# Horrified at the money I've squandered on prostitutes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 4, 2018, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrified-at-the-money-ive-squandered-on-prostitutes/811811 "2018-04-04T14:41:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2018, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrified-at-the-money-ive-squandered-on-prostitutes/811811/161 "2018-04-07T22:15:56Z")
> [@Marcus\_Flavius](#): > > I find myself excluded and neglected everywhere I go, even by my so-called "family. " Yeah, people are generally ‘ffriendly’ towards me, but they never actually include me in anything. > > It’s going to be monumentally difficult to change my nature. Quiet, introverted, and reserved, is what I am. Maybe you’re actually really unpleasant to be around. ---
**Author:** ![Marcus\_Flavius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@Marcus\_Flavius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marcus_Flavius)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2018, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrified-at-the-money-ive-squandered-on-prostitutes/811811/162 "2018-04-07T22:24:09Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > Maybe you’re actually really unpleasant to be around. That’s probably it ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2018, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrified-at-the-money-ive-squandered-on-prostitutes/811811/163 "2018-04-07T22:38:23Z")
> [@Marcus\_Flavius](#): > > That’s probably it Well, all your posts are about how you hate everything about your life, about society, about the continued existence of the human species, and about the nature of the universe. Your persona at the Dope makes Eeyore look like a party stuffed animal. Are you saying that you aren’t this aggressively depressed IRL? ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2018, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrified-at-the-money-ive-squandered-on-prostitutes/811811/164 "2018-04-07T22:40:44Z")
> [@Marcus\_Flavius](#): > > That’s probably it If you believe yourself to be unpleasant to be around, chances are that that internalization has a self-fulfilling prophecy effect in re to how the world sees you. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2018, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrified-at-the-money-ive-squandered-on-prostitutes/811811/165 "2018-04-07T22:40:52Z")
Are you autistic? I know a slightly autistic guy who people treat like that. I think he doesn’t quite do social signals right, so it’s a little weird and uncomfortable for people to hang out with him. So they tend to ignore him, even when he’s party of a group. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2018, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrified-at-the-money-ive-squandered-on-prostitutes/811811/166 "2018-04-08T04:16:08Z")
> [@Marcus\_Flavius](#): > > I find myself excluded and neglected everywhere I go, even by my so-called "family. " Yeah, people are generally ‘ffriendly’ towards me, but they never actually include me in anything. Well, maybe the prostitutes you’re paying to come as your dates are the problem. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2018, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrified-at-the-money-ive-squandered-on-prostitutes/811811/167 "2018-04-08T05:15:22Z")
I think you need to look into professional help. And not the kind you’ve been availing yourself of. IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Marcus\_Flavius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@Marcus\_Flavius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marcus_Flavius)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2018, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrified-at-the-money-ive-squandered-on-prostitutes/811811/168 "2018-04-08T05:40:09Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Well, all your posts are about how you hate everything about your life, about society, about the continued existence of the human species, and about the nature of the universe. Your persona at the Dope makes Eeyore look like a party stuffed animal. Are you saying that you aren’t this aggressively depressed IRL? I admit my worldview is deeply pessimistic, but I don’t let it depress me in my day-to-day life. I laugh and joke around just like normal guys. > [@puzzlegal](#): > > Are you autistic? No. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2018, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrified-at-the-money-ive-squandered-on-prostitutes/811811/169 "2018-04-08T07:39:09Z")
How do you know? You’ve already demonstrated that you don’t understand depression, which often doesn’t manifest as a feeling of being depressed. Frankly, the autistic thing might be the key. You could be mildly autistic, and the autism might have caused you certain problems relating to or understanding how to get along with people from an early age, which became deeply imbedded and caused you to become withdrawn and a loner, and perhaps all this ultimately caused you to become depression. Seriously, you’re a young guy with pretty much your whole life ahead of you. Look into it and see if perhaps you have these issues, and if so do what you can to get them corrected so you can live a much better and happier life for the rest of your life. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2018, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrified-at-the-money-ive-squandered-on-prostitutes/811811/170 "2018-04-08T07:59:31Z")
I am a loner and quiet and slightly agora-phobic. But, and this is the thing, I am not unpleasant or overly negative. You can be nice to be around without being gregarious and unfriendly. Smile even if you feel outside the conversation. Teach yourself to make pleasant chit-chat. It is a learnable skill. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2018, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrified-at-the-money-ive-squandered-on-prostitutes/811811/171 "2018-04-08T08:08:13Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > That’s kinda nit-pickyish. Everyone knows what that means. I didn’t coin it. It actually isn’t nit-pickyish, it goes to the core of the stigma that sex workers face and why violence against them is so readily justified by predators, cops, and the justice system. To say that a sex worker sells her body is to say that her client buys her body and can then do what he wants with it. Outside of genuine trafficking cases, this is not true, and it’s \*extremely \*dangerous to perpetuate the idea that it is. So please don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2018, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrified-at-the-money-ive-squandered-on-prostitutes/811811/172 "2018-04-08T08:13:57Z")
Wth? Whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Crap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.crap/32/3131_2.png) [@Dr.Crap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Crap)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2018, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrified-at-the-money-ive-squandered-on-prostitutes/811811/173 "2018-04-08T09:31:11Z")
I’m in a committed relationship and am similarly horrified. Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![postpic200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@postpic200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/postpic200)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2018, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrified-at-the-money-ive-squandered-on-prostitutes/811811/174 "2018-04-08T13:29:22Z")
I’ve honestly been through so much bullshit just to have paid sex. I can’t even imagine the amount of bullshit I’d have to go through to get “free” sex. First there is no such thing as “free” sex. But let’s look at this, say you went twice a month to have sex with the lady you had a pleasant experience with, so 300 a month, 3,600 a year. In 20 years 72,000 now say you got married and after 20 years you broke up what do you think that would cost you? A LONG time ago an old guy by old I mean in his late 60’s told me a prostitute is cheaper in the long run than girlfriends or wives. I hate to say it but he was right. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2018, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrified-at-the-money-ive-squandered-on-prostitutes/811811/175 "2018-04-08T13:32:09Z")
> [@postpic200](#): > > I’ve honestly been through so much bullshit just to have paid sex. I can’t even imagine the amount of bullshit I’d have to go through to get “free” sex. > > First there is no such thing as “free” sex. But let’s look at this, say you went twice a month to have sex with the lady you had a pleasant experience with, so 300 a month, 3,600 a year. In 20 years 72,000 now say you got married and after 20 years you broke up what do you think that would cost you? A LONG time ago an old guy by old I mean in his late 60’s told me a prostitute is cheaper in the long run than girlfriends or wives. I hate to say it but he was right. Oh boy, another one! ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2018, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrified-at-the-money-ive-squandered-on-prostitutes/811811/176 "2018-04-08T13:59:25Z")
You know what? I’d prefer the US legalize sex work (which would also come with regulation, health requirements, protections for both workers and customers, and taxation) so those men who don’t want the work of a relationship can find a release for their sexual tension and quit bothering the rest of us with their angst. Seems largely win-win to me. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2018, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrified-at-the-money-ive-squandered-on-prostitutes/811811/177 "2018-04-08T14:01:34Z")
> [@postpic200](#): > > I’ve honestly been through so much bullshit just to have paid sex. I can’t even imagine the amount of bullshit I’d have to go through to get “free” sex. > > First there is no such thing as “free” sex. But let’s look at this, say you went twice a month to have sex with the lady you had a pleasant experience with, so 300 a month, 3,600 a year. In 20 years 72,000 now say you got married and after 20 years you broke up what do you think that would cost you? A LONG time ago an old guy by old I mean in his late 60’s told me a prostitute is cheaper in the long run than girlfriends or wives. I hate to say it but he was right. A friend used to rent a flat in London next to a brothel, in the 1960s. The ladies lived there, and took a maternal interest in my college-age friend, and he became friendly with them. He says they mostly had regular clients. They’d see the same guy every other Wednesday evening forever. He also said they were rather prudish, and had a very dim view of the “free love” that was becoming popular among young adults. They thought the young ladies were stupid to give it away. Anyway, there’s usually more to marriage than sex and money. If there isn’t, well, a prostitute might be a better financial deal. But that would be a pretty shitty marriage. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2018, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrified-at-the-money-ive-squandered-on-prostitutes/811811/178 "2018-04-08T14:03:36Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > You know what? I’d prefer the US legalize sex work (which would also come with regulation, health requirements, protections for both workers and customers, and taxation) so those men who don’t want the work of a relationship can find a release for their sexual tension and quit bothering the rest of us with their angst. Seems largely win-win to me. Win-win-win. Safer and likely more profitable for the providers, safer and more reliable for the johns, and quieter for the rest of us. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2018, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrified-at-the-money-ive-squandered-on-prostitutes/811811/179 "2018-04-08T15:03:25Z")
> [@Marcus\_Flavius](#): > > I find myself excluded and neglected everywhere I go, even by my so-called "family. " Yeah, people are generally ‘ffriendly’ towards me, but they never actually include me in anything. > > It’s going to be monumentally difficult to change my nature. Quiet, introverted, and reserved, is what I am. No, you don’t have to change your nature e.g. alter the fundamentals of who you are at your core. That’s impossible anyway, and silly in this context - you’re looking for someone who likes YOU. I think what Broomstick meant is more along the lines of “getting out of your comfort zone every once in a while.” Once you meet another quiet, introverted, reserved person with whom you click, then you can both retreat into your social hidey-holes together in peace … but it’s tough to meet someone there in the 1st place. As for your 1st paragraph: the common denominator in all those interactions is you. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2018, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrified-at-the-money-ive-squandered-on-prostitutes/811811/180 "2018-04-08T15:09:40Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > I think what Broomstick meant is more along the lines of “getting out of your comfort zone every once in a while.” Once you meet another quiet, introverted, reserved person with whom you click, then you can both retreat into your social hidey-holes together in peace … but it’s tough to meet someone there in the 1st place. ^ Yes, basically this. You can’t change who are at a fundamental level, but you can become better at interacting with people. There are even professional counselors who specialize in teaching you better interaction with people so a more positive feedback loop occurs (as opposed to digging into past trauma). You may wish to take some of that money you’re spending on prostitutes and spend it on a bit of counseling to enable you to better interact with everyone - note, this is NOT changing your fundamental nature, just tweaking your social skills. You might find this improves your life overall. I’m not going to guarantee it gets you a girlfriend/wife/whatever but a general improvement in your social skills can have many benefits in many areas. Or not. I mean, it’s all up to you, Marcus. If you want to make some changes go for it. If you don’t want to expend the effort save your money. Your choice. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrified-at-the-money-ive-squandered-on-prostitutes/811811.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrified-at-the-money-ive-squandered-on-prostitutes/811811.md?page=10)