# Homer, a quick question **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 29, 2000, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-a-quick-question/47644 "2000-12-29T06:59:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-a-quick-question/47644/1 "2000-12-29T06:59:22Z")
Are you stoned, man? Cuz I sure as hell am. jb ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-a-quick-question/47644/2 "2000-12-29T10:23:28Z")
I just got stoned, and dammit, did it hurt. Just my luck to have someone without sin standing in the crowd… (Rimshot, please!) ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-a-quick-question/47644/3 "2000-12-29T11:13:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE Bo Diddly \* > \*\*(Rimshot, please!) \*\* [Montgomery Scott voice] “Laddie, don’t ya think ya oughta… **rephrase** that?” [/Montgomery Scott voice] ---
**Author:** ![StephenG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@StephenG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StephenG)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-a-quick-question/47644/4 "2000-12-30T01:26:51Z")
**SPOOFE** , I was amused. 😃 But, given Scotty’s, er, I mean **DRY** ’s comment, I ain’t a gonna give ya that rimshot jest now… ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-a-quick-question/47644/5 "2000-12-30T04:34:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jb\_farley \* > **Are you stoned, man? Cuz I sure as hell am.** Oh, dude, don’t I wish. Don’t I wish. –Tim ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-a-quick-question/47644/6 "2000-12-30T07:03:46Z")
NOBODY is to stone ANYBODY until I blow this whistle!!! Even if they do say “Jehova.” Ow ow ow ow! ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-a-quick-question/47644/7 "2000-12-30T17:31:54Z")
if you guys threw a party, and invited everyone you knew, you would see that the biggest gift’s from me. The card attached would say, “Thank you for being a friend.” Damn, we got a foot and a half here in northeast philly, and there’s hardly any snow anywhere else. I gotta go shovel soon… jb ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-a-quick-question/47644/8 "2000-12-30T18:35:41Z")
So Jesus walks up to a crowd who’s ready to stone a woman accused of being a whore. He calmly quiets the crowd down and says “let that person who is without sin cast the first stone.” Suddenly a rock comes flying out from the crowd, hitting the woman and knocking her down. Jesus looks up, shakes his head, and says “I’m trying to make a point here, mom.” You can just give away my rimshot to Spoofe. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Philosopher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3ec8ea/32.png) [@The\_Great\_Philosopher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Philosopher)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-a-quick-question/47644/9 "2000-12-30T18:42:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw23 \* > **So Jesus walks up to a crowd who’s ready to stone a woman accused of being a whore. He calmly quiets the crowd down and says “let that person who is without sin cast the first stone.” Suddenly a rock comes flying out from the crowd, hitting the woman and knocking her down. > Jesus looks up, shakes his head, and says "I’m trying to make a point here, mom."** that made me laugh quite a fair amount -Andrew ---
**Author:** ![Knowledge\_Brings\_Fear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Knowledge\_Brings\_Fear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowledge_Brings_Fear)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-a-quick-question/47644/10 "2000-12-30T18:47:56Z")
Please, guys, you’re shocking the populace. ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-a-quick-question/47644/11 "2000-12-30T18:59:23Z")
A lady walks into a bar and asks the for a double entendre. So he gives it to her. ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-a-quick-question/47644/12 "2000-12-30T19:01:42Z")
the bartender. the bartender. she asks the bartender… fuckso. ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-a-quick-question/47644/13 "2000-12-30T20:46:29Z")
Three nuns walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks. A rabbi, a minister, a horse, and a ballerina walk into a bar. The bartender says “What is this, some kind of joke?” –Tim ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-a-quick-question/47644/14 "2000-12-30T20:56:34Z")
why did the nympho go into the curch? Cuz she heard there’s a guy in there hung like this. (_put arms in crucified position_) jb ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-a-quick-question/47644/15 "2000-12-30T21:40:37Z")
Q: What did the leper tell the prostitute? A: Keep the tip… Bah Dum Bum! ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-a-quick-question/47644/16 "2000-12-30T22:01:48Z")
what’s small, green, and constantly losing body parts? wait for it, wait for it! A Leperchaun. jb ---
**Author:** ![slackergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@slackergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slackergirl)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-a-quick-question/47644/17 "2000-12-30T22:06:52Z")
To the tune of “Yesterday” Leprosy, all my parts are falling off of me I’m not half the man I used to be… Does anybody know the rest? ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-a-quick-question/47644/18 "2000-12-30T22:15:17Z")
it’s beginning to look a lot like syphllis, Every time I go ---
**Author:** ![hypergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/49beb7/32.png) [@hypergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hypergirl)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-a-quick-question/47644/19 "2000-12-30T22:22:01Z")
The popem a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar. Ow, Ow, Oy. ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-a-quick-question/47644/20 "2000-12-30T22:24:52Z")
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says “Why the long face?” Bu-dump CHANG! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-a-quick-question/47644.md?page=2)