# Horribly embarrassing thread I'm gonna have closed as soon as it's answered **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 13, 2001, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horribly-embarrassing-thread-im-gonna-have-closed-as-soon-as-its-answered/87247 "2001-10-13T13:34:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Anubis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@Anubis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anubis)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horribly-embarrassing-thread-im-gonna-have-closed-as-soon-as-its-answered/87247/1 "2001-10-13T13:34:40Z")
Okay… apparently, I’m not as much a sex freak as the rest of you dopers out there are, so here goes… A bunch of strange sex terms have been used lately, and I would like to know what they mean so I won’t be the weirdo in the boards. Like, ‘head’ or ‘woody’ or any other terms you think I might not know. I don’t really want to do this, so any mod out there, close this after a fair few terms have been explained. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horribly-embarrassing-thread-im-gonna-have-closed-as-soon-as-its-answered/87247/2 "2001-10-13T13:42:01Z")
Well, I’ll chime in at your request. “Woody” is a rather sophomoric term for an erection. “Morning wood” refers to an erection you wake up with. “Boner” also is an erection, and is also a word which is, well, silly and childish. “Hard-on” is a more aggressive or direct word (and the standard, I’d say) for the same. “Head” can be used in several senses. In one sense, it referes specifically to the head of a penis. In the phrase “giving head,” this mean performing oral sex. “Going down on someone” also refers to performing oral sex. I’m not sure which words you know, and which you don’t, so if you give me examples, I’ll answer them for you. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horribly-embarrassing-thread-im-gonna-have-closed-as-soon-as-its-answered/87247/3 "2001-10-13T13:45:02Z")
Well, I’m just gonna chime in here (before the closure) to add that my Uncle named his dog “Woodie” simply so that every day he could say, “‘Mornin’ Wood!” Hilarity always ensues… (My Aunt and Uncle are pretty weird.) ---
**Author:** ![Anubis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@Anubis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anubis)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horribly-embarrassing-thread-im-gonna-have-closed-as-soon-as-its-answered/87247/4 "2001-10-13T13:48:23Z")
Someone can close it now. PLEASE??? You’re right, **Astroboy14** , your Aunt and Uncle are weird. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horribly-embarrassing-thread-im-gonna-have-closed-as-soon-as-its-answered/87247/5 "2001-10-13T13:49:00Z")
Suddenly I’m reminded of a _Calvin and Hobbes_ where Calvin calls the library explaining that he needs to know how to spell a particular dirty word but can’t remember which one, so he asks the librarian to just run down a list of them and he’ll pick it out. ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horribly-embarrassing-thread-im-gonna-have-closed-as-soon-as-its-answered/87247/6 "2001-10-13T13:56:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anubis \* > \*\*Someone can close it now. PLEASE??? > \*\* But darlin’, we know so many more interesting sex terms! ---
**Author:** ![Anubis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@Anubis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anubis)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horribly-embarrassing-thread-im-gonna-have-closed-as-soon-as-its-answered/87247/7 "2001-10-13T13:59:07Z")
I don’t care!! ---
**Author:** ![Angkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/fbc32d/32.png) [@Angkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angkins)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horribly-embarrassing-thread-im-gonna-have-closed-as-soon-as-its-answered/87247/8 "2001-10-13T14:11:34Z")
You asked darlin’…did you really think that you could asked a sex question and have noone answer? BWAhahahahahha! ---
**Author:** ![Anubis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@Anubis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anubis)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horribly-embarrassing-thread-im-gonna-have-closed-as-soon-as-its-answered/87247/9 "2001-10-13T14:14:33Z")
No… Ack! Cough! Sputter! Stop calling me darlin’!!! ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horribly-embarrassing-thread-im-gonna-have-closed-as-soon-as-its-answered/87247/10 "2001-10-13T14:17:07Z")
Don’t forget “The Beast with Two Backs.” ---
**Author:** ![Enkidu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8c91f0/32.png) [@Enkidu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enkidu)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horribly-embarrassing-thread-im-gonna-have-closed-as-soon-as-its-answered/87247/11 "2001-10-13T15:03:24Z")
And “hummer,” that’s a good one to know. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horribly-embarrassing-thread-im-gonna-have-closed-as-soon-as-its-answered/87247/12 "2001-10-13T15:07:16Z")
“dining at the Y”? having your salad tossed? getting teabagged? I’m sure SqrlCub will be along to cover those last two… ---
**Author:** ![Girl\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b38774/32.png) [@Girl\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horribly-embarrassing-thread-im-gonna-have-closed-as-soon-as-its-answered/87247/13 "2001-10-13T15:16:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Astroboy14 \* > \*\*Well, I’m just gonna chime in here (before the closure) to add that my Uncle named his dog “Woodie” simply so that every day he could say, “‘Mornin’ Wood!” > > Hilarity always ensues… > > (My Aunt and Uncle are pretty weird.) \*\* One of my dogs is named Woody. The neighbors get a real kick out of Mr.Jawofech in the backyard going “Woody is such a good boy, yes he is. Who’s my big Woody? Who’s my big boy? Yay, Woody is the big boy, yes he is.” I tell him when they hear the dog bark during this exchange they are either laughing or terribly afraid to look. As for the OP, I like the term “Bumpin’ Uglies”. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horribly-embarrassing-thread-im-gonna-have-closed-as-soon-as-its-answered/87247/14 "2001-10-13T15:26:28Z")
Huh? A Woody is a cool surfer car. ---
**Author:** ![Turbo\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@Turbo\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turbo_Dog)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horribly-embarrassing-thread-im-gonna-have-closed-as-soon-as-its-answered/87247/15 "2001-10-13T15:27:17Z")
Doin the nasty. Horizontal Bop/Lambada. Munching Carpet. Knob Gobblin’. Tubesteak Boogey. Pearl Necklace. High Protein Colonic. One Eyed Spitting Snake. Naked Ballet. Boinking. Scroggin’. Plow the field. Lay some pipe. Check the oil. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horribly-embarrassing-thread-im-gonna-have-closed-as-soon-as-its-answered/87247/16 "2001-10-13T15:30:22Z")
Are there not several threads where lists of terms for varoius body parts, conditions, and acts are contained. Plus Anubis do you know what feltching is? ---
**Author:** ![Anubis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@Anubis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anubis)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horribly-embarrassing-thread-im-gonna-have-closed-as-soon-as-its-answered/87247/17 "2001-10-13T15:31:39Z")
ARGHHHHHHH!!! Close this already!!! ---
**Author:** ![Anubis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@Anubis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anubis)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horribly-embarrassing-thread-im-gonna-have-closed-as-soon-as-its-answered/87247/18 "2001-10-13T15:32:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zebra \* > \*\*Are there not several threads where lists of terms for varoius body parts, conditions, and acts are contained. > > Plus Anubis do you know what feltching is? \*\* I’m not sure I want to know, but I know it’s coming, so just tell me. ---
**Author:** ![Turbo\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@Turbo\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turbo_Dog)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horribly-embarrassing-thread-im-gonna-have-closed-as-soon-as-its-answered/87247/19 "2001-10-13T15:34:36Z")
Don’t forget Snowballing… Almost as yummy as Tossing the Salad:) ---
**Author:** ![Chickenhead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7cd45c/32.png) [@Chickenhead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chickenhead)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horribly-embarrassing-thread-im-gonna-have-closed-as-soon-as-its-answered/87247/20 "2001-10-13T15:38:44Z")
My friend refers to fellatio as “getting brains.” Just thought you should know. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horribly-embarrassing-thread-im-gonna-have-closed-as-soon-as-its-answered/87247.md?page=2)