# Homer's Jobs (5/22 Simpsons) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 23, 2002, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homers-jobs-5-22-simpsons/110535 "2002-05-23T19:48:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tretiak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@Tretiak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tretiak)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2002, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homers-jobs-5-22-simpsons/110535/1 "2002-05-23T19:48:57Z")
I was dying when Homer recited that long list of former jobs. I twas kind of a jab at all the Simpsons fans that complain whenever they do a Homer gets a new job show. Anybody have the list? ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2002, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homers-jobs-5-22-simpsons/110535/2 "2002-05-23T20:03:57Z")
A guy named \*\* Edgehopper\*\* at [www.nohomers.net](http://www.nohomers.net) posted this: > [@](#): > > Boxer (The Homer They Fall) > Mascot (Dancin’ Homer) > Astronaut (Deep Space Homer) > Imitation Krusty (Homie the Clown) > Babyproofer (Bye Bye Nerdie) > Trucker (Maximum Homerdrive) > Hippie (D’oh-in in the Wind) > Plow Driver (Mr. Plow) > Food Critic (Guess Who’s Coming to Criticize Dinner) > Conceptual Artist (Mom and Pop Art) > Grease Salesman (Lard of the Dance) > Carny (Bart Carny) > Mayor (A Tale of Two Springfields) > Grifter (The Great Money Caper) > Bodyguard for the Mayor (Mayored to the Mob) > Country-Western Manager (Colonel Homer) > Garbage Commissioner (Trash of the Titans) > Mountain Climber (King of the Hill) > Farmer (E-I-E-I-D’oh) > Investor (HOMR, technically also Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?) > Smithers (Homer the Smithers) > Poochie (Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie) > Celebrity Assistant (When You Dish Upon a Star) > Power Plant Worker (Pretty much every ep) > Fortune Cookie Writer (Hunka Hunka Burns in Love) > Beer Baron (Homer vs. the 18th Amendment) > Kwik-e-Mart Clerk (Lisa’s Pony) > Homophobe (Homer’s Phobia) > Missionary (Missionary: Impossible) ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2002, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homers-jobs-5-22-simpsons/110535/3 "2002-05-23T20:41:34Z")
Safety Activist (Homer’s Odyssey) Blackjack Dealer ($pringfield) College Student (Homer Goes to College) Singer (Homer’s Barbershop Quartet) Vigilante (Homer the Vigilante) Naval Reserve Officer (Simpson Tide) Movie Director/Editor (Beyond Blunderdome) Kid’s Football Coach (Bart Star) ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2002, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homers-jobs-5-22-simpsons/110535/4 "2002-05-23T23:16:22Z")
That was BY FAR the funniest scene in last night’s episode and that episode was probably my favorite of the season! ---
**Author:** ![TheeGrumpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/779978/32.png) [@TheeGrumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheeGrumpy)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homers-jobs-5-22-simpsons/110535/5 "2002-05-24T00:16:52Z")
Anyone care to list Marge’s previous (paid) occupations? For example, she was a police officer long before Homer ever was. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. How could Apu’s octuplets be toddlers when Maggie is still and infant, and has been since before Apu was married??? ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homers-jobs-5-22-simpsons/110535/6 "2002-05-24T03:11:21Z")
Lessee…Marge has been: -A roller-waitress at a restaurant -A pretzel vendor -A real-estate agent -A substitute teacher -A homeschool teacher -A police officer -A stage performer (if you count that “Behind the Laughter” episode) -Krusty’s sidekick, Sideshow Marge -An employee at Burns’ plant, doing what, I can’t recall (although she did come up with the idea for “Funny Hat Day” and playing Tom Jones music) -A church aide and “Listen Lady” There’s more, but…in the words of Lenny, “Eh.” ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homers-jobs-5-22-simpsons/110535/7 "2002-05-24T03:22:31Z")
[hijack] Did anyone else notice a I-95 sign? [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homers-jobs-5-22-simpsons/110535/8 "2002-05-24T13:00:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by brujo \* > \*\*[hijack] > > Did anyone else notice a I-95 sign? > > [/hijack] \*\* Yeah I saw that and it looked like a normal interstate sign. There was another job that Homer had that I saw last night but now for the life of me I can’t remember which one I saw. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![pure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3ab097/32.png) [@pure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pure)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homers-jobs-5-22-simpsons/110535/9 "2002-05-24T15:35:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Edward The Head \* > \*\* > > Yeah I saw that and it looked like a normal interstate sign. > > There was another job that Homer had that I saw last night but now for the life of me I can’t remember which one I saw. ☹ \*\* ---
**Author:** ![pure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3ab097/32.png) [@pure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pure)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homers-jobs-5-22-simpsons/110535/10 "2002-05-24T15:37:10Z")
ugh, this board screws up alot when i try to post. my post was supposed to have the above quote and: I think he’s referring to the sign as an indication of where the Simpson’s live, not as being strange in some way. ---
**Author:** ![Efrem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@Efrem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Efrem)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homers-jobs-5-22-simpsons/110535/11 "2002-05-24T17:04:33Z")
Monorail Driver (Marge vs. the Monorail) The “Internet King” and Jr. V.P. for Compuglobalhypermeganet (Das Bus) Spy/Squealer for the FBI (The Trouble With Trillions) Side-Show freak (Homerpalooza) Drive-thru worker at Gulp n Blow (I Married Marge) Windmill crank turner at Mini-golf (I Married Marge) Pin Monkey (And Maggie Makes Three) Limo Driver (Homer vs. Patty and Selma) Grave Digger (Treehouse of Horror II) Teacher (Secrets of a Successful Marriage) Car Designer (Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?) Juror (The Boy Who Knew Too Much) Telemarketer (Lisa’s Date With Density) Bar Tender (?? that one where moe changed his bar) I can’t do more without turning from a normal geek to a ultrageek. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homers-jobs-5-22-simpsons/110535/12 "2002-05-24T17:19:55Z")
Wasn’t Homer Burns’ Prank Monkey? ---
**Author:** ![TigoleBitties](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cab0a1/32.png) [@TigoleBitties](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TigoleBitties)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/homers-jobs-5-22-simpsons/110535/13 "2002-05-24T18:35:44Z")
Dunno the episodes but he was also - Day Care Runner (not owner…Marge was legally) - Drug Tester (Oh My GOD…I’m Blind!) - Mall Santa Claus - Sugar Seller (Homer’s Sugar…with surprises like glass) - Time Traveller - Instructor of “How to live on the Edge” for Flanders - Daredevil (involuntarily-Springfield Gorge jump and voluntarily-assistant to Daredevil Dan in his Las Vegas Jump) - Medicine Hawker - House sitter (Burn’s Mansion) - Biker - Worksite Whistleblower - Polygamist - Fugitive from the law (numerous times…both local, statewide, international) - Loch Ness Monster Hunter - Mr. X - Global Conspiracy Exposer - Grammy Winner - Nobel Prize Winner - Deprogrammer and deprogramee - Executive (with hair) - Nuclear Waste Disposal Unit (He had to eat it as punishment) - Inventor (Time Travelling Toaster, Battery Powered hammer, Makeup Gun, The Everything is Ok Alarm, Combination Recliner/Toilet, The Flaming Homer/Moe, Tommaco, The Homer Spine Straightener) -Unlicensed Chiropracter -Unlicensed Doctor (exposed by the We know all your secrets children)