# Holy flurking Schnitt! Giant Freaking Girbils! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 19, 2003, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-flurking-schnitt-giant-freaking-girbils/196216 "2003-08-19T15:24:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-flurking-schnitt-giant-freaking-girbils/196216/1 "2003-08-19T15:24:43Z")
[http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/3162743.stm](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/3162743.stm) > [@](#): > > An explosion of gerbils is decimating vast areas of grasslands in China’s north-western Xinjiang region" > > The gerbils running riot in China’s arid far north-west may sound like the fluffy pets loved by so many children but they are in a different league. > > THE GREAT GERBIL > > Scientific name: Rhombomys opimus > Size: Up to 400mm long from head to tail > Lives: In Turkmenistan, Kazakhstan, Iran, southern Mongolia, north-west China and Afghanistan > Highly social animals, usually living in large burrows > Communicate with quick, rapid foot thumping and high pitched whistling > > The Great Gerbil found in many parts of Central Asia can be up to 400 millimetres (16 inches) long from head to tail. > > With its short fur, it is the member of the family most resembling the rat. Forget Locusts! GIANT FREAKING GERBILS! Taking over Asia! They’ll be wearing little Chairman Mao suits next and taking over our televisions! They’ve already destroyed 11 MILLION acres, the same size as freaking SWITZERLAND!! What else is scary, is that it says that this is the worst rodent disaster to hit the provence for the last 10 years. What happened 10 years ago that could be worse?? :o But what can save us from these freaks of nature? EAGLES! Giant Freaking Eagles!! Specially bred to eat Giant Freaking Gerbils but what happens when the eagles eat all the gerbils? who will be able to temper the hunger of the Giant Freaking EAGLES? GAAAAAARGH!! _me hides in the basement with a long stick for fending off giant eagles_ ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-flurking-schnitt-giant-freaking-girbils/196216/2 "2003-08-19T16:48:15Z")
Gerbil-inna-bun Mister? And I’d be Cutting Me Own Throat… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-flurking-schnitt-giant-freaking-girbils/196216/3 "2003-08-19T16:54:33Z")
They’ve got gerbils exploding out the Xinjiang? ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-flurking-schnitt-giant-freaking-girbils/196216/4 "2003-08-19T17:15:32Z")
And once again **lieu** digests the subject down to its simplest form. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Trigonal\_Planar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/0ea827/32.png) [@Trigonal\_Planar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trigonal_Planar)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-flurking-schnitt-giant-freaking-girbils/196216/5 "2003-08-19T18:03:42Z")
Hmmm, maybe we should fire the SDMB hamsters and hire some Giant Freaking Gerbils instead. ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-flurking-schnitt-giant-freaking-girbils/196216/6 "2003-08-19T18:47:45Z")
Seems as if Xinjiang is located [just north](http://omni.cc.purdue.edu/~wtv/tibet/map.html)of Tibet. Clearly, this is just the first wave of a Richard Gere inspired takeover of China. ---
**Author:** ![emmaliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emmaliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emmaliminal)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-flurking-schnitt-giant-freaking-girbils/196216/7 "2003-08-19T18:47:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Trigonal Planar \* > \*\*Hmmm, maybe we should fire the SDMB hamsters and hire some Giant Freaking Gerbils instead. \*\* Oh dear God no. Don’t the hamsters eat enough of our posts as it is? Giant Freaking Gerbils might snack on whole threads… even whole forums! Think, man! ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-flurking-schnitt-giant-freaking-girbils/196216/8 "2003-08-19T19:02:24Z")
It’s simple, they’ll import eaglivorous octopi that will snatch the eagles as they feed in the water. But WHAT WILL WE DO ABOUT THE KILLER GIANT OCTOPI? ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-flurking-schnitt-giant-freaking-girbils/196216/9 "2003-08-19T19:08:30Z")
…no wonder Richard Gere wants to free Tibet. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![paperbackwriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@paperbackwriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paperbackwriter)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-flurking-schnitt-giant-freaking-girbils/196216/10 "2003-08-19T19:10:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by emilyforce \* > \*\*Oh dear God no. Don’t the hamsters eat enough of our posts as it is? Giant Freaking Gerbils might snack on whole threads… even whole forums! Think, man! \*\* Oops, I guess I [shouldn’t’ve suggested it already](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=205672) Please forgive me. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-flurking-schnitt-giant-freaking-girbils/196216/11 "2003-08-19T20:22:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ludovic \* > \*\*It’s simple, they’ll import eaglivorous octopi that will snatch the eagles as they feed in the water. > > But WHAT WILL WE DO ABOUT THE KILLER GIANT OCTOPI? \*\* Duh. TITANIC LANDGOING SHARKS, obviously! ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-flurking-schnitt-giant-freaking-girbils/196216/12 "2003-08-19T21:12:30Z")
I know an old lady who swallowed a titanic landgoing shark. I don’t know why she swallowed the titanic landgoing shark. Perhaps she’ll yark. ---
**Author:** ![emmaliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emmaliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emmaliminal)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-flurking-schnitt-giant-freaking-girbils/196216/13 "2003-08-19T21:13:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Smeghead \* > \*\*Duh. TITANIC LANDGOING SHARKS, obviously! \*\* With frickin’ _(does quotey thing with fingers)_ “lasers” on their heads. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-flurking-schnitt-giant-freaking-girbils/196216/14 "2003-08-19T21:32:41Z")
I was positive this was going to be about capybaras. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-flurking-schnitt-giant-freaking-girbils/196216/15 "2003-08-19T22:35:18Z")
I was, too. I came in here hoping to cry “brothers!” but also, no. “Cousins!” ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-flurking-schnitt-giant-freaking-girbils/196216/16 "2003-08-19T23:34:33Z")
strange, i thought it was the year of the sheep/goat/lamb… ---
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-flurking-schnitt-giant-freaking-girbils/196216/17 "2003-08-20T00:06:13Z")
Maybe that explains the hole the dog is digging out behind the garage. I thought I smelled rice when I looked down into it… this will save having to buy Dog Chow next month! ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-flurking-schnitt-giant-freaking-girbils/196216/18 "2003-08-20T00:08:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \* > [Bwho will be able to temper the hunger of the Giant Freaking EAGLES? > \*\* I think Vince Russo could - he’d simply book a swerve and _POOF_ no more eagles. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-flurking-schnitt-giant-freaking-girbils/196216/19 "2003-08-20T00:52:26Z")
Looks like China is trying to corner the RUS market. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![look\_ninjas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@look\_ninjas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/look_ninjas)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-flurking-schnitt-giant-freaking-girbils/196216/20 "2003-08-20T02:06:45Z")
Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don’t think they exist. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-flurking-schnitt-giant-freaking-girbils/196216.md?page=2)