# Hope hell has good snacks, I told my mom her dinner SUCKS! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 8, 2017, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hope-hell-has-good-snacks-i-told-my-mom-her-dinner-sucks/793060 "2017-08-08T04:21:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Claude\_Remains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@Claude\_Remains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claude_Remains)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hope-hell-has-good-snacks-i-told-my-mom-her-dinner-sucks/793060/1 "2017-08-08T04:21:25Z")
I can recall being a latchkey kid and calling mom at work to have her tell me how to make a grilled cheese sandwich or maybe a box of mac and cheese. I was ten or so. As the years passed Cooking became important to me cause, well, I enjoy food. So, today mom asks about a new little butcher shop just up the street that I’ve been to a few times and wants to get some Kielbasa. We go and the guy says he can make some if she has ten minutes or so while he makes it fresh to her order. She gets fresh homemade sausage and life is good… We’re hanging and having a few cold beers.Then I tease her and say "ya know you can’t just toss that in a pan and fry it, Right? Cut to dinner. She had boiled it for 90 minutes THEN pan fried it. slim jim called and wants her recipe! ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hope-hell-has-good-snacks-i-told-my-mom-her-dinner-sucks/793060/2 "2017-08-08T04:30:46Z")
I’ve been drinking tonight, too. ---
**Author:** ![Claude\_Remains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@Claude\_Remains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claude_Remains)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hope-hell-has-good-snacks-i-told-my-mom-her-dinner-sucks/793060/3 "2017-08-08T04:39:32Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > I’ve been drinking tonight, too. Cheers, bro! I’m think about asking mom to find a new place to stay but she has no friends. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hope-hell-has-good-snacks-i-told-my-mom-her-dinner-sucks/793060/4 "2017-08-08T08:01:31Z")
> [@Claude\_Remains](#): > > So, today mom asks about a new little butcher shop just up the street that I’ve been to a few times and wants to get some Kielbasa. We go and the guy says he can make some if she has ten minutes or so while he makes it fresh to her order. She gets fresh homemade sausage and life is good… > > We’re hanging and having a few cold beers.Then I tease her and say "ya know you can’t just toss that in a pan and fry it, Right? > > Cut to dinner. > > She had boiled it for 90 minutes THEN pan fried it. > > slim jim called and wants her recipe! I doubt that since Slim Jim likes their meat products to have some sort of flavor which, judging from your description, your mother’s recipe was likely seriously lacking. That said, is your mother aware of things called “the internet” and “Google” where you can type in a phrase like “kielbasa cooking recipes” come up with hundreds of palatable recommendations? Last Memorial Day I acquired some quality bratwurst from a local butcher and, even though I’m a neophyte in matters pertaining to the proper preparation of sausages, I was able to a find a good recipe for brats that was appreciated by all. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hope-hell-has-good-snacks-i-told-my-mom-her-dinner-sucks/793060/5 "2017-08-08T11:15:02Z")
Slice kielbasa, put into crock pot with equal volumes tomato juice and cranberry sauce. Heat on low a long time, until sauce thickens. Serve over mashed potatoes. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hope-hell-has-good-snacks-i-told-my-mom-her-dinner-sucks/793060/6 "2017-08-08T11:42:14Z")
You couldn’t have said something when she \*bought \*it? You know, seeing as you love to cook and all 😉 ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hope-hell-has-good-snacks-i-told-my-mom-her-dinner-sucks/793060/7 "2017-08-08T15:59:12Z")
[Every recipe](http://www.food.com/recipe/kielbasa-how-to-cook-fresh-homemade-kielbasa-387079) for [fresh kielbasa](https://www.piast.com/pages/how-to-cook-kielbasa) I’ve seen says [to simmer](http://www.stanleysmarket.com/articles.php?req=read&article_id=7) it for [30 minutes to an hour](http://www.kitchlit.com/how-to-cook-fresh-kielbasa-everything-you-must-to-know/). ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hope-hell-has-good-snacks-i-told-my-mom-her-dinner-sucks/793060/8 "2017-08-08T19:21:50Z")
I politely asked my mom to fry eggs the way I like them, she didn’t seem to mind. ---
**Author:** ![Claude\_Remains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@Claude\_Remains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claude_Remains)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2017, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hope-hell-has-good-snacks-i-told-my-mom-her-dinner-sucks/793060/9 "2017-08-10T04:53:01Z")
> [@NDP](#): > > I doubt that since Slim Jim likes their meat products to have some sort of flavor which, judging from your description, your mother’s recipe was likely seriously lacking. > > That said, is your mother aware of things called “the internet” and “Google” where you can type in a phrase like “kielbasa cooking recipes” come up with hundreds of palatable recommendations? Last Memorial Day I acquired some quality bratwurst from a local butcher and, even though I’m a neophyte in matters pertaining to the proper preparation of sausages, I was able to a find a good recipe for brats that was appreciated by all. Yes. Mom is 76 years old and has a good laugh cause she shares the “Inertubes” as she calls it with (and my daughter gets pissed) millennials and “douche bags”. ---
**Author:** ![Elemenopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b5e925/32.png) [@Elemenopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elemenopy)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hope-hell-has-good-snacks-i-told-my-mom-her-dinner-sucks/793060/10 "2017-08-11T09:08:10Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Slice kielbasa, put into crock pot with equal volumes tomato juice and cranberry sauce. Heat on low a long time, until sauce thickens. Serve over mashed potatoes. There is something very wrong with you. 😉 Slice kielbasa, place in a skillet with a 1/2 inch of water. Steam until water is gone, then toss for a couple minutes till it’s about 50% browned. Serve with sauteed peppers and onions. And mustard. Over mashed potatoes is good, or fried potato pierogi. ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hope-hell-has-good-snacks-i-told-my-mom-her-dinner-sucks/793060/11 "2017-08-11T14:28:45Z")
My mom once served tomato aspic to my stepdad, my brother, and me. My stepfather was the nicest man in the world and never criticized anything she did, but he quietly didn’t eat anything beyond the first bite. (As my bro and I went “EWWWW! TOMATO JELLO? WHAT THE HECK? EWWWW!” in the subtle way kids have.) We never had it again, thank god. ---
**Author:** ![puddleglum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puddleglum/32/137_2.png) [@puddleglum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puddleglum)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hope-hell-has-good-snacks-i-told-my-mom-her-dinner-sucks/793060/12 "2017-08-11T15:32:26Z")
> [@furryman](#): > > I politely asked my mom to fry eggs the way I like them, she didn’t seem to mind. If asking politely doesn’t work, [there are other ways.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4wEyiFZanA) ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hope-hell-has-good-snacks-i-told-my-mom-her-dinner-sucks/793060/13 "2017-08-11T17:47:27Z")
Hell has THE BEST snacks in all the known universes and every firmament. But you can’t have any because HELL! Except, once in a while they’ll give you one and it will taste just like your Mom’s kielbasa. Enjoy Hell! It’s The Best! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hope-hell-has-good-snacks-i-told-my-mom-her-dinner-sucks/793060/14 "2017-08-11T23:18:35Z")
My favorite way to have kielbasa. Slice it in half lengthwise. Fry it. Get a sub roll. Cut it open. Layer in some sauerkraut. Put in the kielbasa. Squeeze some brown mustard on top.