# Honor Roll Brother may be a pot head **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 8, 2004, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/honor-roll-brother-may-be-a-pot-head/249355 "2004-06-08T22:58:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/honor-roll-brother-may-be-a-pot-head/249355/21 "2004-06-09T19:21:47Z")
> [@RTA](#): > > Remain calm; some nice, undertrained interrogators will be along shortly … Offer 'em some of those “brownies” your brother just took out of the oven, too. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/honor-roll-brother-may-be-a-pot-head/249355/22 "2004-06-09T19:49:56Z")
I guess I’m a prude but I’m very surprised to read some of the cavalier responses about, based on what I gleaned from the OP, a _twelve_ year old smoking marijuana. START, I think it’s great you care enough about your little brother to be concerned about his future. I know I wouldn’t want my twelve year old son smoking anything, including marijuana. I agree with the others who advised you to keep it from your parents unless you suspect he’s using it again. ---
**Author:** ![mack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mack)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/honor-roll-brother-may-be-a-pot-head/249355/23 "2004-06-09T20:47:43Z")
Interestingly the fact that **it’s illegal** has barely been mentioned. “Oh it’s just some pot, no biggie, I’m a big success and I smoke pot”. Until you get busted. However minor the penalty is you still have a record, and you might have a lot of doors slammed in your face career-wise because of it. Two of my favorite teachers in elementary school got busted. They no longer teach. They were great teachers, too. Pity. Then there’s what people _could have been_ if they _hadn’t_ smoked pot. Is it worth it? Don’t you have families? Alas, these are concerns that have been ignored by generation after generation of pot head, so ignore away. Anyway… I agree with the others who say don’t make a big deal about this one incident, especially escalating it to the parents. That’s not to say he shouldn’t be steered away from it if possible, if it looks like it’s getting out of hand. Nothing really good can come of it. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/honor-roll-brother-may-be-a-pot-head/249355/24 "2004-06-09T23:25:12Z")
I didn’t think about the ‘twelve years in the making’ thing meaning the kid was 12, I thought of it as 12 years of school like he’s a senior- **START** , could you clear that up? Thanks, it does change things. Even so… > [@START](#): > > My brother admitted that he had smoked the pot and simply did not like it and felt guilty because he knew our Mother would be disappointed. I don’t think you have much to worry about. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![carimwc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ac8455/32.png) [@carimwc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carimwc)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/honor-roll-brother-may-be-a-pot-head/249355/25 "2004-06-09T23:39:24Z")
> [@mack](#): > > Interestingly the fact that **it’s illegal** has barely been mentioned. > > “Oh it’s just some pot, no biggie, I’m a big success and I smoke pot”. > > Until you get busted. > > However minor the penalty is you still have a record, and you might have a lot of doors slammed in your face career-wise because of it. Not necessarily. There’s this thing called deferrment, in which if you complete all the necessary paperwork and punishments, there is no conviction on your record. There’s a charge, but no conviction. You never have check that little yes box. The teachers were sacked because well, they’re teachers and they were stupid enough to get busted with pot. Most parents wouldn’t want to know that about their kids teachers, even if they did it themselves. Pot shouldn’t be illegal or should be at least decriminalized, but that’s another rant. Lots of pot smokers are decent, hard working people. The people I know are a legal secretary, a head chef with good prospects to own his own restaurant, and someone working their way though college. I bet you just might know people that smoke. You can’t always tell. Just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/honor-roll-brother-may-be-a-pot-head/249355/26 "2004-06-09T23:57:18Z")
As a rebuttal to **Mack** ’s comments: I got busted, right after college. Possession of paraphernalia…in an international airport. The worst thing was the embarrassment (painful) the next worst thing was the cost (about $500, including attorney’s fees) but it has never affected my work. And I was working as a contractor for the state, driving a company vehicle every day. It just never came up, and never has. And I have held other jobs that require background checks since. Heck, I’ve even held jobs that require drug tests. It’s easy, you just don’t smoke for a while. So please step back with your hyperbole. Thank you. Let me also point out that most “user” offenses are minor enough that you will never have to check that box anyway (depending on state laws, etc.). People who grow, smuggle or deal marijuana are a whole different story. ---
**Author:** ![tesseract](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@tesseract](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tesseract)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/honor-roll-brother-may-be-a-pot-head/249355/27 "2004-06-10T00:28:22Z")
> [@Ghanima](#): > > As a rebuttal to **Mack** ’s comments: > Let me also point out that most “user” offenses are minor enough that you will never have to check that box anyway (depending on state laws, etc.). People who grow, smuggle or deal marijuana are a whole different story. Agreed. As anecdotal evidence, I worked my way through college and law school, and got great grades, smoking pretty regularly (1-4 times/week). Knew lots of other smart and successful folks who did too. Sort of just grew out of it after that, and I never smoke now, but I do have to roll my eyes a bit at the reefer madness crowd. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/honor-roll-brother-may-be-a-pot-head/249355/28 "2004-06-10T00:41:46Z")
> [@Olentzero](#): > > One question, though - what were you doing in his wastebasket? Hmmm… the OP said it was in the bottom under a bunch of other stuff. Why were you **digging** in his wastebasket? As an aside, I read the OP thinking his brother was twelve years of age rather than a senior in high school. Either way, I wouldn’t say anything to your parents just yet. If he’s a senior in high school, I wouldn’t worry about it at all. If he’s twelve years old, give him another chance. And stop digging around in other people’s trash. That’s just creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/honor-roll-brother-may-be-a-pot-head/249355/29 "2004-06-10T00:43:25Z")
> [@mack](#): > > Interestingly the fact that **it’s illegal** has barely been mentioned. > > “Oh it’s just some pot, no biggie, I’m a big success and I smoke pot”. > > Until you get busted. > > However minor the penalty is you still have a record, and you might have a lot of doors slammed in your face career-wise because of it. > > Two of my favorite teachers in elementary school got busted. They no longer teach. They were great teachers, too. Pity. > > Then there’s what people _could have been_ if they _hadn’t_ smoked pot. > > Is it worth it? Don’t you have families? > > Alas, these are concerns that have been ignored by generation after generation of pot head, so ignore away. > > Anyway… > > I agree with the others who say don’t make a big deal about this one incident, especially escalating it to the parents. That’s not to say he shouldn’t be steered away from it if possible, if it looks like it’s getting out of hand. Nothing really good can come of it. It really makes no difference that it’s illegal since presumably START has no intention of calling the police. The brother tried it once, didn’t like it, didn’t want to do it again and didn’t want to disappoint his mother. The legal aspect doesn’t really enter into it. That your two teacher friends lost their careers for doing something which, while illegal, hurt no one (based on your statements), speaks to the stupidity of the illeagality of marijuana and the hysteria of the anti-drug crusade. ---
**Author:** ![mack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mack)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/honor-roll-brother-may-be-a-pot-head/249355/30 "2004-06-10T04:46:12Z")
> [@](#): > > It really makes no difference that it’s illegal since presumably START has no intention of calling the police. True enough, except that there was post after post about how so many have done it with no ill effects without mentioning that one effect is you could get in trouble, in varying degrees and with various consequences, with Johnny Law. So I thought I’d put it out there. If you’re able to pick which [state](http://www.norml.org/index.cfm?Group_ID=4516) you get busted in, more power to you. I know I was basically unconcerned with the legality of it during my pot smoking career (1976-1990 give or take). Now I think that attitude was foolish. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/honor-roll-brother-may-be-a-pot-head/249355/31 "2004-06-10T20:06:10Z")
As someone who has tried it once and didn’t like it, I think you shouldn’t say anything to your parents. There doesn’t seem to be any need to. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/honor-roll-brother-may-be-a-pot-head/249355/32 "2004-06-11T20:26:03Z")
START, no offense, but how freaking old _are_ you? Pot is not the best thing in the world, don’t get me wrong. Some poeple may experience negative consequences from long-term, heavy use - but your brother doesn’t appear to be in that situation. And some people use it to cover up other problems - but trying something out of curiosity doesn’t sentence you to a lifetime of addiction. What purpose would this have? If your parents are the easily freaked out types, they’ll freak out. Might do things that have an adverse impact on the guy - overreact and punish him severely, violate his privacy, and so on. He’ll probably (and rightfully) blame you. The propaganda about marijuana is mostly based on crumbs of reality, but a lot of people use pot fairly regularly even, without long term problems, and a lot of them quit on their own, without any difficulty. (It was, incidentally, surprising to me when I learned recently that both my parents only recently stopped occasional use of the stuff, and a lot of their friends still smoke fairly regularly. They usually seem so bourgeois!) You are not responsible for his behavior. He’s old enough to make some decisions for himself, and while it was pretty dumb of him to toss it out in his wastebasket, why the hell do you feel you have the moral authority to rat him out? Drop the teen melodrama. At some point you’ll discover that a lot of the people you know smoke the stuff, and a lot of people don’t. The ones who do? Just as successful as the others. A lot of intelligent people and successful professionals use the stuff sometimes. It’s not your business to stop them. ---
**Author:** ![START](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@START](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/START)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2004, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/honor-roll-brother-may-be-a-pot-head/249355/33 "2004-06-16T17:36:13Z")
Let me clearn some things up… My brother is 12 years old going on 13 this Summer…I wouldn’t be surprised if it was another family member because, for example one of my brothers is not a good student and his friends are grungie, get in trouble types, on the other hand Terrance is more mature than I am and he is the best student by far in my house, no doubt. As far as emptying the Trash Cans it was something that I decided to do, I was on a cleaning rampage. Anyway I have not told on him, but to say I was shocked that he even tried it once is a huge understatement. ---
**Author:** ![START](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@START](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/START)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2004, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/honor-roll-brother-may-be-a-pot-head/249355/34 "2004-06-16T17:36:20Z")
Let me clear some things up… My brother is 12 years old going on 13 this Summer…I wouldn’t be surprised if it was another family member because, for example one of my brothers is not a good student and his friends are grungie, get in trouble types, on the other hand Terrance is more mature than I am and he is the best student by far in my house, no doubt. As far as emptying the Trash Cans it was something that I decided to do, I was on a cleaning rampage. Anyway I have not told on him, but to say I was shocked that he even tried it once is a huge understatement. ---
**Author:** ![START](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@START](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/START)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2004, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/honor-roll-brother-may-be-a-pot-head/249355/35 "2004-06-16T17:38:43Z")
Let me clear some things up… My brother is 12 years old going on 13 this Summer…I wouldn’t be surprised if it was another family member because, for example one of my brothers is not a good student and his friends are grungie, get in trouble types, on the other hand this particular brother is more mature than I am and he is the best student by far in my house, no doubt. As far as emptying the Trash Cans it was something that I decided to do, I was on a cleaning rampage. Anyway I have not told on him, but to say I was shocked that he even tried it once is a huge understatement. ---
**Author:** ![START](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@START](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/START)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2004, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/honor-roll-brother-may-be-a-pot-head/249355/36 "2004-06-16T17:54:22Z")
> [@START](#): > > Let me clear some things up… My brother is 12 years old going on 13 this Summer…I wouldn’t be surprised if it was another family member because, for example one of my brothers is not a good student and his friends are grungie, get in trouble types, on the other hand this particular brother is more mature than I am and he is the best student by far in my house, no doubt. > As far as emptying the Trash Cans it was something that I decided to do, I was on a cleaning rampage. > Anyway I have not told on him, but to say I was shocked that he even tried it once is a huge understatement. MODS please help me clean up that mess I made with all the extra posting…I don’t know what I was thinking. Also please take the one out where I mention a name. Thank You ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/honor-roll-brother-may-be-a-pot-head/249355/37 "2004-06-17T02:09:32Z")
At the age of 12, I’d be worried about him using pot as a way of getting into something else…better safe than sorry, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/honor-roll-brother-may-be-a-pot-head/249355/38 "2004-06-17T05:42:34Z")
> [@Silver Fire](#): > > Hmmm… the OP said it was in the bottom under a bunch of other stuff. > > Why were you **digging** in his wastebasket? **Silver Fire** , have you never emptied a wastebasket in your life? You turn it over and shake it so the contents fall into whatever receptical you’ve chosen. What was on the bottom, buried under a bunch of stuff, is now on top. Not really that hard to figure out. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/honor-roll-brother-may-be-a-pot-head/249355/39 "2004-06-17T05:57:02Z")
Ok, he’s twelve. That sucks, and you should keep an eye on it- but I think that’s really all that’s required. He tried it once and if that’s it, there’s no need to cause him all sorts of problems. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/honor-roll-brother-may-be-a-pot-head/249355/40 "2004-06-17T06:23:05Z")
> [@phouka](#): > > **Silver Fire** , have you never emptied a wastebasket in your life? You turn it over and shake it so the contents fall into whatever receptical you’ve chosen. What was on the bottom, buried under a bunch of stuff, is now on top. Not really that hard to figure out. I use can liners. You pull the liner out, twist it closed, drop it into the uberbag, and pull a fresh liner from the bottom of the wastebasket itself. No danger of spilling, in either sense. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/honor-roll-brother-may-be-a-pot-head/249355.md?page=1)