# Holy Smokes! Trump Got Himself an Inauguration Pome! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 18, 2017, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444 "2017-01-18T02:10:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/1 "2017-01-18T02:10:19Z")
…and it’s about what you’d expect! Except for the Scottish part. I didn’t think he’d go for the optional Ethnic Heritage Upgrade. > **[Trump Inaugural Poem By Self-Published Poet Is Epitome Of Trump: It's TERRIBLE](https://www.wonkette.com/the-trump-inaugural-poem-is-so-bad-you-guys-its-just-so-so-bad)** > > The Trump poem is so bad you guys that the part where he insults Trump's 'tyrant' predecessor is the least offensive part of it. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/2 "2017-01-18T02:16:40Z")
Without clicking the link, I’m going to guess it starts with: Hickory dickory dock ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/3 "2017-01-18T02:20:37Z")
I never thought of Trump as a Pome type. I’d think he’d prefer the bigger breeds. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/4 "2017-01-18T02:22:36Z")
I MISSPELLED THAT DELIBERATELY You know, for the humor effect. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/5 "2017-01-18T02:23:44Z")
That’s what we in Boston would call “a stinkah”! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/6 "2017-01-18T02:27:17Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > Without clicking the link, I’m going to guess it starts with: > Hickory dickory dock You totally overestimated it. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/7 "2017-01-18T02:29:35Z")
Maybe John Ashcroft could set it to music in time for the festivities. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/8 "2017-01-18T02:30:30Z")
Oh, you MUST click the link. For he is DOMHNALL, fruit of the MacLeod Clan; If he can’t do it, nobody can! He’s the monarch as far as the eye can see With his two Russian whores, and drenched with pee. Huh. I shoulda posted this in Cafe Society and made it a Trump Pome Contest. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/9 "2017-01-18T02:35:29Z")
From the link in the OP: > [@](#): > > Update By Yr Doktor Zoom: HuffPo says the poem is a big ol’ fakey-fake, or at least that it’s not an official inaugural poem. Whether the perpetrator is truly a bad writer or a brilliant troll/con artist remains to be seen. See longer update at end of the Poetry Contest Post > **[Fake Inaugural Poem Is A Puzzling Ode To Trump’s ‘Purpose And Strength’](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/fake-inaugural-poem-trump_n_587e87f5e4b0c147f0bb9b46)** > > Fake news, fake folders, and now, a fake inaugural poem. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/10 "2017-01-18T02:40:45Z")
Awww, nuts. I knew it was too good to be true. > **[Fake Inaugural Poem Is A Puzzling Ode To Trump’s ‘Purpose And Strength’](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/fake-inaugural-poem-trump_n_587e87f5e4b0c147f0bb9b46?fwxlf69hryl1r4fgvi=)** > > Fake news, fake folders, and now, a fake inaugural poem. Oh, well. Let’s have an Inaugural Poem Fest anyway! There was an old man from Nantucket… ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/11 "2017-01-18T02:43:34Z")
I hope **jsgoddess** weighs in on this. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/12 "2017-01-18T02:44:30Z")
OK then, in that spirit, a poem I imagine was penned by Sir Donald for a formal occasion. Fuck You by Donald Trump Hickory dickory dock I won Fuck you This doesn’t rhyme I won ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/13 "2017-01-18T03:26:22Z")
There was a[del]n old[/del] man from Nantucket… who had Donald’s pee in a bucket… ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/14 "2017-01-18T03:34:53Z")
There was an old man in Trump Tower With great intellectual power Whose knowledge was quite antipodean Sadly, he was a custodian And wiped up the pee in the shower. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/15 "2017-01-18T04:14:06Z")
> [@](#): > > From Scotland With Love > (For Joseph Charles MacKenzie) > > MacKenzie, you poor man’s McGonagall, > rank mediocrity of wank and shite > that Burns wid ca’ a bawheid’s doggerel, > Ah’ll spit a rhyme for ye: Ye cannae write. > > A decorated poet? Aye! A dick > drawn on yer foreheid wi an inky wid > be fine and fitting, a humungous prick > and fuckin big block capitals: NAE GUID! > > … \ (from here: [Notes from New Sodom: From Scotland With Love](http://notesfromthegeekshow.blogspot.com/2017/01/from-scotland-with-love.html)) ---
**Author:** ![Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b487fb/32.png) [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walken_After_Midnight)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/16 "2017-01-18T04:19:24Z")
Let’s build a limerick! I’ll do the first line then… _There once was a man who was orange._ ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/17 "2017-01-18T04:31:36Z")
_Whose brain was more like a sporange._ ---
**Author:** ![Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b487fb/32.png) [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walken_After_Midnight)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/18 "2017-01-18T04:33:32Z")
_He preferred gold to silver_ ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/19 "2017-01-18T04:54:08Z")
_And paté to liver_ ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/20 "2017-01-18T05:00:15Z")
_And was fawningly worshiped by **doorhinge** _. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444.md?page=2)