Homosexuality in Young Teens - Legit or just experimentation?

[clairobscur]

@Licentious Ectomorph

I firmly believe that the vast majority of people, by the time they’re old enough to have sexual feelings, know perfectly well which gender they have sexual feelings for.

That’s not what the sex-ed book I read around that age was saying. Actually, it said pretty much the contrary : that young teens often still aren’t firmly “decided” about what sex they’re attracted to. No, maybe the book was very wrong but I still remember this part extremely well because it applied perfectly to me and allowed me not to wonder and/or bother anymore about the issue.

I know that the plural of anecdote isn’t data, but that’s my experience.

[saoirse]

@Phlosphr

The majority of the female clients I work with are Borderline. And we do have some followup data on their whereabouts and such up to 2 years down the road. If the clients choose to fill out the little questionnairs and if they are honest with them when they do… the data could be very helpful. As it is though, it appears most do not want to followup with us and do not fill out the Q’s we send them.

Well it is BPD. What did you expect?
Just think, if they had OCD, all the circles would be filled in perfectly.

[footloose]

@Phlosphr

I work with young teens in trouble - That is the generic phrase for what I do. I work with children who have various substance abuse problems usually tied to some sort of abuse such as sexual or emotional or physical.

Taking this job I expected certain things from the kids, for instance: I expected them to be somewhat defiant, questioning authority, willful and possibly some rudeness…

I got most of what I expected…however, I got one more thing I didn’t expect. Nearly 80% of the teens I work with have reported one or more sexual acts with the same sex. Nearly 70% of that number report wanting to be with a same sex partner indefinitely.

My questions are thus: Do these numbers seem high to anyone?

Does anyone think there is a certain amount of experiemtnation going on with same sex teen partners that is normal or expected?

Have any teachers out there in mainstream highschools and middle schools seen other such phenomena? How about parents?

Why does it matter?

The people with whom you work have issues. I’m guessing that you’re seeing issues ranging from substance to physical to emotional to physical abuse.

Let me clue you in to something: Straight people have issues with straight people. Straight people have issues with gay people. Gay people have issues with gay people. All of them have issues with society/family/friends/SOs.

Who is sleeping with whom has jack squat to do with the problem. The PROBLEM is the problem. Fix the problem so that your client can do what he or she wants without society telling her/him that she/he is fucked up.

[saoirse]

@footloose

Why does it matter?
… Who is sleeping with whom has jack squat to do with the problem. The PROBLEM is the problem. Fix the problem so that your client can do what he or she wants without society telling her/him that she/he is fucked up.

I think if Phlosphr thought it mattered, he wouldn’t be musing about it on a message board. It’s possible to “fix the PROBLEM” and still be curious about other human beings.

[tashabot]

@Ensign Edison

:eek: This whole statement is so bizarre…

What do you mean by bizarre, exactly?

I used to volunteer at a substance abuse recovery center - not a rehab center, but something like an Alano Club. There were a lot of people there, mostly women, but a few gay guys, that turned violently-opposite-sex after someone raped and/or sexually abused them. And there were the ones that, for some reason, slept around more after that, too. As I stated, just my personal experience, and not necessarily proof. It’s just a theory I have.

I mean, I know a lot of people have heard of the butch lesbian who hates men because one raped her or abused her or beat her - it’s a stereotype, but in my opinion, in some cases it’s not far from the truth.

~Tasha

[susan]

1. What Excalibre said. A higher proportion of homeless youth are LGBTQ.

I, unfortunately, know a lot of women and girls who have been raped or abused sexually, and most of them are so afraid of the opposite gender that they become lesbians

I have reviewed the literature on this for a published paper, and there is no empirical basis for this assertion. Actually, it appears that the reverse may be true, in that young children who appear to deviate from their culture’s gender role expectations are more likely to be abused by their families.
3. There’s a longer conversation to be had about the diagnoses of BPD versus post-traumatic stress disorder, but I’ll just say here that bisexuality is not the same thing as the sort of sexual identity amorphousness that one typically sees clinically in BPD.
4. FWIW, I came out at 12, in the early 1970’s. I was not confused, and I had a very clear idea of what my attraction to other girls was about. That didn’t stop any number of people from telling me that I was “dramatic” or “just trying to get attention.” I can’t speak for others’ experiences, and certainly I’ve known people to have different sexual/affectional identities over time. However, I’ve been a lesbian for more than 30 years, and my understanding of that aspect of myself is no different than it was when I as 12.

[Kalhoun]

@AskNott

There’s been a change over the years of just what the definitions are. The consensus was that a person who has ever had a sexual experience with somebody of the same sex was homosexual, or if they also had sex with the other sex, bisexual. This made for a lot of guilt among boys and girls who had experimented with same-sex amusements.

The new consensus among sex researchers and psychiatrists is to base the label, if you must have a label, on the overall preference rather than the “one shot and you’re gay” theory.

I agree. Homosexual behavior doesn’t equal being gay. Ask any person who’s done a couple years in the slammer. There are plenty of them who are in it for the sexual release and human bonding, and who would never pursue a homosexual relationship on the outside. Kids experiment. They’re trying to find out who they are. The world of sex and relationships is not as cut and dried as we’d like it to be. I think it’s great that kids can explore those feelings without the bias they dealt with back in the day.

Out of curiosity, I’m wondering what Phlosphr’s professional background is, and what his colleagues think the reason might be for a high percentage of teens claiming homo- or bi- preference. I would think this would be standard discussion in those professional circles.

[saoirse]

@Shoshana

3. There’s a longer conversation to be had about the diagnoses of BPD versus post-traumatic stress disorder, but I’ll just say here that bisexuality is not the same thing as the sort of sexual identity amorphousness that one typically sees clinically in BPD.

True, but they would be impossible to distinguish based on the OP. If you were able to interview each one, you might be able to determine whether or not each individual had BPD or not. Kids with BPD are a lot more likely to end up in program like that.

[Idlewild]

@Shoshana

1. What Excalibre said. A higher proportion of homeless youth are LGBTQ.
2. I have reviewed the literature on this for a published paper, and there is no empirical basis for this assertion. Actually, it appears that the reverse may be true, in that young children who appear to deviate from their culture’s gender role expectations are more likely to be abused by their families.
3. There’s a longer conversation to be had about the diagnoses of BPD versus post-traumatic stress disorder, but I’ll just say here that bisexuality is not the same thing as the sort of sexual identity amorphousness that one typically sees clinically in BPD.
4. FWIW, I came out at 12, in the early 1970’s. I was not confused, and I had a very clear idea of what my attraction to other girls was about. That didn’t stop any number of people from telling me that I was “dramatic” or “just trying to get attention.” I can’t speak for others’ experiences, and certainly I’ve known people to have different sexual/affectional identities over time. However, I’ve been a lesbian for more than 30 years, and my understanding of that aspect of myself is no different than it was when I as 12.

Could you elaborate on point 2, or point me in the direction of more information on it? I’m extremely interested for family reasons.

[Phlosphr]

@Kalhoun

<snip>
Out of curiosity, I’m wondering what Phlosphr’s professional background is, and what his colleagues think the reason might be for a high percentage of teens claiming homo- or bi- preference. I would think this would be standard discussion in those professional circles.

You would think this is standard conversation but surprisingly it is not. Much of our time is spent monitoring meds and in group counseling settings. My background is in psychology but not clinical - I spend much of my time preparing aftercare and ensuring good family transitions. Some of us postulate about the causes, but my main goal here is to read about other people’s opinion who are not intimately tied to the situation. That can sometimes be very beneficial.

[burundi]

From the ages of 12-16, I was primarily attracted to women. The first person I kissed as another girl. All of my crushes were on other girls. My feelings were sincere, and none of it was a desire to attract male attention. However, all of my serious relationships have been with men, and I’m now married to a man. It seems that this is not at all uncommon. I remember reading about girls in boarding schools in the 19th and 20th centuries having “pashes” (i.e., passions, crushes) on older students or female teachers. My guess is that this is nothing new, but that teenagers now feel more comfortable in vocalizing their feelings.