# Home surgery fails **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 24, 2016, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-surgery-fails/763785 "2016-08-24T02:47:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-surgery-fails/763785/21 "2016-08-25T00:27:18Z")
> [@Sattua](#): > > Ooh, those. I got lots under my arms when I was pregnant. I did the “pinch with fingernails for 30 seconds” technique, and they usually dropped off within a week. Hmm. I have had one in my armpit for quite a while now. I was thinking toenail clippers\* but it’s in an awkward spot. \*sterilized of course. It makes me think of House: “I’m wearing a rumpled shirt and I forgot to brush my hair this week. You have athlete’s foot in your nose. I’m ready to be judged.” ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-surgery-fails/763785/22 "2016-08-25T00:28:15Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > This sounds very unwise. Oh, it is. Very. Such manipulation as described by the OP increases the risk of infection and subsequent possibility of sepsis by a good order of magnitude. I routinely see guys who did autosurgery like this who need IV antibiotics, and sometimes ICU atays. Now, 90+% of the time people will get away with it. But recognize that it is a form of russian roulette. But that’s free will for you. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-surgery-fails/763785/23 "2016-08-25T01:56:12Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > I routinely see guys who did autosurgery like this who need IV antibiotics, and sometimes ICU atays. I’m thinking about my ex-wife’s skin tags. Dental floss, pinch or nail clippers. Which is more likely to require intravenous antibiotics? I could keep the nail clippers in the compost bin for a week. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-surgery-fails/763785/24 "2016-08-25T01:56:47Z")
While they had me on three antibiotics for H Pylori, I used an exacto blade to open up a sebaceous cyst on my chest just below my throat. It was the size of a garbanzo bean and had been there draining and filling for years, but had become resistant to draining and was getting too big and making me nervous. I squeezed all the of the gunk out of it and applied antibiotic ointment. If I ignore them, they eventually will burst under the skin and cause an awful pus filled excruciating mess. I could have gone to the doctor, but instead of just opening it up and draining it she would have parted me out to the dermatologist who would have soaked medicare for three or four hundred dollars. Phooey on that. My chest was a good place to do it. Usually, I have to sit on them and don’t have the option of taking care of them myself. I feel much better now. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-surgery-fails/763785/25 "2016-08-25T04:23:23Z")
Okay, it’s too late for some of you, but to those lurkers who (like me) are fascinated: **Call a pro.** You really don’t want an infection, especially with antibiotic-resistant bacterias running around. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-surgery-fails/763785/26 "2016-08-25T04:42:06Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Oh, it is. Very. > > Such manipulation as described by the OP increases the risk of infection and subsequent possibility of sepsis by a good order of magnitude. I routinely see guys who did autosurgery like this who need IV antibiotics, and sometimes ICU atays. > > Now, 90+% of the time people will get away with it. But recognize that it is a form of russian roulette. > > But that’s free will for you. 🆒 I think what really freaked my out about this, aside from the danger of infection, was the idea of pulling on something with pliers. If you can’t pull something out with pliers then you probably shouldn’t be pulling on it with _anything_, let alone pliers. Mind you, that’s just a layman’s opinion. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-surgery-fails/763785/27 "2016-08-25T05:15:47Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > I think what really freaked my out about this, aside from the danger of infection, was the idea of pulling on something with pliers. If you can’t pull something out with pliers then you probably shouldn’t be pulling on it with _anything_, let alone pliers. Mind you, that’s just a layman’s opinion. The pliers came out not because it needed to be pulled hard, but because it was too slippery to grasp with tweezers. We went through prokaryotic aseptic technique before he used them. What was odd about the whole thing was that I felt no pain at all. The cyst had taken its time coming to the surface, I guess, so everything had healed around it. Husband reports there was no blood. In general, though, we are through with the home surgeries. They aren’t successful. This morning my husband said that if the doctor must shave me, let him shave me, and I should have all the cysts taken out at the same time, in the winter, when I can wear a hat. The doctor previously advised me to “live with” the large cyst. I was happy to do that. Until it went kersplooie. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-surgery-fails/763785/28 "2016-08-25T05:33:00Z")
> [@erysichthon](#): > > Did you make a video of this? Cyst-popping videos are very, very popular on YouTube. You could be a star! 😃 I was going to suggest this myself! :eek: They are about equally divided between those shot by physicians (with the patient’s permission) and amateur work, which is usually accompanied by plenty of alcohol and often cigarettes, which aren’t exactly good for healing. I don’t recommend doing this: > **[Strangest or grossest thing you've seen online](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=771924)** > > I know there are other threads about this topic, but I can’t find them so I’m going to start my own. You Tube has literally thousands of videos of people draining abscesses and sebaceous cysts; some are done by physicians (with the patient... I just had a large cyst removed from the crown of my own head a couple months ago, by the same plastic surgeon who removed another cyst from my scalp on the morning of 9/11. (He didn’t remember me.) He didn’t have to shave any hair either time; however, the second time, he told me that he would have to remove about a square inch of scalp because the cyst was so large, so it would heal properly. I told him, “Gosh, too bad I’m not a guy, because then you could use it for a hair transplant.” 😛 It was a lot messier than I remembered it before, and it was about a half hour before I felt like driving myself home and several more hours before my appetite returned. Even though it cost about $600 out of pocket (I have a high-deductible policy), I’m glad I had it done because it had become inflamed and was uncomfortable. A while back, my BFF had an earwax buildup and didn’t want to spend the $108 it would cost to have his doctor do it, and was considering using his son’s Water-Pik to take care of it. :eek: I told him, “It will cost a lot more than $108 if you rupture your eardrum. Have the doctor do it.” ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-surgery-fails/763785/29 "2016-08-25T05:38:56Z")
> [@Sattua](#): > > At one point when he had the needle really deep I heard something go _crunch_, and that … um … went through my mind. When the doctor sewed up the incision, it felt like he was lacing a boot. Two weeks later when I came back to have the stitches removed, it turned out he used bright blue thread (he wanted 3-0 but it wasn’t handy, so he used 2-0) that was about the thickness of regular sewing thread. He told me that the heavier thread would leave a thicker scar, and I replied, “If I’m ever bald, that will be the least of my worries.” BTW, Sattua, did the cyst contents smell? Mine didn’t, and I’m glad because both doctors said that an infected sebaceous cyst is one of the worst-smelling things that can come out of a human body. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-surgery-fails/763785/30 "2016-08-25T05:53:26Z")
> [@pohjonen](#): > > I could have gone to the doctor, but instead of just opening it up and draining it she would have parted me out to the dermatologist who would have soaked medicare for three or four hundred dollars. Phooey on that. I don’t understand this. That’s what insurance is for. Why not use it? It’s meant to be used for legitimate medical expenses, and that sure sounded like one. I had a cyst my neck a few years ago and I was happy to have the specialist take care of it. I was happy to pay a $50 copay to have the rest of the cost covered. It’s not soaking Medicare to take advantage of it. > [@](#): > > I feel much better now. As Buddy Ryan always said on _Night Court_.\* \*Harry Stone’s father, who spent 25 years in a mental institution. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-surgery-fails/763785/31 "2016-08-25T12:25:57Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > I’m thinking about my ex-wife’s skin tags. > Dental floss, pinch or nail clippers. Which is more likely to require intravenous antibiotics? I could keep the nail clippers in the compost bin for a week. > :dubious: Feh, That’s not home surgery. That’s little more than clipping toenails. Even so, there’s a small degree of risk with that, but one I’d generally call trivial for most folks, and easily minimized even further with some alcohol swabs, or even soap and water. What the OP describes however, i.e. squeezing out pus, tearing out a cyst (or trying to), using a pliers and other instrumentation, is the sort of activity that makes for a greatly increased risk of significant consequences. Be disdainful of such warnings if you wish, but dismiss the very real risks at your own peril. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-surgery-fails/763785/32 "2016-08-25T12:58:59Z")
Speaking of “significant consequences”, messing around with (and not completely excising) such cysts likely will result in them rupturing their stinky/gooey/keratinous contents into the surrounding soft tissue, which causes inflammation and giant cell reaction, leading to scarring and annoying/unsightly bumps. Infection of course is another potential hazard. Minor pathologist pet peeve: while superficial skin/scalp cysts are commonly referred to as “sebaceous cysts”, they rarely are derived from sebaceous glands. They are generally epidermal inclusion cysts (i.e. lined by epithelium that resembles that of skin), or (in the case of those occurring on the scalp) are typically [trichilemmal (pilar) cysts](http://www.dermnetnz.org/topics/pilar-cyst/), derived from the hair root sheath. And now you know. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-surgery-fails/763785/33 "2016-08-25T14:29:28Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Feh, That’s not home surgery. That’s little more than clipping toenails. Even so, there’s a small degree of risk with that, but one I’d generally call trivial for most folks, and easily minimized even further with some alcohol swabs, or even soap and water. Thanks, Qadgop. dammit. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-surgery-fails/763785/34 "2016-08-25T17:49:51Z")
> [@Sattua](#): > > Dayum, girl. You win. Well, I guess I was lucky. Never did get any wisdom, though. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-surgery-fails/763785/35 "2016-08-25T21:39:44Z")
> [@pohjonen](#): > > While they had me on three antibiotics for H Pylori, I used an exacto blade to open up a sebaceous cyst on my chest just below my throat. It was the size of a garbanzo bean and had been there draining and filling for years, but had become resistant to draining and was getting too big and making me nervous. I squeezed all the of the gunk out of it and applied antibiotic ointment. If I ignore them, they eventually will burst under the skin and cause an awful pus filled excruciating mess. I could have gone to the doctor, but instead of just opening it up and draining it she would have parted me out to the dermatologist who would have soaked medicare for three or four hundred dollars. Phooey on that. > > My chest was a good place to do it. Usually, I have to sit on them and don’t have the option of taking care of them myself. > > I feel much better now. You paid into Medicare all your working life. That’s what it’s for. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-surgery-fails/763785/36 "2016-08-25T21:45:00Z")
Am I the only one who never gets these things? I’ve never had one. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-surgery-fails/763785/37 "2016-08-25T22:33:00Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > Am I the only one who never gets these things? I’ve never had one. You will now. But seriously, I’m also prone to cystic acne, discoid eczema, foot calluses that alarm the pedicure ladies, and that keratinosis thing where you have bumps all over your upper arms. I’m just bad at sloughing. That’s probably why I get them. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2016, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-surgery-fails/763785/38 "2016-08-26T01:07:08Z")
No cysts here, either. But yes skin tags. And acne. But not cystic. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/home-surgery-fails/763785.md?page=1)