-the-Virgin-Mary articles. “…a carp like that, you don’t eat all at once!” ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2003, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-carp-the-end-is-near/161639/4 "2003-03-15T20:14:38Z")
Hmm… strong market interest among Jewish people in talking fish. Astro gets busy writing up design patent for “Cantor Carp” the talking-singing Hebrew Fish" using existing [“Billy Bass” technology](http://www.4billybass-thesingingfish.com/). But what should it say? What should it sing? A mitzvah? Yiddish folk music? So many decisions. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2003, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-carp-the-end-is-near/161639/5 "2003-03-15T20:15:21Z")
Heh. “He looked around to see if the voice had come from the slop sink, the other room or the shop’s cat.” Can’t blame the guy. I mean, if a _cat_ is speaking Hebrew, that’s an entirely different matter. Happens all the time. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2003, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-carp-the-end-is-near/161639/6 "2003-03-15T20:25:19Z")
I can’t tell you how happy I am with this story. To see an Isaac Bashevis Singer tale reported in the New York Times has just absolutely made my day. I can tell from the transliterations that the fish was speaking Hebrew with a Yiddish accent, too, which makes me even happier. It’s a beautiful sunny day, the snow is melting, the Giants are about to play a spring training game, and possessed fish are telling us to repent in Hebrew on the front page of the New York Times. This day rules. Good shabbas! ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2003, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-carp-the-end-is-near/161639/7 "2003-03-15T20:38:53Z")
Ann, Ann! Come! quick as you can! There’s a fish that _talks_ In the frying-pan. Out of the fat, As clear as glass, He put up his mouth And moaned ‘Alas!’ Oh, most mournful, ‘Alas, alack!’ Then turned to his sizzling, And sank him back – Walter de la Mare (1873-1956) ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2003, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-carp-the-end-is-near/161639/8 "2003-03-15T20:40:10Z")
I personally think this is a load of crappie. It could be real, but I trout it. Salmon is pulling your leg, **manny**. Once you see this story for what it is, you’ll be singing a different tuna. Of course it’s easy for me to say perched on my high horse. ---
**Author:** ![stypticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f05b48/32.png) [@stypticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stypticus)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2003, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-carp-the-end-is-near/161639/9 "2003-03-15T20:55:59Z")
Come on, **Hamlet** , I think you’re floundering. Bassically, this story is about a carp that stopped being koi and showed its superior schooling. I don’t think that’s fishy at all; I think it takes a lot of guts to swim against the current and make that kind of statement. This fish should be lauded, given a plaice in history; instead it’s tossed off the scales of justice with nary a second glance. That’s eely unfair. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2003, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-carp-the-end-is-near/161639/10 "2003-03-15T21:02:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stypticus \* > \*\*Come on, **Hamlet** , I think you’re floundering. Bassically, this story is about a carp that stopped being koi and showed its superior schooling. I don’t think that’s fishy at all; I think it takes a lot of guts to swim against the current and make that kind of statement. This fish should be lauded, given a plaice in history; instead it’s tossed off the scales of justice with nary a second glance. That’s eely unfair. \*\* So true – It was, after all, only trying to save their soles! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2003, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-carp-the-end-is-near/161639/11 "2003-03-15T21:04:49Z")
Crab. Now they’re starting with the puns already. Herring those jokes made my skin crawl. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2003, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-carp-the-end-is-near/161639/12 "2003-03-15T21:07:09Z")
Oh, they’re just doing it for the halibut. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2003, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-carp-the-end-is-near/161639/13 "2003-03-15T21:12:04Z")
Didn’t I see this on the Simpsons? “Knife goes in, guts come out…” ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2003, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-carp-the-end-is-near/161639/14 "2003-03-15T21:40:41Z")
Not to _cast_ any aspersions on what’s been said, or to open up a new can of _worms_, but how does a _baited_ question like this differ from _trolling_? Or should we just pull a tarpon it and forget it, instead of _floundering_ around with it? ---
**Author:** ![stypticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f05b48/32.png) [@stypticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stypticus)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2003, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-carp-the-end-is-near/161639/15 "2003-03-15T21:47:58Z")
I better reel this one in before it gets out of hand. The OP sounds surprised that he sold the carp. I’m not surprised that he sold it, just surprised that he didn’t charge more for it. Some people would pay a lot of money to eat “holy carp.” ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2003, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-carp-the-end-is-near/161639/16 "2003-03-15T21:51:06Z")
Regarding the puns: **“FIN.”** Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_The\_Diver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Buck\_The\_Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_The_Diver)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-carp-the-end-is-near/161639/17 "2003-03-16T02:39:39Z")
I think all youse guys should _clam_ up. Or am I just being _shellfish_? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-carp-the-end-is-near/161639/18 "2003-03-16T03:37:58Z")
I agree. Cut the puns; I’m getting a haddock. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-carp-the-end-is-near/161639/19 "2003-03-16T03:48:09Z")
Can we get back to the OP? I think the NYT swallowed that fish story hook, line, and sinker. D’oh!!! ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-carp-the-end-is-near/161639/20 "2003-03-16T04:11:00Z")
Maybe I’m just a sucker, but I believe it was a true Act of Cod. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-carp-the-end-is-near/161639.md?page=2)