# Holy Water **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 18, 2020, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-water/846617 "2020-01-18T13:40:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2020, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-water/846617/41 "2020-01-19T15:36:05Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > You didn’t use the word “foxhole”, I’ll give you that. How about “hospital waiting room”? ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2020, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-water/846617/42 "2020-01-19T15:59:06Z")
> [@VOW](#): > > How about “hospital waiting room”? > ~VOW Or “[morgue](https://slate.com/human-interest/2019/12/olive-alayne-heiligenthal-resurrection-bethel-church.html)”? ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2020, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-water/846617/43 "2020-01-19T16:12:20Z")
I’m just impressed that someone is selling shoes to let people “walk on (holy) water”. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2020, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-water/846617/44 "2020-01-19T16:15:14Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Or “[morgue](https://slate.com/human-interest/2019/12/olive-alayne-heiligenthal-resurrection-bethel-church.html)”? My husband had a heart attack Friday evening. I prefer not to discuss morgues at this time. You are welcome to tease about foolish superstitions, though. ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2020, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-water/846617/45 "2020-01-19T17:17:08Z")
So, there’s an evangelical minister named Peter Popoff, who is pretty clearly a scam artist. He runs TV ads (mostly on late night TV) for his “Miracle Spring Water.” [Take a look at the “claims” being made by people in the ad on this page](https://www.truthinadvertising.org/peter-popoffs-miracle-spring-water/) – one woman claims that she was cured of paralysis after drinking the water, and another one claims that after “anointing” her checkbook with the water, she received a check for $45,000. Sending for the spring water (which Popoff says he’ll send you at no charge) gets you on his mailing list, with lots of prophecies about monetary windfalls that will come your way, if you only send him some money. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2020, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-water/846617/46 "2020-01-19T17:21:13Z")
I bet he’s known as Peter Jerkoff behind his back. ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2020, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-water/846617/47 "2020-01-19T17:49:43Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > So, there’s an evangelical minister named Peter Popoff, who is pretty clearly a scam artist… I’d worry that if I anointed my sensitive spots with his water, it might make my peter pop off. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2020, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-water/846617/48 "2020-01-19T18:40:46Z")
> [@VOW](#): > > How about “hospital waiting room”? > ~VOW There is a surprisingly skeptical saying from Hispanic countries: “If the patient died, it was the doctor’s fault; if it survived, it was the Virgin…” Well, maybe not very as I usually saw it in doctor’s offices in the old country. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2020, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-water/846617/49 "2020-01-19T18:52:10Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > I don’t think anybody gives it that much thought. They probably think, “Hey, it _is_ holy water. It’s been blessed, after all.” This reminded of a very old tv show, Kolchak: The Night Stalker, in \*The Werewolf \*episode Kolchak discovers a murderous werewolf in a cruise ship and goes to find about how to eliminate a werewolf, he found about the bit about silver bullets and that they need to be blessed. Only that there was no priest on the cruise ship, Kolchak only managed to find a guy that had left the church to do the blessing, and as it was an emergency he hoped and prayed that it would do. Well, they were blessed after all, the bullets did work against the werewolf. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2020, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-water/846617/50 "2020-01-19T18:58:10Z")
> [@DrForrester](#): > > Sure. Absolutely. > > Computers would’ve seemed magical not even 100 years ago. They’re pretty magical as far as I am concerned. They work for everyone. I paid for mine. > > So, yeah, if you had an amulet, for example, that really could cure my lumbago, I’d be willing to shell out a few quid. You know a medical treatment for lumbago thats 100 effective for everyone who tries it? ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2020, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-water/846617/51 "2020-01-19T18:59:43Z")
My favorite holy water bit was an early John Constantine comic, where he’s drinking with a priest who compliments him on “the tastiest Guiness I’ve ever had.” Constantine winks and says “Well, it was your holy water until I lit those candles and turned it into Guiness.” Later, Satan himself shows up, and over beers with the two gents, gets around to blackmailing and threatening Constantine. Ol’ Scratch has him by the throat and, as he’s about to take his soul, Constantine kicks out, knocking over the candles… … which means the Guiness that the devil had drunk is now reverting to holy water in his stomach. ---
**Author:** ![DrForrester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8edcca/32.png) [@DrForrester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrForrester)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2020, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-water/846617/52 "2020-01-19T19:00:31Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > You know a medical treatment for lumbago thats 100 effective for everyone who tries it? Death? ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2020, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-water/846617/53 "2020-01-19T19:05:17Z")
> [@RioRico](#): > > I’ve been ordained a few times so I’m authorized to bless anything and everything. With nothing better to do today, I’ll bless Earth’s hydrosphere, every single fucking drop of water anywhere. Inhale to be purified. Inhale again. Yah! As a demon I feel that I’m being discriminated against. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2020, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-water/846617/54 "2020-01-19T22:05:28Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > I remember that from when I was a Catholic. Always wondered if the impetus for that change came from parishioners who didn’t want a priest putting his dirty fingers in their mouth, or priests who didn’t want to put their fingers in a communicant’s stinky mouth. It was a move to bring the communicant (person receiving) more into the Sacrament. And to make it more like the Last Supper as practiced in many of the Eastern Orthodox and Protestant churches. Vatican II was about a lot of things; cleanliness I don’t believe was mentioned. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2020, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-water/846617/55 "2020-01-19T22:29:19Z")
> [@DrForrester](#): > > I am letting my ignorance show, I know, but I am genuinely curious how we get from the concept you have described to injecting the water into shoes or spraying it onto crowds of people in a crop duster? > > My disdain isn’t intended to be aimed at religious practice. I understand the emotional attachment. It’s the idea of selling shoes for $2000 - or maybe the idea of buying shoes for $2000 - that seems to just explode the whole idea of what it means for something to be sacred. > > In my mind, it’s a little like sex. Bear with me. > > Sex is meant to be special / intimate / personal. Like religious practices. Prostitutes and/or pornography discard the entire concept of intimacy. Like injecting holy water into shoes. > > I’m the alien looking at the pornography scratching my head, wondering how we ever got to this point. Sorry for the late reply. I somehow missed seeing this yesterday. It’s an excellent question. I’m afraid my response must be long. Re: the so-called “Jesus Sneakers,” the company, MSCHF, claims the shoes are injected with water from the River Jordan that has been blessed by a priest. It’s a ridiculous gimmick, and if the River Jordan water really _has_ been blessed by a priest, those buying and those selling the shoes are both guilty, according to Catholic doctrine, of the sin of simony (buying or selling a blessing). If the water has been blessed, company could sell the shoes for the market value of the Nike Air Max 97’s—under $200. The $1400 price tag says they’re selling the blessing. I doubt the company cares about simony, and consumers probably don’t know and/or care. You could sell water from the River Jordan all day long without committing a sin if it hasn’t been blessed. Water from the River Jordan (or Lourdes) is viewed by some people as holy because of the events believed to have happened there. But though people mistakenly call this holy water, the Church doesn’t regard such water as equivalent to water that has been blessed by Catholic clergy. The prayer the priest prays over the water may help explain this difference: “Lord, God Almighty, creator of all life, of body and soul, we ask you to bless this water: as we use it in faith forgive our sins and save us from all illness and the power of evil. Lord, in your mercy give us living water, always springing up as a fountain of salvation; free us, body and soul, from every danger, and admit us to your presence in purity of heart.” As I see the concept—and again, I’m no theologian–it’s God working (for lack of a better term) through the water and not the water itself that is doing the protecting. But some believers either forget this or don’t grasp the concept, and from there it’s a short hop to (wrongly) viewing holy water as a sort of cure-all that can be bought or sold. Voila, $1400 simony shoes! I hope this helps. ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2020, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-water/846617/56 "2020-01-19T22:37:18Z")
> [@digs](#): > > My favorite holy water bit was an early John Constantine comic, where he’s drinking with a priest who compliments him on “the tastiest Guiness I’ve ever had.” Constantine winks and says “Well, it was your holy water until I lit those candles and turned it into Guiness.” > > Later, Satan himself shows up, and over beers with the two gents, gets around to blackmailing and threatening Constantine. Ol’ Scratch has him by the throat and, as he’s about to take his soul, Constantine kicks out, knocking over the candles… > > … which means the Guiness that the devil had drunk is now reverting to holy water in his stomach. When water miraculously turns into wine (or beer), doesn’t it stay that way? What do candles have to do with it? Now in Lucifer #15 (the more recent series), John Constantine calls on Lucifer at his house, which Lucifer magically built in a single day. At some point he finds a couple of dusty old bottles of booze at the back of a cupboard. He then pours some holy water into a bottle of wine in order to kill a ghost. Before drinking it, the ghost remarks that if the Dark Lord only built the house yesterday, where did the bottle come from? Did he make it too, and did he put dust on the bottle especially? Constantine replies that he wouldn’t put it past him. (Therefore, in DC comics, holy water kills evil ghosts, and Satan is perfectly capable of creating his own drinks, just like Mephistopheles in _Faust_.) ---
**Author:** ![Isosleepy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/isosleepy/32/479_2.png) [@Isosleepy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isosleepy)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-water/846617/57 "2020-01-20T00:36:03Z")
> [@digs](#): > > You’d think a church trying to appeal to rational, smart people in the 21st century would minimize the amount of “Just turn your brain off and don’t question our magic objects”. > > As an Assistant (to the) Minister, I serve Communion at our church. So glad it’s a rational church and I don’t have to believe that the water literally turns into blood. > > I mean, no DNA test needed. A quick check for hemoglobin and the scam’s all over, right? > > We’ve had a Catholic church sharing our church while their cathedral’s being renovated (wasn’t sufficiently over-the-top). They do a study group on Sunday nights, and I’ve caught bits of it. The presentation on Holy Water (and other Blessed Items) was jaw-droppingly crazy. It was equal parts Unbelievable Magic and Wishful Thinking. > > If you can get a Bishop to consecrate a juice glass, a sip from that will take the place of any vitamins or pain-relievers you’re taking (or other meds? Could get dangerous…). Seriously, they discussed many formerly-mundane objects, from Blessed Boots to Holy Ball-Point Pens. > > (The pen was intimated to help with prosperity…“Yo, padre, I gots this wallet what’s usually empty…”) As an Atheist, I shouldn’t give a shit, but since this is still the SD: there is zero chance those people you overheard have any roman catholic catechism instruction whatsoever. Or, of course, you didn’t hear what you thought you heard. Given that you clearly have some presuppositions about the rc church, I suspect the latter. There are people on this board significantly better qualified than I to expound how exactly nothing you wrote conforms you rc dogma, perhaps they will be willing to clarify. ---
**Author:** ![atimnie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atimnie/32/11_2.png) [@atimnie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/atimnie)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-water/846617/58 "2020-01-20T02:08:05Z")
> [@VOW](#): > > Scoff at them, but don’t berate those who believe. The small outward symbols of belief are a great comfort to many. > > Absolute science is not something you can touch and hold and draw comfort from when your life is in turmoil. An outside threat to a family, the crumbling of the world you know, and the critical health of a much-beloved family member shakes you to your very foundation. Normal reasoning skills become fractured, and it is oh so difficult to drag yourself through each day. > > Religious belief can be a great source of comfort, of stability then. To have those beliefs slammed by a nonbeliever is cruel, especially when the nonbeliever is doing so simply for the entertainment factor. > ~VOW It’s not like I seek out believers to belittle their faith, but if some assturd comes on YouTube with their creationist flat earth geocentric bullshit, I’ll have something to say about that. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-water/846617/59 "2020-01-20T03:02:11Z")
> [@digs](#): > > We’ve had a Catholic church sharing our church while their cathedral’s being renovated (wasn’t sufficiently over-the-top). They do a study group on Sunday nights, and I’ve caught bits of it. The presentation on Holy Water (and other Blessed Items) was jaw-droppingly crazy. It was equal parts Unbelievable Magic and Wishful Thinking. > > If you can get a Bishop to consecrate a juice glass, a sip from that will take the place of any vitamins or pain-relievers you’re taking (or other meds? Could get dangerous…). Seriously, they discussed many formerly-mundane objects, from Blessed Boots to Holy Ball-Point Pens. > > (The pen was intimated to help with prosperity…“Yo, padre, I gots this wallet what’s usually empty…”) I do not believe this. No Catholic priest or layperson authorized by the Church to teach ever taught, anywhere, at any time, that there were blessed objects, like pens, that would bring prosperity to the possessor. Perhaps you eavesdropped on a talk about some other “blessed item,” by which I’m guessing that the person talking meant sacramentals, perhaps a rosary, for example. You should have stuck around for the whole talk, and then you might have the beginnings of an accurate understanding of what was talked about. This kind of blessing does not invest the object with magical powers, and the Church does not say that it does. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-water/846617/60 "2020-01-20T04:50:05Z")
Thanks for the comments, I’ll check this out. But, wait… you KNOW what this priest said? You’re leaping right to 'there is zero chance those people you overheard have any roman catholic catechism instruction whatsoever." Ummm, it was the head priest. Just looked him up: “Fr. \_\_\_\_\_ has been the Pastor of St.\_\_\_ since 2006 and a priest of the Diocese of \_\_\_\_ since 1995.” So, how do you know for certain a priest would never say anything not completely in line with Catholic Doctrine? I’ll see if I can ask him, as he was indeed the priest who was explaining the “objects blessed/consecrated by a priest or bishop”. I DO hope I have it wrong, because the part I heard was unequivocally a belief in magic. Or, technically, a belief in blessed items having supernatural powers imbued by the blessing, and retaining that power long after being consecrated. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-water/846617.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/holy-water/846617.md?page=4)