# Holy Smokes! Trump Got Himself an Inauguration Pome! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 18, 2017, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444 "2017-01-18T02:10:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/21 "2017-01-18T05:44:54Z")
Weeping pustules, chancre sores Anal crabs and turd s’mores Fungal Donald and Russian whores (Some are threes, none are fours Unibrows and giant pores) This raging spawn of rancid sewers? I don’t want him, that makes him yours. (Audience snaps fingers in approval, sips espresso, takes more benzedrine. Next, an anorexic existentialist does A Dance to Spring…) ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/22 "2017-01-18T06:40:39Z")
D’ya hear the story about Cocaine Don He had a nose so stuffed it totally shone He had a Cocaine House and a Cocaine Life He even had a Cocaine Wife …and he’s _aaalllll_ around our brains! ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/23 "2017-01-18T06:50:31Z")
The depths of the swamp I will plumb While keeping mum ‘bout my income And lies I’ll embolden Like showers most golden Disputin’ that Putin’s my chum. Sent from my SCH-I435 using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/24 "2017-01-18T07:49:27Z")
George Takei’s Twitter feed gave us a [good start](https://twitter.com/GeorgeTakei/status/819003453057990656) for this. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/25 "2017-01-18T08:36:49Z")
Surely we just need some new lyrics that can be sung along to “Kyle’s mom’s a bitch” Altogether now! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllll…Trump is a ? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/26 "2017-01-18T11:46:02Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > From the link in the OP: > > [Fake Inaugural Poem Is A Puzzling Ode To Trump’s ‘Purpose And Strength’ | HuffPost Entertainment](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/fake-inaugural-poem-trump_us_587e87f5e4b0c147f0bb9b46) Dude’s not a troll. [Here’s his poetry website](https://mackenziepoet.com/about/). It’s not quite as much fun to read as the Trump poem is, but it’s still pretty fun. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/27 "2017-01-18T11:50:18Z")
> [@Ukulele\_Ike](#): > > Awww, nuts. I knew it was too good to be true. But you failed to include that knowledge in your post? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/28 "2017-01-18T12:28:21Z")
May I remind you, **Ike** , that you are still under oath. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/29 "2017-01-18T13:03:12Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > But you failed to include that knowledge in your post? It’s a figure of speech, m’lud. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/30 "2017-01-18T14:09:39Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I hope **jsgoddess** weighs in on this. Why do you hate me? Anyway, I’m sorry to say that it’s not the worst poem I’ve ever read. Hell, it’s not in the top 100. For one, it lacks discussion of souls and nothing is set off by tildes! “The Domhnall’s a giver whilst others just take / Ne’er gaining from that which his hands did not make.” Hee. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/31 "2017-01-18T14:58:46Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Why do you hate me? > Anyway, I’m sorry to say that it’s not the worst poem I’ve ever read. Hell, it’s not in the top 100. For one, it lacks discussion of souls and nothing is set off by tildes! Oh, good, you’ve never read the ones I wrote during my teenage years (thank god those happened before the internet was a thing!) :eek: Anyway, I’m no good at limericks so here’s a clerihew: Donald Trump Uses a gold-plated crapper when he takes a dump. His hands are tiny and his hair is bad, And his thoughts are all 140 characters. SAD! ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/32 "2017-01-18T15:01:55Z")
Humpity-Trumpity Orange new POTUS Is planning to tweetstorm 'Til freedoms are gone. Acetaminophen’s The panacea That eases the headaches His postings bring on. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/33 "2017-01-18T15:03:50Z")
Bush’s two terms Were only a bump Compared to the shitstorm That is Trump BurmaShave ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/34 "2017-01-18T15:12:30Z")
Legalize scansion! ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/35 "2017-01-18T15:23:59Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > Without clicking the link, I’m going to guess it starts with: > Hickory dickory dock NM ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/36 "2017-01-18T16:23:36Z")
Hickory dockory dick, His Trumpness makes me sick. He’ll grab some pussy And call you a wussy While collecting your urine. SO SICK! ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/37 "2017-01-18T16:43:49Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > But you failed to include that knowledge in your post? You wanna go that route, then I’ll point out that the OP doesn’t say whether it’s official or not. It’s just how people talk. No need to try and pick an argument. I mean, when a website throws out three errors just trying to load, I don’t think any of us took it that seriously. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/38 "2017-01-18T16:56:52Z")
Whenever Donald Trump went down town, We people on the pavement looked at him: Eh, just skip to the end. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/39 "2017-01-18T16:59:27Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Whenever Donald Trump went down town, > We people on the pavement looked at him: > > Eh, just skip to the end. Heaven help me, I laughed. ---
**Author:** ![xenophon41](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xenophon41/32/253_2.png) [@xenophon41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xenophon41)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444/40 "2017-01-18T17:39:52Z")
Come, they told me, _Ta- **rump** pa pum pum_ A gilded king to see _Ta- **rump** pa pum pum_ Our finest days he’ll bring _Ta- **rump** pa pum pum_ Straight white and proud we’ll be _Ta- **rump** pa pum pum, **Trump** pa pum pum Trump pa pum pum_ Make us great again _Ta- **rump** pa pum pum_ Gee are we dumb. Little tweeting fool _Ta- **rump** pa pum pum_ I am a poor boy too _Ta- **rump** pa pum pum_ Just not in spirit like you _Ta- **rump** pa pum pum_ My purse will have to do _Ta- **rump** pa pum pum, **Trump** pa pum pum Trump pa pum pum_ Shall I vote for you _Ta- **rump** pa pum pum_ Because I’m so dumb [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-smokes-trump-got-himself-an-inauguration-pome/777444.md?page=3)