# Homer quotes. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 12, 2005, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-quotes/312088 "2005-07-12T00:09:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-quotes/312088/121 "2005-07-19T12:37:05Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > “Hey…Disco Stu doesn’t _advertise_.” > > And, in addition to _Tramapoline_, I like when Homer says, “Saxamaphone.” _Into_ the saxamaphone itself. ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-quotes/312088/122 "2005-07-19T13:49:30Z")
> [@mobo85](#): > > Three lines from a classic episode: > > My prices are so low, you’ll think I’ve suffered brain damage! > > Well, John Q. Driveway has our number. Now we play the waiting game… > Ah, the waiting game sucks. Let’s play Hungry Hungry Hippos. > > Oh, you want the Mister Plow who plows driveways. This is _Tony_ Plow. You know, from _Leave it to Beaver_? [pause] Yeah, they were gay. Woman: Be careful with the asphalt. Homer: Kiss my asphalt. ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-quotes/312088/123 "2005-07-19T13:56:43Z")
> [@robardin](#): > > Or more visually, from the episode when George Bush (Sr.) moves to Springfield to get away from it all (“the town with the lowest voter turnout in the nation” where the people don’t recognize even his name, reacting with a hesitant “ohhh…” when he elaborate that he is “_former President_ George Bush”), we come back from the first commercial break to see Homer fingering an entry for GB in the Encyclopedia, muttering, “well, I guess his story checks out”. I also liked it when Homer makes cardboard figures of George W. Bush and Jeb Bush. George Sr. looks through the peephole and sees them. Homer: Hello, it’s your sons George Jr. and Jeb Bush. George: Barb, the boys are here! ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-quotes/312088/124 "2005-07-19T14:56:56Z")
“Clarimanet? Saxamaphone? Tumaba?” ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-quotes/312088/125 "2005-07-19T17:56:01Z")
> [@Max the Immortal](#): > > Mmm… sacrelicious… How many of these have there been? When he’s eating the fertility drugs that the whole family gave to Apu’s wife Manjula. Homer: Mmm… Ovulicious… And another favorite. Lisa: Dad, you’ve been driving in circles for twenty minutes! Why don’t you just admit you don’t know where the hospital is? Homer: Why don’t _you_ admit I know it’s around here somewhere?! ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-quotes/312088/126 "2005-07-19T18:07:44Z")
“That’s a fine barn, but 'tis no pool, english.” “D’OH-ETH!” ---
**Author:** ![ethelbert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/958977/32.png) [@ethelbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ethelbert)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-quotes/312088/127 "2005-07-19T18:43:09Z")
In a world gone mad, only the lunatic is truly insane. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-quotes/312088/128 "2005-07-19T18:50:21Z")
“Stupider like a _fox_!” ---
**Author:** ![EleventyOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecb155/32.png) [@EleventyOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EleventyOne)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-quotes/312088/129 "2005-07-19T20:03:04Z")
“Mr. Simpson, why are you wearing a grocery bag?” (haughtily) “I have misplaced my pants.” ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-quotes/312088/130 "2005-07-19T20:13:12Z")
“Who are you, and why are you ruining my retirement party?” “I’ll have you _KNOW_ I wandered _OFF_ from the _TOUR_.” The delivery in that line is hysterical, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![YellowTail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/b5ac83/32.png) [@YellowTail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YellowTail)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-quotes/312088/131 "2005-07-19T21:01:44Z")
Why does Lisa have to be so moral? Why can’t she be more like … well, not like _Bart!_ But there has to be a happy medium. I told you. I thought the police officer was a pro-sti-tute. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Wrong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@Mr.Wrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Wrong)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-quotes/312088/132 "2005-07-19T21:22:33Z")
Scorpio: Homer, I want to buy you lunch. You like Thai? Homer: Tie good. You like shirt? ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-quotes/312088/133 "2005-07-19T21:58:13Z")
[QUOTE=tdn “Marge, you can’t become a cop, because if you do, then you’ll be the man, which means I’ll be the woman, which means that I’ll have to wear the sexy underwear, which, as we discussed, is strictly for comfort purposes.”[/QUOTE] This line gets more play around my house than I ought to admit. ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-quotes/312088/134 "2005-07-19T22:47:39Z")
Homer: Well, it was a good ride while it lasted. Come on kids, let’s go home. Lisa: We _are_ home. Homer: (vacantly) That was fast. ---
**Author:** ![figenschoug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a698b9/32.png) [@figenschoug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/figenschoug)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-quotes/312088/135 "2005-07-19T23:19:01Z")
Paraphrased: Homer:“But Bart, there is no such thing as a doggie heaven.” (Bart gasps) Marge:“Mmmrh!” Homer:“Or…to put it another way…there IS!” ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-quotes/312088/136 "2005-07-19T23:23:19Z")
> [@Mr. Wrong](#): > > Scorpio: Homer, I want to buy you lunch. You like Thai? > Homer: Tie good. You like shirt? That wasn’t Scorpio, that was Trent Steel, Max Power’s oldest and dearest friend. Hopefully this helpful tidbit of information will make up for my completely idiotic posting “blind spot” above :smack: ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-quotes/312088/137 "2005-07-20T00:04:13Z")
What are you talking about, I never had a plow buisness. (sings to himself) Mr. Plow, that’s my name. That name again is Mr. Plow. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-quotes/312088/138 "2005-07-20T00:19:11Z")
I love it when Homer displays this knowledge of trivia. Like Chief Justices of the Supreme Court: Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. What great men he would join. John Marshall, Charles Evans Hughes, Warren Burgher… Mmmmmmm… Burgher… ---
**Author:** ![TurdFerguson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9a140/32.png) [@TurdFerguson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TurdFerguson)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-quotes/312088/139 "2005-07-20T15:20:47Z")
I often say this to the wife: “I’ll understand if you want to sleep on the couch tonight.” ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Wrong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@Mr.Wrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Wrong)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-quotes/312088/140 "2005-07-20T15:28:15Z")
> [@interface2x](#): > > That wasn’t Scorpio, that was Trent Steel, Max Power’s oldest and dearest friend. Hopefully this helpful tidbit of information will make up for my completely idiotic posting “blind spot” above :smack: My bad. Must’ve been all those Flaming Moes I drank. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-quotes/312088.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-quotes/312088.md?page=8)