# Homer Simpson versus Peter Griffin--to the DEATH! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 27, 2009, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-simpson-versus-peter-griffin-to-the-death/515349 "2009-10-27T21:19:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-simpson-versus-peter-griffin-to-the-death/515349/21 "2009-10-28T14:04:13Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > Nope. > > Homer never succeeded at anything in his life. > > Peter _succeeds_, but tosses away his success. > > Peter wins. What the hell do you mean Homer never succeeded at anything? He was an astronaut and he won a grammy as well as the 1st Annual Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-simpson-versus-peter-griffin-to-the-death/515349/22 "2009-10-28T14:55:55Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > What the hell do you mean Homer never succeeded at anything? He was an astronaut and he won a grammy as well as the 1st Annual Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence. He was only chosen to be an astronaut because NASA was losing in the Nielsens to the likes of _A Connie Chung Christmas_, the Monty Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence was a sham to cover the fact that his years of working at the power plant made him sterile, and the Grammy barely counts as an award at all. The only true awards he won- at his high school reunion in such prestigious categories as Most Weight Gained, Most Improved Odor, and Most Hair Lost- also had to be taken away due to the fact that he never completed Remedial Science. There’s a reason Homer’s in the dictionary under “to succeed despite idiocy”- all his life he’s pulled a Homer and gotten to where he is by pure dumb luck, as the late Frank Grimes would tell you. And this is what makes him and Peter Griffin like two morbidly obese peas in a pod. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-simpson-versus-peter-griffin-to-the-death/515349/23 "2009-10-28T15:22:55Z")
Peter has actually killed people. Has Homer ever killed anyone? I don’t count Maude Flanders. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-simpson-versus-peter-griffin-to-the-death/515349/24 "2009-10-28T15:24:50Z")
> [@garygnu](#): > > Peter has actually killed people. Has Homer ever killed anyone? I don’t count Maude Flanders. Does that loafter he tackled at work (who, unbeknownst to him, was actually James Bont) count? ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-simpson-versus-peter-griffin-to-the-death/515349/25 "2009-10-28T16:25:00Z")
> [@garygnu](#): > > Peter has actually killed people. Has Homer ever killed anyone? I don’t count Maude Flanders. Zombie Flanders. And it should count because he didn’t know Ned was a zombie. ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-simpson-versus-peter-griffin-to-the-death/515349/26 "2009-10-28T16:33:38Z")
> [@garygnu](#): > > Peter has actually killed people. Has Homer ever killed anyone? I don’t count Maude Flanders. Does Fred Grimes (or ‘Grimey’ as he like to be called) count? ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-simpson-versus-peter-griffin-to-the-death/515349/27 "2009-10-28T17:49:16Z")
The fight is happening at Moe’s where Homer knows where the pickled eggs are. Homer could use these eggs to poison Peter. Homer would whip out the eggs from behind the counter and smash them in Peter’s maw. No, wait. Homer would whip out the eggs, think about smashing Peter for one second and then eat the eggs himself. The fight would be a draw if, and only if, Homer dies before he eats all the eggs and there remains enough to entice and poison Peter. The only good thing to come of this whole fiasco is when Lisa and Meg meet at the funerals and become lifetime life partners. ---
**Author:** ![Taber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac91a4/32.png) [@Taber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taber)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-simpson-versus-peter-griffin-to-the-death/515349/28 "2009-10-28T19:18:40Z")
Homer’s a former pro boxer, as has been mentioned, and buffs up pretty well in several episodes, which shows he at least has some base level of muscle under the fat. Peter is nearly power scooter fat. Homer wins. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-simpson-versus-peter-griffin-to-the-death/515349/29 "2009-10-28T20:23:51Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > I really think Homer would be more inclined to notice that the beer taps were unattended than that his cronies were croaked. No, that’s Peter. Homer, despite his stupidity, has actual human feelings and is not invariably evil. He’s gone out of his way to help Moe, Barney, and Flanders on multiple occasions. Peter, by contrast, ultimately loves only himself. Homer would kill people for even THINKING of doing to Marge the things Peter has actually done to Lois. ETA: I wonder if Homer’s greater humanity would be an impediment or a strength in this epic duel? ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-simpson-versus-peter-griffin-to-the-death/515349/30 "2009-10-28T20:38:45Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Homer Simpson versus Peter Griffin–to the DEATH! How could anyone tell the difference? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-simpson-versus-peter-griffin-to-the-death/515349/31 "2009-10-28T20:43:33Z")
> [@ITR\_champion](#): > > How could anyone tell the difference? Homer’s a dreamy nitwit who actually loves his family. Peter’s pure, unblinking, kitten-barbecuing evil. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-simpson-versus-peter-griffin-to-the-death/515349/32 "2009-10-28T21:09:15Z")
Homer would go all Bruce Lee on Peter’s ass. The fat yellow bastard has mad martial arts skills. [check it out](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1QI1XHayNE) ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-simpson-versus-peter-griffin-to-the-death/515349/33 "2009-10-29T01:57:18Z")
Peter as balls for a chin so I think the first time Homer hits him it’s he’s going down. Plus Homer has been carrying around that inanimate carbon rod looking for a head to bust. ---
**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-simpson-versus-peter-griffin-to-the-death/515349/34 "2009-10-29T19:21:01Z")
Homer’s damage soak is much higher. He had an actual bridge close on his head and had a truck drive over him with no ill effects. Homer for the win. ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-simpson-versus-peter-griffin-to-the-death/515349/35 "2009-10-30T07:08:46Z")
Peter has better brawling skills but Homer is super at choking. I think Peter’s neck is probably too fat though. Peter wins. ---
**Author:** ![Lethal\_Babydoll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3be4f8/32.png) [@Lethal\_Babydoll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lethal_Babydoll)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-simpson-versus-peter-griffin-to-the-death/515349/36 "2009-10-30T23:01:50Z")
every real fight i’ve ever been in (i used to drink too much and get angry) quickly became a wrestling match that ended with me choking the other guy until he gave in or we were pulled apart (learn to choke, never lose a fight). homer would never choke anyone to death. Peter would in a heartbeat. he’s much meaner than homer. a whole lot meaner. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homer-simpson-versus-peter-griffin-to-the-death/515349.md?page=1)