# Horrify your fellow Dopers **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 20, 2002, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrify-your-fellow-dopers/143957 "2002-12-20T02:41:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrify-your-fellow-dopers/143957/81 "2002-12-23T11:33:06Z")
Made and ate a whole box of Stovetop Stuffing (one sitting). ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrify-your-fellow-dopers/143957/82 "2002-12-23T16:27:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blackeyes \* > \*\*I still want sex with one of my best friends. \*\* Might help if you bathed. I, also, have never watched a full episode of _The Simpsons._ ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrify-your-fellow-dopers/143957/83 "2002-12-23T17:04:27Z")
I am not going to my mother’s house on Christmas, which means that I will be _ruining Christmas for everyone_. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrify-your-fellow-dopers/143957/84 "2002-12-23T17:41:50Z")
Well, I had two beautiful gift baskets filled with baked goods that my Junior League committee made up to give as gifts to members (we were going to go a random drawing)… but when I went to pick up one of them, the cellophane wrapping tore. I was so peeved, and unwilling to go buy more wrapping, that I decided we were only going to give ONE basket out. Then I gave the contents of the ripped one–all those lovingly baked Christmas treats–to a JEW! A JEW I TELL YOU! At least it was a Doper. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrify-your-fellow-dopers/143957/85 "2002-12-23T17:44:04Z")
Oh, wait. That’s nothing. I forgot the real travesty: I am going to buy–that is, pay real money for–the new Justin Timberlake CD. My niece wants it. God help me. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrify-your-fellow-dopers/143957/86 "2002-12-23T17:44:59Z")
> [@](#): > > Then I gave the contents of the ripped one–all those lovingly baked Christmas treats–to a JEW! A JEW I TELL YOU! Was it me? Was it me? I don’t remember that. It wasn’t me, was it? Sigh. I’ve never done anything that would horrify any of you. I am so boring. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrify-your-fellow-dopers/143957/87 "2002-12-23T17:52:45Z")
**Jonathan Chance** , I was going to chide **Beelzebubba** for obviously letting you get out. Or maybe he was trying to find out who goofed up. Me? Hmm… what did I do that might horrify all y’all? Oh yeah, I masqueraded as a female German tourist. ---
**Author:** ![broccoli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@broccoli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/broccoli)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrify-your-fellow-dopers/143957/88 "2002-12-23T18:23:39Z")
I made a monkey catapult and fired small primates and baby ducks into the Buccaneer’s Stadium for the monday night football game against the Steelers. Oh wait, that’s what im doing _tonight!_ I’m gonna be famous. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrify-your-fellow-dopers/143957/89 "2002-12-23T22:00:42Z")
I haven’t seen _The Two Towers_ yet. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrify-your-fellow-dopers/143957/90 "2002-12-23T22:09:58Z")
I _still_ haven’t mailed my Secret Santa gift yet. And I think I should probably start thinking about buying presents for my wife and kids. Probably tomorrow on the way home from work… yeah, that’ll work. ---
**Author:** ![IGJoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/igjoe/32/5420_2.png) [@IGJoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IGJoe)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrify-your-fellow-dopers/143957/91 "2002-12-23T22:45:57Z")
I’m re-reading my favorite book for the fourth time. [sub]It’s Battlefield Earth[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrify-your-fellow-dopers/143957/92 "2002-12-23T23:45:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michael Ellis \* > \*\*I mastrubate to the teletubbies! \*\* :eek: - Oh, phew. For a minute there I thought you’d said you masturbate to the Teletubbies. This Christmas Day, we’re cooking dinner with the turkey fryer. On the menu is onion rings and mozzarella sticks and maybe Twinkies. ---
**Author:** ![Khadro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@Khadro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadro)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrify-your-fellow-dopers/143957/93 "2002-12-24T00:26:34Z")
I took the $100 my mother in law gave my wife, for the purchase of photo frames for our wedding photos, and paid for my recent visit to a kinesiologist. Then I got some money back from my health fund, and spent it on a CD, and some lunch. :eek: My wife knows about this, but my mother in law does not ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrify-your-fellow-dopers/143957/94 "2002-12-24T00:39:20Z")
I listened to “I’d Rather Eat Pants.” And I LIKED IT. ---
**Author:** ![Tinkertoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@Tinkertoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tinkertoy)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrify-your-fellow-dopers/143957/95 "2002-12-24T01:23:25Z")
I didn’t send Christmas cards to anyone this year. I’m hoping this will get people to stop sending them to me. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrify-your-fellow-dopers/143957/96 "2002-12-24T04:44:49Z")
I bought myself a Christmas present. Wrapped it up and put it under the tree. To Misstee from Misstee [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/horrify-your-fellow-dopers/143957.md?page=4)