# Holy Cow! Or Xenu. Whatever. CHRISTIAN SCIENTOLOGISTS? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 31, 2007, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-cow-or-xenu-whatever-christian-scientologists/424794 "2007-10-31T22:26:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-cow-or-xenu-whatever-christian-scientologists/424794/1 "2007-10-31T22:26:06Z")
> **[Some Christian pastors embrace Scientology - CNN.com](https://www.cnn.com/2007/US/10/31/christian.scientology/index.html)** > > Some Christian congregations, particularly in lower income, urban areas, are turning to an unlikely source for help -- the Church of Scientology. In light of the many threads, both past and present, which attempt to answer the question, in its many varied forms, What does it mean to be Christian? ; apparently, anything you want. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-cow-or-xenu-whatever-christian-scientologists/424794/2 "2007-10-31T22:31:55Z")
There are Christian Witches out there too. I met a few when I hung out with the Pagan crowd. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-cow-or-xenu-whatever-christian-scientologists/424794/3 "2007-10-31T22:33:39Z")
I saw that. Doesn’t make sense to me, but hey, I’m barely in charge of myself. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-cow-or-xenu-whatever-christian-scientologists/424794/4 "2007-10-31T22:43:50Z")
Look everybody, **Contrapuntal** is the Messiah and he’s here to tell us which people are the Right Christians and which ones are the Wrong Christians! Hooray! We’ve been waiting for thousands of years for you to enlighten us, O Heavenly King **Contrapuntal**! Where have you been? Wait, on second thought, maybe you’re just a judgmental jackass and the only way to soothe your guilty conscience is to mount your high horse and play No True Scotsman. Blow it out your ass. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-cow-or-xenu-whatever-christian-scientologists/424794/5 "2007-10-31T22:52:45Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] Look everybody, **Contrapuntal** is the Messiah and he’s here to tell us which people are the Right Christians and which ones are the Wrong Christians! Hooray! We’ve been waiting for thousands of years for you to enlighten us, O Heavenly King **Contrapuntal**! Where have you been? Wait, on second thought, maybe you’re just a judgmental jackass and the only way to soothe your guilty conscience is to mount your high horse and play No True Scotsman. Blow it out your ass. [/QUOTE] No. I’m saying that whatever definition of Christianity you want is just fine. Even if it involves evil alien overlords. And you can blow it out your jumbo jet spaceship porthole. While you are turning the other cheek. Away from me, preferably. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-cow-or-xenu-whatever-christian-scientologists/424794/6 "2007-10-31T22:56:17Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > Wait, on second thought, maybe you’re just a judgmental jackass and the only way to soothe your guilty conscience is to mount your high horse and play No True Scotsman. 😕 Where’d this come from? I didn’t realize there was anything “judgmental” about finding it contradictory for a Christian to espouse Scientology. I mean, they’ve got like, extremely different theological belief systems and all. If a Christian pastor adopted a Muslim theology that ranked Jesus, Muhammad and Moses together as merely mortal prophets (with Muhammad the most important), but claimed still to be a believing Christian, I’d think that was weird too. Am I a “judgmental jackass”? ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-cow-or-xenu-whatever-christian-scientologists/424794/7 "2007-10-31T23:01:25Z")
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal] No. I’m saying that whatever definition of Christianity you want is just fine. Even if it involves evil alien overlords. [/QUOTE] That’s why you Pitted them, then. OK, it all makes sense now. If you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go see if the laws of gravity apply here, because apparently I’m in the Twilight Zone. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-cow-or-xenu-whatever-christian-scientologists/424794/8 "2007-10-31T23:05:50Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] That’s why you Pitted them, then. OK, it all makes sense now. If you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go see if the laws of gravity apply here, because apparently I’m in the Twilight Zone. [/QUOTE] That was ironical. But how about you answer **Kimstu**? He gave the straight version. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-cow-or-xenu-whatever-christian-scientologists/424794/9 "2007-10-31T23:08:38Z")
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal] That was ironical. But how about you answer **Kimstu**? He gave the straight version. [/QUOTE] OK. > [@Kimstu](#): > > I mean, they’ve got like, extremely different theological belief systems and all. If a Christian pastor adopted a Muslim theology that ranked Jesus, Muhammad and Moses together as merely mortal prophets (with Muhammad the most important), but claimed still to be a believing Christian, I’d think that was weird too. Am I a “judgmental jackass”? If you Pitted that pastor for it, yes. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-cow-or-xenu-whatever-christian-scientologists/424794/10 "2007-10-31T23:11:22Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] OK. If you Pitted that pastor for it, yes. [/QUOTE] I think the term "judgmental’ as a pejorative is thrown about a bit too freely these days. As I asked a woman of my acquaintance recently “I’m judgmental? And you’re not? OK, how about I bend you over that davenport and have a go or three? No? I’m not good enough for you?” ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-cow-or-xenu-whatever-christian-scientologists/424794/11 "2007-10-31T23:22:38Z")
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal] I think the term "judgmental’ as a pejorative is thrown about a bit too freely these days. As I asked a woman of my acquaintance recently “I’m judgmental? And you’re not? OK, how about I bend you over that davenport and have a go or three? No? I’m not good enough for you?” [/QUOTE] OK, so now that you’re done jacking off, is this a Pitting or is it not? ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-cow-or-xenu-whatever-christian-scientologists/424794/12 "2007-10-31T23:31:26Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] OK, so now that you’re done jacking off, is this a Pitting or is it not? [/QUOTE] Yes, it’s a pitting, and no, I wasn’t jacking off. Everyone makes judgments about other people all day every day. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being judgmental. It is a primary survival skill. And if Christians can be Scientologists, they can be just about any damn thing. Do you know anything at all about Scientology? Try [here](http://www.xenu.net/) for starters. Try to reconcile any of that with any Christian theology. Start with the evil alien overlord who has control over human souls. That’ll go over big with Jesus _et. al._ ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-cow-or-xenu-whatever-christian-scientologists/424794/13 "2007-10-31T23:39:07Z")
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal] Yes, it’s a pitting, and no, I wasn’t jacking off. Everyone makes judgments about other people all day every day. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being judgmental. It is a primary survival skill. And if Christians can be Scientologists, they can be just about any damn thing. Do you know anything at all about Scientology? Try [here](http://www.xenu.net/) for starters. Try to reconcile any of that with any Christian theology. Start with the evil alien overlord who has control over human souls. That’ll go over big with Jesus _et. al._ [/QUOTE] You obviously live in your world, and no amount of travel at light speed will ever get me there. Unsubscribing. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-cow-or-xenu-whatever-christian-scientologists/424794/14 "2007-10-31T23:47:38Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] You obviously live in your world, and no amount of travel at light speed will ever get me there. Unsubscribing. [/QUOTE] OK then. Say hi to Xenu for me. He’s at least 75 million years old, (that’s when he brought billions of people to Earth in DC-8’s, stacked them in volcanoes, and blew them up with H–Bombs,) but I’ll bet he’s still going strong. ---
**Author:** ![Nancarrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c37758/32.png) [@Nancarrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nancarrow)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2007, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-cow-or-xenu-whatever-christian-scientologists/424794/15 "2007-11-01T00:01:47Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] You obviously live in your world, and no amount of travel at light speed will ever get me there. Unsubscribing. [/QUOTE] So you’ve got nothing, then. ---
**Author:** ![PetW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@PetW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PetW)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2007, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-cow-or-xenu-whatever-christian-scientologists/424794/16 "2007-11-01T00:02:52Z")
As a Christian Atheist, I really find the OP to be insulting. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2007, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-cow-or-xenu-whatever-christian-scientologists/424794/17 "2007-11-01T00:05:18Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] Look everybody, **Contrapuntal** is the Messiah and he’s here to tell us which people are the Right Christians and which ones are the Wrong Christians! Hooray! We’ve been waiting for thousands of years for you to enlighten us, O Heavenly King **Contrapuntal**! Where have you been? Wait, on second thought, maybe you’re just a judgmental jackass and the only way to soothe your guilty conscience is to mount your high horse and play No True Scotsman. Blow it out your ass. [/QUOTE] Dude, do you know ANYTHING at all about Scientology? ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2007, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-cow-or-xenu-whatever-christian-scientologists/424794/18 "2007-11-01T00:06:42Z")
It’s times like these when we need the Old True Church back (and these are the only times). We need someone to open a can Christian whoop ass on these nutcases. **Contra** –I think you may have hit a nerve. **Fetus** just might be one of that flock. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2007, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-cow-or-xenu-whatever-christian-scientologists/424794/19 "2007-11-01T00:13:09Z")
Some people really, _really_ want to believe. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Magralopterix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@The\_Magralopterix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Magralopterix)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2007, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-cow-or-xenu-whatever-christian-scientologists/424794/20 "2007-11-01T00:13:15Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > Yes, it’s a pitting, and no, I wasn’t jacking off. Everyone makes judgments about other people all day every day. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being judgmental. It is a primary survival skill. [sub]Pssst. Dude! I think you’ve forgotten the first rule of religious discourse. You can only get away with criticising or making fun of unfalsifiable batshit insane beliefs if there’s no chance you will hurt people’s feelings. Just giving you a heads up.[/sub] [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-cow-or-xenu-whatever-christian-scientologists/424794.md?page=2)