# Holy moly! Strangers are about to invade my lady garden! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 3, 2009, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-moly-strangers-are-about-to-invade-my-lady-garden/501841 "2009-07-03T19:39:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Neeps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a183cd/32.png) [@Neeps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neeps)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-moly-strangers-are-about-to-invade-my-lady-garden/501841/1 "2009-07-03T19:39:46Z")
So, tomorrow morning I don a wee nightie, spread my legs, kiss my husband, and let a complete stranger stick life into my hoo-ha. I’m not entirely unhappy about this, obviously, but at the moment am erring towards the oh-my-god-what-the-hell-were-we-thinking! end of the spectrum. IVF sucks donkey balls. Have I pronounced that correctly? At the moment, we have 5 embryos - 2 a bit poor quality and fragmented, and 3 that are looking good. The embryologist doesn’t think that we will have anything to freeze, so we’re looking at putting two back, and crossing our fingers. Hoping for a positive, but really hoping for just one. Two would be lovely, but a bit much. Oh my lord… I’m scared shitless, and know that a few of you have been through this before, with varying results. Any words of wisdom? Anything…? Please tell me it is all worth it in the end… ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-moly-strangers-are-about-to-invade-my-lady-garden/501841/2 "2009-07-03T19:51:59Z")
No words of wisdom to impart, but may I offer my congratulations on having posted _by miles_ the most intriguing thread title of recent times on the SDMB, and also to offer you my best wishes for a successful outcome. Good luck **Neeps**. ---
**Author:** ![Neeps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a183cd/32.png) [@Neeps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neeps)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-moly-strangers-are-about-to-invade-my-lady-garden/501841/3 "2009-07-03T19:56:56Z")
Thank you, **Struan** , you made me smile tonight! No mean feat! ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-moly-strangers-are-about-to-invade-my-lady-garden/501841/4 "2009-07-03T20:09:30Z")
I apologize for thinking that this was a (pseudo) rape or just voyeuristic fantasy-come-to-life where you husband wanted to watch. :eek: That’s what your first 2 sentences seemed to indicate… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-moly-strangers-are-about-to-invade-my-lady-garden/501841/5 "2009-07-03T20:12:32Z")
And I got somewhat disoriented reading the thread title, and was suddenly remembering the invasion of biting Asian ladybugs we had a couple of years ago, and was thinking, “They’re _back?!!_” The OP quickly reoriented me. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![Neeps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a183cd/32.png) [@Neeps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neeps)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-moly-strangers-are-about-to-invade-my-lady-garden/501841/6 "2009-07-03T20:12:58Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > I apologize for thinking that this was a (pseudo) rape or just voyeuristic fantasy-come-to-life where you husband wanted to watch. :eek: That’s what your first 2 sentences seemed to indicate… Oops! Totally not the tone I was going for. Glad I clarified…ahem… ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-moly-strangers-are-about-to-invade-my-lady-garden/501841/7 "2009-07-03T20:19:37Z")
The combination of title and opening lines…:eek::eek::D:D:D. Oh, and good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Lagavulin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ea5d25/32.png) [@Lagavulin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lagavulin)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-moly-strangers-are-about-to-invade-my-lady-garden/501841/8 "2009-07-03T21:16:02Z")
I knew from your first sentence you were talking about IVF! Having been through it myself I can tell you that the 'sticking ‘em in’ part is way easier than the ‘wheeking the eggs out’ bit. It took us four attempts (1 fresh, then two frozen, then another fresh) but we now have a fantastic 8-month old little boy, who’s currently snoring away in his cot in the next room. Words of wisdom? Not sure. The two-week wait between embryo transfer and pg test is verrrrry long. Even though I was told it was nonsense, I avoided any strenous activity out of fear of knocking the embryos loose! It’s definitely worth it Best of luck to you ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-moly-strangers-are-about-to-invade-my-lady-garden/501841/9 "2009-07-03T21:22:14Z")
Yes, I believe you did pronounce “donkey balls” correctly 😃 Good luck! And um…have fun? ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-moly-strangers-are-about-to-invade-my-lady-garden/501841/10 "2009-07-03T21:24:44Z")
> [@Lagavulin](#): > > I knew from your first sentence you were talking about IVF! Having been through it myself I can tell you that the 'sticking ‘em in’ part is way easier than the ‘wheeking the eggs out’ bit. It took us four attempts (1 fresh, then two frozen, then another fresh) but we now have a fantastic 8-month old little boy, who’s currently snoring away in his cot in the next room. Congrats on the boy! And how exactly does wheeking the eggs out work? I get the “fertilize them then put them back in” part. ---
**Author:** ![Lagavulin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ea5d25/32.png) [@Lagavulin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lagavulin)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-moly-strangers-are-about-to-invade-my-lady-garden/501841/11 "2009-07-03T21:38:11Z")
> [@badbadrubberpiggy](#): > > And how exactly does wheeking the eggs out work? Basically they stick a long skinny pipette type thingy wayyyy up there and remove the eggs with it. The first time the sedative didn’t really work on me so I felt everything and believe me it was unpleasant. The next time I asked for more drugs and never felt a thing. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-moly-strangers-are-about-to-invade-my-lady-garden/501841/12 "2009-07-03T21:54:37Z")
> [@Lagavulin](#): > > Basically they stick a long skinny pipette type thingy wayyyy up there and remove the eggs with it. The first time the sedative didn’t really work on me so I felt everything and believe me it was unpleasant. The next time I asked for more drugs and never felt a thing. Ouch! ---
**Author:** ![Neeps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a183cd/32.png) [@Neeps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neeps)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2009, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-moly-strangers-are-about-to-invade-my-lady-garden/501841/13 "2009-07-04T05:28:51Z")
> [@Lagavulin](#): > > I knew from your first sentence you were talking about IVF! Having been through it myself I can tell you that the 'sticking ‘em in’ part is way easier than the ‘wheeking the eggs out’ bit. It took us four attempts (1 fresh, then two frozen, then another fresh) but we now have a fantastic 8-month old little boy, who’s currently snoring away in his cot in the next room. > > Words of wisdom? Not sure. The two-week wait between embryo transfer and pg test is verrrrry long. Even though I was told it was nonsense, I avoided any strenous activity out of fear of knocking the embryos loose! > > It’s definitely worth it > Best of luck to you Thanks for the well wishes! It’s nice to hear about how other people have got through it and out the other side. Sorry it took you so long, but it sounds like it was worth it 🙂 I didn’t actually find the retrieval too bad - they were kind enough to knock me out completely so I didn’t even have to think about where they were sticking what! Still a bit sore, but keen to get this next bit over. So keen that I couldn’t sleep this morning. I have to say, this is one of the more surreal experiences I have been through. I’m really struggling to wrap my head around what we are actually doing and trying to achieve. It’s all a bit abstract. I’ll be going back to work on Monday and trying to distract myself furiously for the next couple of weeks. One of the first times recently that I’ll be keen to throw myself into work! ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2009, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-moly-strangers-are-about-to-invade-my-lady-garden/501841/14 "2009-07-04T06:24:58Z")
I too just want to chime in and say you really had me going with the title and first few sentences. I thought this was going to be some kind of arranged gang bang (title alludes to more than one stranger). :eek: ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2009, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-moly-strangers-are-about-to-invade-my-lady-garden/501841/15 "2009-07-04T07:38:02Z")
All I can say is, if you’ve been trying awhile, even though the doctors will tell you not to use a pee stick, go ahead and do it. You know you want to… 😃 I also lol’d at a hoo haa being described as a ‘lady garden’. ---
**Author:** ![Auntbeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Auntbeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Auntbeast)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2009, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-moly-strangers-are-about-to-invade-my-lady-garden/501841/16 "2009-07-04T12:40:47Z")
You have been trying to achieve: Sleepless nights. Lots of poop. The honest to god feeling that your heart really is walking around outside your body. The ability to be caught dead in your tracks, all the world disappears as you see your kid do something. The waiting for “Mamma” the frustration when that is the last word you want to hear because you hear it 1000 times a day. Trying to figure out what to do with their hair when they discovered the scissors, twice. At least that is I hope you achieve. Keep your feet up, your head back and a good sense of humor. You’ll need it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Neeps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a183cd/32.png) [@Neeps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neeps)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2009, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-moly-strangers-are-about-to-invade-my-lady-garden/501841/17 "2009-07-04T13:22:29Z")
Thanks everyone the little bit of extra luck. I’m back from the transfer and trying furiously to think of something to do for the next two weeks to take my mind of things. I’m starting with chocolate cake. Thanks for the list, \*\*Auntbeast \*\*- I hope to achieve that, and more! ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2009, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-moly-strangers-are-about-to-invade-my-lady-garden/501841/18 "2009-07-04T13:24:09Z")
Late to the party - but stopped by to send you lucky thoughts! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2009, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-moly-strangers-are-about-to-invade-my-lady-garden/501841/19 "2009-07-04T14:19:07Z")
Good luck as well! Best wishes and I hope everything goes well for you! ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2009, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-moly-strangers-are-about-to-invade-my-lady-garden/501841/20 "2009-07-04T16:31:46Z")
Good luck! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-moly-strangers-are-about-to-invade-my-lady-garden/501841.md?page=2)