# Homecoming? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 9, 2006, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homecoming/372049 "2006-09-09T05:39:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![FormerMarineGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/65b543/32.png) [@FormerMarineGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FormerMarineGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homecoming/372049/21 "2006-09-11T20:38:33Z")
> [@](#): > > **Gunnsfastest** stated _Judging xash I know that a lot of you guys might now be the best with ladies_ I am assuming you meant that a lot of us guys might not be the best with the ladies and am still looking myself in the mirror trying to figure out what you mean. But assuming you are listening to what everyone is saying I will offer my two cents. To agree with everyone else, the fire thing is a bad idea. Again…bad! Some of the ideas here are good. If you have some serious balls, you can just get her name tattooed across your chest and tell her you are love with her. Follow it up with a call to her house every two minutes and pebbles against her window at two in the morning. When they call the police, slip the officer a twenty to arrest her instead and lock you two in the back of the squad car together, you could ask her to the homecoming. Or just walk up and ask her what time she wants you to pick her up. That’s a better way to go, to me. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homecoming/372049/22 "2006-09-11T20:47:08Z")
> [@Pullet](#): > > You on her lawn in a trech coat with an oversized boom box playing a tape of you singing “Will you go to homecoming with me?” really loud held above your head. It’s like John Cusack on crack. I like it. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homecoming/372049/23 "2006-09-11T21:04:12Z")
[QUOTE=Enderw24] Engrave your invite backwards on a dodge ball. Then when you smack her in the thigh during gym class, she’ll see your lovely invite through the red welt left behind. [/QUOTE] You win! ---
**Author:** ![Gunnsfastest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/71e660/32.png) [@Gunnsfastest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunnsfastest)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homecoming/372049/24 "2006-09-12T01:41:49Z")
I think I have arrived at a recipe for success… now it’s time for the great Don Juans at SDMB to help me refine it _or_ tear it apart. **Step 1:** [QUOTE=kittenblue] Does she drive to school or take a bus each morning? Do the Burma Shave thing and have a series of signs on poster board along her route, asking her to the dance… It’s cheap, it’s memorable, and also very, very public without setting fire to anything. [/QUOTE] Yes, she drives (the car will come into play later). **Step 1.5:** [QUOTE=FormerMarineGuy] To agree with everyone else, the fire thing is a bad idea. Again…bad!. [/QUOTE] So fire… it was a bad idea. At least I had my heart in the right place. However, I have found a way to get a similar, albeit not as explosive, sudden darkness-to-light effect: **Projector** Hooked up to Laptop. **Step 2** : [QUOTE=duality72] Record yourself asking her to the dance, make it into an MP3, and surreptitiously either a) put the MP3 on her iPod (might help to queue it up to play next or something or you might be in for a long wait if it’s on random) or b) swap her iPod with a ‘plant’ that has your MP3 plus a few others or something on it. If you really want to geek it up, make your dance invitation into a jazz song. [/QUOTE] Okay record my own track… [QUOTE=Pullet] You on her lawn in a trech coat with an oversized boom box playing a tape of you singing “Will you go to homecoming with me?” really loud held above your head. [/QUOTE] pump it through a boom box… **Plan** : **0900** Make sure she has no plans tonight **1200** Coordinate with her sister for a plan to get her into the car at 2050 Hrs (after sunset) **2045** Sister plants a CD with mysterious instructions to follow the signs in her car. (Disguised voice of course…) **2050** Target follows signs set up that tell her to “Turn Right” “Turn Left” etc. (2-3 signs with an infantryman and a flashlight- to light up the signs) **2055** (Cue dramatic music) Car stops at predetermined location, sister makes target get out. **2056** One of my men is on the roof with the Laptop & LCD projector all ready to go **2057** Target reaches large X on the ground **2058** Suddenly a sees an projection image and hears a romantic jazz song **2059** Gunnsfastest emerges from the bushes- in his trenchcoat 😛 -_with_ a rose **2100** Asks question: receives a yes and a hug, a yes and a kiss, a polite no, or a scream and a fainted girl. Any ideas for what the projection should be, how I could fine tune the plan, any elements that probably aren’t right? wow… that was creepesque; I could have probably done without the miltary precision. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homecoming/372049/25 "2006-09-12T01:58:09Z")
Bah…go with the Maverick sings “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling” bit from **Top Gun**. Bonus points if ya line up some buddies to sing backup… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homecoming/372049.md?page=1)