# Holy fuck I need a haircut **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 3, 2020, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-fuck-i-need-a-haircut/853078 "2020-05-03T19:16:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-fuck-i-need-a-haircut/853078/21 "2020-05-04T13:28:27Z")
My daughter has an [undercut](https://www.hairstylo.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Undercut-for-long-hair-4.jpg) (not her). It had grown to about 2" long and became quite bulky from her having naturally curly hair. She let her boyfriend attack it with clippers, and it turned out pretty good! Didn’t raise the line, no oopsies. Unfortunately, he used the wrong guard (I don’t know guard numbers), and instead of the usual like 1/2", it was stubble. She offered to cut his hair and he noped out of there. He has super fast growing thick stick straight Asian hair. Only one of his Aunties is allowed to cut it, and they haven’t been able to see her since early January. He usually fades the sides and back, long on top. Right now? He’s taken to wearing my daughter’s headbands or donning a top ponytail just to be able to see. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-fuck-i-need-a-haircut/853078/22 "2020-05-04T13:50:25Z")
Yeah, I was way behind on getting a haircut when I decided it wouldn’t be wise to go. Now the hair on the top of my head is longer than it’s ever been. I’m kind of enjoying it. Also this gives a chance for the sides to grow out. I’m going to try to get it all grown out so I can comb it all straight back. My poor hairdresser. She’s kind of a chaotic mess anyway, I hope she’s doing ok. Coincidentally, this morning I was thinking that if she’s still working at the same place when we can go again, I’m just gonna hand her a hundy. I might do that the first couple times. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-fuck-i-need-a-haircut/853078/23 "2020-05-04T14:53:21Z")
I cut my wife’s hair last night and she was so happy with it she said she’ll just have me do it from now on. 🙂 My hair is a little more complicated but I just might have her shave it down a bit with a #10 guard and see what happens. I haven’t had my hair that short in over 15 years. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-fuck-i-need-a-haircut/853078/24 "2020-05-04T15:25:23Z")
I’ll admit it’s been amusing watching everyone on Youtube get scruffier and scruffier. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-fuck-i-need-a-haircut/853078/25 "2020-05-04T15:43:42Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > I’m doing the crazy Einstein thing now. We need pictures! ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-fuck-i-need-a-haircut/853078/26 "2020-05-04T16:06:51Z")
My hair is normally done by a barber with the #4 blade, which equals one inchmin length. Pre-quarantine, I had a haircut by a hairdresser with scissors. People whomdo hair have my undying respect and devotion. But someone using scissors just can’t get it short enough. I’ve been scouring the internet for clippers. The Daughter said she would hack it off for me if she had the clippers. Projected delivery date: July. No. Just no. The Daughter said The Son-in-law’s clippers won’t work for me. The longest blade is 9 mm. I am tempted. Oh, how I am tempted! ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-fuck-i-need-a-haircut/853078/27 "2020-05-04T16:57:27Z")
I shaved it all off a few days after the lockdown. 6 weeks in, I would say, it needs a trim again, especially the sideburns. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-fuck-i-need-a-haircut/853078/28 "2020-05-04T17:07:43Z")
I get my hair cut every 3 months or so, and highlighted once a year. I had hit that “yesterday it was fine but today it is an absolute mess!” wall the day before Ohio shut down salons, and since people had been canceling on my stylist I was able to get an appointment. I was her last appointment before she was shut down. I have very crazy, thick, curly hair. For once in my life I’m the one who’s looking good while everyone else gets to be lookin’ like shit. Hooray! ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Mondegreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/91b2a8/32.png) [@Lord\_Mondegreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Mondegreen)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2020, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-fuck-i-need-a-haircut/853078/29 "2020-05-06T05:54:42Z")
I’m about to turn 57, and I still have a full head a of thick hair. Usually something that makes me happy, but now I’m starting to look like an ageing hippy. I would love to have a haircut. Also, my fingernails are usually kept short just by day to day activities. Now they are growing without constraint. I’ve never needed a nail file, so I may need to bite them off. ---
**Author:** ![RioRico](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f04885/32.png) [@RioRico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RioRico)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2020, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-fuck-i-need-a-haircut/853078/30 "2020-05-06T17:38:32Z")
For a Holy Fuck haircut contact Nacelle the Naughty Nun. Don’t misbehave. MrsRico’s method for decades has been to cut my manly mane whenever she sees fit, and who am I to argue? In years past I used electric clippers as needed on my beard and the Golden Retriever but MrsRico insisted on scissoring my scalp. I usually shave with a blade but after fairly recent medical work and blood thinners I let my beard grow again. I was fairly shaggy all over when, a few months post-medication and pre-COVID, she guided me from our luscious Mediterranean eatery at Lake Tahoe to a fix-em-up shop next door where a gal closely trimmed me for a bargain price. I finally gave up on a beard when masking became the rage. You have options for desperation hair work in quarantine time: [ol] [li] Nacelle the Naughty Nun[/li][li] Wife, gf, sister, mom, slave[/li][li] Dark Web underground barber[/li][li] Self-administered clippers[/li][li] Depilatory NAIR-job[/li][li] Lots of Brylcreem\*[/li][li] Surrender to the Bozo[/li][/ol] - Grease down your mane for that Latin Lover look. Unless you’re blond - then add sparkles. ---
**Author:** ![aurora\_maire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aurora_maire/32/328_2.png) [@aurora\_maire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aurora_maire)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2020, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-fuck-i-need-a-haircut/853078/31 "2020-05-07T05:15:24Z")
For years, I’ve been growing my hair to waist-length, then having it cut about shoulder-length and donating it to St. Jude to make wigs. I was planning to do this in March but waited too long. When I realized that going to a salon was not something I’d be doing for a really, really long time, I watched some YouTube videos and cut if off myself. It’s a little longer than I would like, below my shoulders, but I think it turned out really well. I’m holding on to the ponytail to donate it at a later time. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2020, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-fuck-i-need-a-haircut/853078/32 "2020-05-07T10:00:37Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > We need pictures! Let’s see if this works: Not quite crazy Einstein, but it feels like it to me! [Not quite crazy Einstein, but it feels like it to me! - Album on Imgur](https://imgur.com/gallery/doAZD3D) ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2020, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-fuck-i-need-a-haircut/853078/33 "2020-05-07T13:22:51Z")
A sight for sore eyes, thank you! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2020, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-fuck-i-need-a-haircut/853078/34 "2020-05-07T13:36:52Z")
The 9 mm blade on The Son-in-law’s clippers is looking better and better! Stick straight hair goes through awkward phases. It creates its own parts, it mashes down on one side, and the other side looks like a teasing demo gone wrong. I’ve been in that awkward phase for some time. Given the fact I need to use neck support whenever I sit, I get a strange “folded” effect at the base of my neck. Since we’re due to be under [del] siege[/del] stay-at-home for a few more weeks, a 9 mm cut wouldn’t be so bad. (Note to self: after COVID-19 peters out, and the hoarding begins, buy several sets of clippers.) ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2020, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-fuck-i-need-a-haircut/853078/35 "2020-05-15T10:07:39Z")
I just cut my hair: scissors, straight up. Fuck the rest of you. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2020, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-fuck-i-need-a-haircut/853078/36 "2020-05-15T10:44:08Z")
Shorn of your tresses eh Sampson? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2020, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-fuck-i-need-a-haircut/853078/37 "2020-05-15T12:14:18Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > My hair was too long and my bushy beard interfered with my mask. Last weekend I shaved everything smooth. Loving the stubble now. Three (?) weeks post shaving my head. It would be great if my hair would stop growing right now. I’m loving being able to splash water on my head. Wearing a baseball cap I can appreciate the warmth, and removing it feels cool. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2020, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-fuck-i-need-a-haircut/853078/38 "2020-05-15T12:14:53Z")
After I dropped my spousal unit off at the hospital, I let my mom scalp me. I asked for a trim and told her she could take up to 2" off the length. I think she needs calibration… :eek: Also her definition of layers doesn’t match what every hairdresser does for me. Oh well, the price was right, and in a few weeks, I’ll let a pro neaten it up for me. At least it’s not as shaggy as it had been. And she confirmed there’s still no gray. Good clean living pays off! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2020, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-fuck-i-need-a-haircut/853078/39 "2020-05-15T15:46:05Z")
Gave myself another haircut, this time with a #5. It looks ok, except I can still feel curls in the back. It’s too short to be a mullet, except for one stubborn curl that insists on sticking out. I call it my “mullette”. Good thing nobody cares what I look like. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2020, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-fuck-i-need-a-haircut/853078/40 "2020-05-15T16:02:19Z")
\*\*Holy fuck I need a haircut \*\* “What is a funny name for a barber shop, Alex?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-fuck-i-need-a-haircut/853078.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-fuck-i-need-a-haircut/853078.md?page=3)