# Home Depot Thunderdome: Choose Your Weapon **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [May 13, 2016, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-depot-thunderdome-choose-your-weapon/754652 "2016-05-13T03:46:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2016, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-depot-thunderdome-choose-your-weapon/754652/41 "2016-05-13T20:06:04Z")
I can’t decide between a [1/2" steel pipe, 6 ft long](http://www.homedepot.com/p/LDR-Industries-1-2-in-x-60-in-Black-Steel-Schedule-40-Cut-Pipe-306-12X60/100544825), or a [14 ft. long tree pruner](http://www.homedepot.com/p/Fiskars-14-ft-Bypass-Pruner-93006966J/100153111). ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2016, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-depot-thunderdome-choose-your-weapon/754652/42 "2016-05-13T20:20:12Z")
> [@Richard\_Parker](#): > > But don’t they sell high-pressure washers? On full power, those suckers can split a watermelon from a couple of feet away. Might be enough to blind someone or knock them over or otherwise incapacitate for long enough to kill them. I think this is the winner. Looks like they have washers that go up to 4200 PSI. That could do some serious damage, and you have better range than anything else. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2016, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-depot-thunderdome-choose-your-weapon/754652/43 "2016-05-13T20:21:09Z")
Six pack of bug bombs. I might not “win” but I’m taking you down with me. > [@AlsoNamedBort](#): > > I think this is the winner. Looks like they have washers that go up to 4200 PSI. That could do some serious damage, and you have better range than anything else. Do they require an external water hookup? Might have trouble finding a spigot in the HD Thunderdome. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2016, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-depot-thunderdome-choose-your-weapon/754652/44 "2016-05-13T20:27:04Z")
> [@moldmonkey](#): > > Billhook: > > [http://www.homedepot.com/p/True-Temper-16-in-Ditch-Bank-Blade-with-Wood-Handle-2316600/100466221](http://www.homedepot.com/p/True-Temper-16-in-Ditch-Bank-Blade-with-Wood-Handle-2316600/100466221) > > Good for chopping, slashing with some reach and light enough to strike quickly. That is exactly what I was thinking as well; last time I was at Home Depot, I took one off the rack and sort of waved it around, thinking just how martial it seemed, without realizing that the “ditchbank” is basically the old 14th century “Bill” that English infantrymen used, which was actually an agricultural implement repurposed as a weapon anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2016, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-depot-thunderdome-choose-your-weapon/754652/45 "2016-05-13T20:59:28Z")
Maybe instead of a door for a shield, go for complete protection and cloak yourself in a small refrigerator. Open the door, stand facing away from the opening, and pull it onto your back, essentially enveloping yourself in the fridge compartment on three sides. The fridge door would be a shield, and if you were to whip your body around quickly, the freezer door on top would swing around as a sort of bludgeon. It’s not the most practical weapon, but think of it as analogous to an animal fluffing itself up to look big for intimidation purposes. If you peel the gaskets off the sides of the shelves, there might be some sharp edges to use as an admittedly awkward blade. And if you’re allowed to have the water hookup, then you could scatter ice cubes to make your opponent slip. Finally, after killing your opponent and cutting out his heart, you could keep it cold for preservation, especially if you didn’t want to eat it all right away. This is starting to feel like an unconventional-materials challenge from Project Runway. > [@Jophiel](#): > > [This propane torch kit would be interesting](http://www.homedepot.com/p/Lincoln-Electric-Inferno-Propane-Torch-Kit-KH825-01/100341111). Certainly, the other guy would probably be unexcited about getting too close to me. Looks like it produces a pretty sizable flame as well. I don’t know how well I’d be able to lug around the tank and chase a guy, though. I don’t know that it would disable your opponent quickly enough, though; it’s not a light saber. (:p) If he’s willing to risk a burn, he could step in somewhat readily and cut your hose. In general, it seems like it would be hard to immobilize him long enough to sear him to death. A gruesome way of killing your opponent, to be sure. ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2016, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-depot-thunderdome-choose-your-weapon/754652/46 "2016-05-13T21:37:02Z")
I wonder how many of you will make it… **Beyond Thunderdome**! ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2016, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-depot-thunderdome-choose-your-weapon/754652/47 "2016-05-13T22:53:52Z")
I think I’d dual wield axes. A smaller hatchet that could be used for ranged attacks and larger, heavier one for CQC. ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2016, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-depot-thunderdome-choose-your-weapon/754652/48 "2016-05-13T23:26:38Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > I don’t know that it would disable your opponent quickly enough, though; it’s not a light saber. (:p) If he’s willing to risk a burn, he could step in somewhat readily and cut your hose. In general, it seems like it would be hard to immobilize him long enough to sear him to death. A gruesome way of killing your opponent, to be sure. Maybe an acetylene torch would work better? [http://www.popsci.com/sites/popsci.com/files/styles/medium\_1x\_/public/import/2013/images/2009/10/flame.jpg?itok=irNvfkB7](http://www.popsci.com/sites/popsci.com/files/styles/medium_1x_/public/import/2013/images/2009/10/flame.jpg?itok=irNvfkB7) ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2016, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-depot-thunderdome-choose-your-weapon/754652/49 "2016-05-14T00:34:06Z")
I’m going to keep it simple, and go for a nice 6’ length of inch-diameter oak closet rod. I’m sure it’s not the most effective weapon overall, but it’s at a nice trade-off point of reach and wieldability, and it has the tremendous advantage that I’ve actually trained a bit in how to fight with one. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2016, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-depot-thunderdome-choose-your-weapon/754652/50 "2016-05-14T01:17:45Z")
That, I think, is the key. Without some training or practice, just about anything you pick is going to be problematic. A weapon you know how to use is better than a “better” one you don’t. ---
**Author:** ![GoodOmens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@GoodOmens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GoodOmens)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2016, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-depot-thunderdome-choose-your-weapon/754652/51 "2016-05-14T12:19:02Z")
I’m tempted to go simple and go with a length of PVC pipe, 2, maybe 2 1/2 feet. I don’t know if it has the durability for a killing hit but it’s enough to knock someone silly, and after that things should be easy. It’s also lightweight, which is a benefit because I plan to run away, a lot, from my opponent if he’s carrying any heavier. Or a long screwdriver, basically a shiv. Quercus probably has the right of it, in that the most efficient choice is probably a machete. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one at my local Home Depot, but I’ve also never gone looking. When I was in Santa Fe, a small village in Panama, a local store was selling really nice carbon steel machete for the equivalent of about 2 bucks. I really wanted to buy some but figured that getting those past security might be a hassle. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2016, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-depot-thunderdome-choose-your-weapon/754652/52 "2016-05-14T14:49:46Z")
The machete linked upthread said “Pickup today” so it must be in store. In case you don’t like the machete but still want to the obvious weapon route, there’s [gardening](http://www.homedepot.com/p/Fiskars-14-in-Big-Grip-Garden-Knife-70796935J/202681617) [knives](http://www.homedepot.com/p/Sun-Joe-SJHH1902-Hori-Hori-Garden-Landscaping-Digging-Tool-with-Stainless-Steel-Blade-SJHH1902/205783172) you could buy. Probably beats trying to stab someone with a screwdriver. I’m guessing [stuff like this](http://www.homedepot.com/p/Sportsman-Butcher-s-Knife-Set-MPKS10BM/205071737?MERCH=REC-_-PIPHorizontal1_rr-_-206814674-_-205071737-_-N) is disqualified. Otherwise… bingo! ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2016, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-depot-thunderdome-choose-your-weapon/754652/53 "2016-05-14T14:56:01Z")
Actually, that knife set (and others I found) aren’t sold in stores and thus violate the “found in a well-stocked Home Depot rule”. Oh well. Back to the gardening implements. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2016, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-depot-thunderdome-choose-your-weapon/754652/54 "2016-05-14T16:45:34Z")
> [@Ike\_Witt](#): > > I think I’d dual wield axes. A smaller hatchet that could be used for ranged attacks and larger, heavier one for CQC. While it’s a good idea it violates the rule that you may have just one item. I’ll also have to rule on Jophiel’s knife set as being disallowed, even if you can find it in store. A “set” of items violates the spirit of the one weapon rule (as would, say, a two for one deal on axes.) You can choose that set and bring in one knife from it, though. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2016, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-depot-thunderdome-choose-your-weapon/754652/55 "2016-05-14T17:03:15Z")
Pitchfork. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2016, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-depot-thunderdome-choose-your-weapon/754652/56 "2016-05-15T00:32:51Z")
Y’know, on thinking about it… They might not sell forklifts, but the Home Depot near me _does_ rent out pickup trucks. A 30’ by 30’ room is too small to use a truck to its full potential, but it’d provide a lot of protection from most of the weapons mentioned so far, and you’d only need to get one good hit to crush your opponent against a wall. ---
**Author:** ![russian\_heel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f05b48/32.png) [@russian\_heel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/russian_heel)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2016, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-depot-thunderdome-choose-your-weapon/754652/57 "2016-05-15T08:11:54Z")
I propose the 30x30 room closes 5x5 feet every 5 minutes, preventing stalling. A lot of the weapons proposed use wooden handles, Id be afraid of the stems breaking during combat; fiberglass handled weapons would much more trustworthy. As for my nail gun not being powerful enough, I know someone that disagrees with RickyJay!😃 [![](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/436/3249/1600/number%201.png) ](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/436/3249/1600/number%201.png) ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2016, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-depot-thunderdome-choose-your-weapon/754652/58 "2016-05-15T08:35:02Z")
A bucket of sand. I mean, a machete is great and all, but pretty much whatever the opponent picks I can fight dirty with a bucket of sand. ---
**Author:** ![Nefario](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/59ef9b/32.png) [@Nefario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nefario)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2016, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-depot-thunderdome-choose-your-weapon/754652/59 "2016-05-15T19:09:16Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > However, every week “Home Depot Thunderdome” will feature the Thursday Joust, a single bout where the contestants must wield their weapons of choice while driving a Hyster H80-120FT fork truck. HeeHee…I engineer these! Serously! And we have SPED - the Special Products and Equipment Design department. [We can build some _INTERESTING_ stuff!](https://www.psndealer.com/powersportsdlr/images/ARNOLDMACHINERYMH/Tire%20handler.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2016, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-depot-thunderdome-choose-your-weapon/754652/60 "2016-05-15T19:55:49Z")
I was gonna go with the hornet spray, but maybe the pressure washer would be better. I dunno–getting sprayed in the face with either would be pretty uncomfortable. The hornet spray would give me a little more time, as I could run backwards spraying at the opponent’s face, whereas the pressure washer makes me immobile most likely. If someone gets poison to the face, they’re going to have a hard time fighting effectively. Keep up the spray, and eventually whatever weapon they chose becomes my weapon instead. If they can get to me before I can get a good shot at their eyes/nose/mouth, though, I’m hosed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-depot-thunderdome-choose-your-weapon/754652.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-depot-thunderdome-choose-your-weapon/754652.md?page=4)