# Holy shit, I am farting like a motherfuck! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 24, 2005, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-shit-i-am-farting-like-a-motherfuck/305321 "2005-05-24T20:07:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-shit-i-am-farting-like-a-motherfuck/305321/1 "2005-05-24T20:07:52Z")
**Weirddave** had a stomach bug during last weekend’s dopefest, and I think I caught it. Much to the trepidation of **Mississippienne** , I’m now farting like crazy, among other things a bit too TMI to mention. And these farts are bad, even to me, so bad, in fact, that _I_ have to leave the room. And I usually love my farts. Did anyone else from our dopefest get a stomach ailment? Adam ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-shit-i-am-farting-like-a-motherfuck/305321/2 "2005-05-24T20:32:27Z")
No, but then again I wasn’t in a corner tongue-kissing him all night like you were. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-shit-i-am-farting-like-a-motherfuck/305321/3 "2005-05-24T20:33:16Z")
Oh, crap. I’m in trouble. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-shit-i-am-farting-like-a-motherfuck/305321/4 "2005-05-24T20:34:24Z")
:eek: ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-shit-i-am-farting-like-a-motherfuck/305321/5 "2005-05-24T20:34:43Z")
> [@Agent Foxtrot](#): > > … And I usually love my farts… This bit is probably worht talking about. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-shit-i-am-farting-like-a-motherfuck/305321/6 "2005-05-24T20:34:55Z")
I farted after reading your OP. Does that count? ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-shit-i-am-farting-like-a-motherfuck/305321/7 "2005-05-24T20:40:02Z")
No stomach ailment here (knock on wood). In the interest of vectoring, all I had to eat were the snack veggies that I brought and those blue corn nacho chips. (And two slugs of Rebel Yell bourbon – that stuff could kill the strongest bug!) ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-shit-i-am-farting-like-a-motherfuck/305321/8 "2005-05-24T20:44:40Z")
I wasn’t even at the Fest, and it would seem I caught this mysterious farting disease… …about 15 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-shit-i-am-farting-like-a-motherfuck/305321/9 "2005-05-24T20:48:37Z")
I’m confused. How do you tongue kiss a fart? > [@Spatial Rift 47](#): > > :eek: Oh, I see. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-shit-i-am-farting-like-a-motherfuck/305321/10 "2005-05-24T23:33:43Z")
I had some of the hot chili, and several servings from the hops and barley food group, and this little piggie went “Toot, toot, toot, all the way home.” 😃 That’s the sad part about living alone-my parrot and the cats are the only ones around to appreciate my mellifluous bum. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Kitchen\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kitchen\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitchen_Wench)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-shit-i-am-farting-like-a-motherfuck/305321/11 "2005-05-25T00:31:32Z")
> [@Agent Foxtrot](#): > > And these farts are bad, even to me, so bad, in fact, that _I_ have to leave the room. And I usually love my farts. > Adam This has me in tears… No, waitaminute. It’s that brown cloud moving in from the East. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-shit-i-am-farting-like-a-motherfuck/305321/12 "2005-05-25T03:08:39Z")
Hee hee hee. Stay away from anything that’s on fire, ok? 😃 This reminds me of a story (a TMI story, but you should know that’s what this thread is going to become…) Last summer, one hot sweaty night, I was getting ready for a shower. I had gotten undressed and passed Mr AFG in the hallway, and I gave him a nekkid hug. Then it happened. I ripped a huge fart. It was a very hot night and I was kind of sweaty all over, including my behind, so the gas fapped through my butt cheeks with a sharp staccato sound. It sounded just like a motorcycle puttering loudly down the street. Mr. AFG was horrified and I thought it was awesome (both the fart and his reaction). 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-shit-i-am-farting-like-a-motherfuck/305321/13 "2005-05-26T03:55:52Z")
I think my story scared everyone off…☹ ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-shit-i-am-farting-like-a-motherfuck/305321/14 "2005-05-26T04:01:42Z")
Well, any post containing “fapped through my butt cheeks” is liable to be the sort that drives a stake through the heart of the thread and cuts off its head just to be sure. But I’ll bump for ya. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-shit-i-am-farting-like-a-motherfuck/305321/15 "2005-05-26T06:00:04Z")
You’re claiming that people who commit incest with their mothers are prone to farting? ---
**Author:** ![Penchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Penchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penchan)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-shit-i-am-farting-like-a-motherfuck/305321/16 "2005-05-26T06:16:12Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > Hee hee hee. Stay away from anything that’s on fire, ok? 😃 This reminds me of a story (a TMI story, but you should know that’s what this thread is going to become…) > > Last summer, one hot sweaty night, I was getting ready for a shower. I had gotten undressed and passed Mr AFG in the hallway, and I gave him a nekkid hug. Then it happened. I ripped a huge fart. It was a very hot night and I was kind of sweaty all over, including my behind, so the gas fapped through my butt cheeks with a sharp staccato sound. It sounded just like a motorcycle puttering loudly down the street. Mr. AFG was horrified and I thought it was awesome (both the fart and his reaction). 😃 As I was reading your post, I was laughing so hard that I got into a coughing fit and had to stop before I collapsed from my laughing fit. I wasn’t having a great day, but your post made me laugh so hard that I was crying! Definitely brightened my day 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-shit-i-am-farting-like-a-motherfuck/305321/17 "2005-05-26T08:22:44Z")
Ha-- **AFG** , that (very vaguely, I promise) reminds me of a time many moons ago when, after partying pretty hard with the folks, (blotter, not blotto) I ended up crashing on my friends’ sofa. Not too long after everyone turned in, I heard the usual commotion from the next room, and did my best to ignore it. Then it got really loud, and there was a huge crash followed by torrents of laughter that didn’t seem to stop, for a long, long time. About half of the laughter is soon getting louder as its proximity decreases. Next thing I know, I’ve got a nekkid girl collapsed on top of me, giggling like a loon. “Larry… bwahahahahahaha heeheeheehee… David was… bwahahahahaha… David was… bwahahahahahahah… He was… was… hweeehehehe… David was going down on me… bwahahahahahahaha… and… and… bwhahahahahaha… I was just about to… hehehe… to… hahahahaha… just about to _come_, bwhahahahahah… and then… _snerk_ just as I was about to… heheheehehehehe I let this… hahahah… _huge_ fart… bwhahahahahahah… like… “BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!” hahahahahahah… and his face was right there! Haahahah… and… hahaha… wait… wait… hahahaha… I _blew him against the wall!_ Hahahahah _Right against the wall!_ hahahaha! He knocked over the bookshelf! Ahh… umm… I guess you had to be there. G’night.” I wish I could have seen the look on my face. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-shit-i-am-farting-like-a-motherfuck/305321/18 "2005-05-26T08:25:16Z")
The proximity _increased_, I meant. But I’m sure you figured that out. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-shit-i-am-farting-like-a-motherfuck/305321/19 "2005-05-26T13:04:27Z")
It’s just the choice of words. “…_fapped_ through my butt cheeks…” Yow. I’m sure the implications of that statement are unintentional, but still… ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-shit-i-am-farting-like-a-motherfuck/305321/20 "2005-05-26T20:25:04Z")
Ha ha! Yeah, I realized that could be misconstrued…But that’s exactly the sound it made. _FAP-FAP-FAP-BRRAAAAAP!_ There was simply no better word. (Sorry for hijacking your thread, Adam. :D) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-shit-i-am-farting-like-a-motherfuck/305321.md?page=2)